Gareth.O
Member
Registered: 25th Sep 02
Location: Kings Langley, Hertfordshire
User status: Offline
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A bloke goes into a pub and the barmaid asks what he wants.
"I want to bury my face in your cleavage and lick the sweat from between your t*ts" he says.
"You dirty git" shouts the barmaid "get out before I get my husband."
The bloke apologises and promises not to repeat his gaffe.
The barmaid accepts this and asks him again what he wants.
"I want to pull your pants down, spread yoghurt between the cheeks of your arse and lick it all off" he says.
"You dirty filthy pervert. You're banned. Get out!" she screams.
Again, the bloke apologises and swears never ever to do it again.
"One more chance" says the barmaid. "Now - what do you want?"
"I want to turn you upside down, open your legs and fill your pu*sy with Stella Artois, and then drink every last drop from it."
The barmaid is furious at this personal intrusion, and runs upstairs to fetch her husband, who's sitting quietly wa! tching the telly.
"What's up love?" he asks.
"There's a bloke in the bar who wants to put his head between my t*ts and lick the sweat off", she says.
"I'll kill him. Where is he?" shouts the husband.
"Then he said he wanted to pour yoghurt down between my arse cheeks and lick it off" she screams.
"Right. He's dead," says the husband, reaching for a baseball bat.
"Then he said he wanted to turn me upside down, fill my f@nny with Stella and then drink it all" she cries.
The husband puts down his bat and returns to his armchair, and switches the telly back on.
"Aren't you going to do something about it?" she cries hysterically.
"Look love - I'm not messing with someone who can drink 15 pints of Stella."
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groom
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Registered: 19th Apr 03
Location: In front of my pc
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Adam-D
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Registered: 11th May 02
Location: Cheshire
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Dom
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Registered: 13th Sep 03
User status: Offline
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quality
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big eck
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Registered: 20th Apr 03
Location: Tullibody. Drives - Audi B8 S4 & Fiesta Zetec-S
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Pete G
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Registered: 11th Apr 03
Location: Barnsley Drives: seat leon, suzuki hayabusa
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Drew
Banned
Registered: 24th Nov 01
Location: County Durham
User status: Offline
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christ they get older 
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SteveW
Member
Registered: 15th Jul 02
Location: Up in the clouds
User status: Offline
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tis very funny, but i was told that one about 3-4 years ago @ college
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drunkenfool
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Registered: 7th Feb 03
Location: Hereford Drives: Audi R8 V8
User status: Offline
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never heard that b4, and 
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OFcorsa
Member
Registered: 6th Jan 03
Location: Cheltenham, Gloucestershire
User status: Offline
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thats from jim davidson!
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Gareth.O
Member
Registered: 25th Sep 02
Location: Kings Langley, Hertfordshire
User status: Offline
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maybe so for you Drew, but I never heard it before now
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Sam
Moderator
Premium Member
Registered: 24th Dec 99
Location: West Midlands
User status: Offline
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Tommy
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Registered: 24th Aug 00
Location: Essex, Colchester
User status: Offline
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