modded_corsa
Member
Registered: 9th May 03
Location: Middlesbrough
User status: Offline
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a bloke goes to majorca on holiday, on his own....
while he's over there he see's cheap...bulk buy flavoured condoms
so he gets proper hundreds to sell to his mates wen he gets back
so he gets back....goes to the pub...and see's opne of his mates.
he goes.
"orite mate.....just got back off holiday and i've brought a few things back....."... he starts telling him bout the flavoured condoms.
"i av beer flavoured ones...strawberry...banana...mint....cherry etc"
so his mate says he'll av one of each and pays him
his mate goes home and see's his wife and tells her about the condoms
and thn he suggests summat to hsi wife.
"i'll go upstairs hunny...and i'll put one of these condoms on....u come up in 10minutes and see if u can guess the flavour.
she agree's and the bloke goes upstairs
10minutes later she goes upstiars.....the lights out...she crawls under the cover and starts to give him a bit of tongue
thn she blurts out.
"mmmmmmmmmmm cheese and onion"
to which the bloke says.
"you fuckin bitch....i aint put one on yet"
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linz
Member
Registered: 18th Jun 04
Location: Co Durham
User status: Offline
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old but funny
Subject: Technical Support
Dear Technical Support,
18 months ago, I upgraded to Girlfriend 1.0 from Drinking Mates 4.2, which I
had used for years without any trouble. However, there are apparently
conflicts between these two products, and the only solution was to try and
run Girlfriend 1.0 with the sound turned off. To make matters worse,
Girlfriend 1.0 is incompatible with several other applications, such as Lads
Night Out 3.1, Football 3pm, and Playboy 6.9.
Successive versions of Girlfriend proved no better. A shareware program,
Party Girl 2.1, which I tried, had many bugs and left a virus in my system,
forcing me to shut down completely for several weeks. Eventually, I tried to
run Girlfriend 1.2 and Girlfriend 1.0 at the same time, only to discover
that when these two systems detected each other, they caused severe damage
to my hardware.
I then upgraded to Fiancée 1.0, only to discover that this product soon had
to be upgraded further to Wife 1.0. While Wife 1.0 tends to use up all my
available resources, it does come bundled with FreeSex Plus and Cleanhouse
2003. Shortly after this upgrade, however, I found that Wife 1.0 can be very
unstable and costly to run. Any mistakes I made were automatically stored in
Wife 1.0's memory and could not be deleted. They then resurfaced months
later when I had forgotten about them.
Wife 1.0 also has an automatic Diary, Explorer and E-mail Filter, and can,
without warning, launch TurboStrop and WhingeExcel. These latter products
have no Help files, and I have to try to guess what the problem is.
Additional problems are that Wife 1.0 needs updating regularly, requiring
ShoeShop Browser for new attachments and Hairstyle Express which needs to be
reinstalled every other week. Wife 1.0 also spawns unwelcome child processes
that drain my resources. These conflict with some of the new games I wanted
to try out, warning me that they are an illegal operation.
Also, when Wife 1.0 attaches itself to my Audi TT hard drive, it often
crashes. Wife 1.0 also comes with a rather annoying pop-up called
Mother-In-Law, which can't be turned off. Recently I've been tempted to
install Mistress 2003, but there could be problems. A friend of mine has
alerted me to the fact that if Wife 1.0 detects Mistress 2003, it tends to
delete all of your Money files before uninstalling itself.
Any help on this matter would be most gratefully received
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