Ojc
Member
Registered: 14th Nov 00
Location: Reading: Drives : Clio 197
User status: Offline
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Taken from that site Shelly posted up 
NO..NO...NO...NO...NO...NO... , That god damned eye is back to ruin my summer.
Its nearly time for Big Brother 4 to come along and blight the days of cider and corn with its gaggle of fuckwits , irritating theme tune and Davina Mcall.
Lets get The lovely Davina out of the way early on.
Cease your hooting you strumpet.
Yes I know she appears on anything these days and many people have covered it at great length.
However its on Big Brother where her true annoyance can be judged.
Stop doing this,
- "speaking in a normal tone rising quickly, and for no reason, to shouting...pausing...shouting again..pausing.. then gradually returning to your normal voice pitch"
What's that all about?
And she's lost too much weight , Davina you used to have a much nicer Arse when you were on Streetmate.
And is it me or did she seem to be pregnant for a amazingly long time.
I believe only the Elephant and the sperm whale can rival the kind of gestation period Davina appeared to go through.
But that's all secondary to the Housemates.
Ahh the house mates - how I hate thee , let me count the ways.
In fact I can't ,
its impossible to comprehend where the production company finds this constant stream of barely coherent talentless show offs from.
Are they being bred in a special Zoo?
Is Human Cloning far more advanced than we thought , could it be that Helen was mearly Blonde Moron 1, Jade some kind of Sinister genetic upgrade and they are already preparing something far worse in their labs.
The Fiends.
Who is screening these applications ??? Who , I want names because they are doing a terrible job , either that or they are a collection of evil sadist godlessfuckers.
Now they show it live all day on E4 as well.
why? , who is watching this?
It is more boring than Formula one
Why do people want to sit around watching total strangers talking shit? - go to a pub . read a book , contract herpes , anything for gods sake, must be better than this.
It seems the whole point of the show is rounding up idiots in the vain hope that some or all of them might have sex.
Why is this of interest?
Is channel 4 really going to show a 5 way gang bang Bukkake party live on television given that they bleep all the fucking swearing out or cover it in birdcall
No of course their not , we may see some fumbling under the sheets or the occasional breast.
Here's a tip for people
If you want to see mainly unattractive people having awkward sex join a swingers club , better still BUY A PORN MOVIE!.
Stop being so hopelessly little England about it all , that a flash of a fat ugly girls nipple is "water cooler" television is typical of the narrow minded state of this country.
Its the entire reason Utter bollocks like Sex and the City continues to get any viewers at all rather than the protaganists being placed in stocks and pelted with dog shit.
And the tasks are cretinous tosh too
Oooh we want you to make a papier mache model of your head - great that'll keep us enthralled.
How about take this red hot branding iron and whoever can shove it furthest up their own arse gets a 2 litre bottle of Sweet Cider.
For Gods sake be inventive - make the attention seeking little fuckers suffer.
Put a axe wielding maniac in the house , slip anthrax into the water supply , electrocute the Diary room Chair , anything.
Do I have to see the drawn out "its so difficult" bleating of the nomination process again?
Its not difficult
Just decide which of the other shitbags your having to share a house with you detest most and work your way down.
Don't try and curry favour with the public by pretending to be all nice - I'd have a lot more respect if they answered the question
- "and how are you today"
- with
"well big brother I hate everyone in here and I am planning to cut their throats in the night , eviscerate their still twitching corpses and dance insanely in their entrails to Abba whilst drunk on cheap wine".
I Hate Big Brother, I hate Big Brother Contestants , I hate You.
Just Ram It
- Full rundown on Previous BB contestants to follow because I Just feel like it , ok.
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