Robbo
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Registered: 6th Aug 02
Location: London
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ROBBO'S CLOCKWATCH
14.59: Reading take the lead at Pride Park. A new low for Derby – a minute before kick-off and they're already a goal down.
15.04: Chelsea one-up with a beautiful flowing move finished off by a trademark Lamps triple-deflection.
15.08: Hold the front page! Emile Heskey scores and Wigan are one-up. Fergie is cross. Brucie is bleeding furious!
15.13: Gareth Barry scores for Villa. Randy Lerner's head goes 'kerchingg!' and he gives Tom Hicks a bell.
15.17: 2-0 to Chelsea! A penalty after Drogba is brought down in the area by, well, no-one- unless it was the ghost of Chopper Harris.
15.20: Penalty to Man U as Ronaldo goes down under pressure from a challenge by the southerly breeze.
15.24: Ronaldo converts the pen after pausing for four minutes in the middle of his run-up. 1-1.
15.32: Reading score again.
15.33: Reading score again.
15.34: Reading score again. Kitson hat-trick in 90 seconds. So untaxing, it's been gift-aided.
15.40: Chelsea go three up with a glorious strike by Ashley Cole.
15.41: Diouf is off at the Bridge. Red card for, well, being downright irritating. Correct decision.
15.46: Fulham score at Pompey. Bullard free-kick.
Half-time - and if it stays like this, Brum and Reading are down and Chelsea are champs.
16.02: Michael Owen scores at Goodison. (Calm down, he missed three sitters in the first half, obviously).
16.07: Reading get a fifth! Leroy Lita taps in a Robbie Savage pass-back.
16.10: Chelsea get four! Shevchenko scores. (At the same time, Scarlett Johannsen announces her engagement to Ricky from Eastenders and Katie Jordan strings together a sentence.) Bolton under real pressure now. Megson sends on three big lads and tells them: "When you get it – hoof it!"
16.24: Sven-Goran Eriksson is held captive in the away end at the Boro. Unfortunately there are so few fans at the Riverside he's easy to spot and the police step in. Liam Gallagher is arrested.
16.35: Didier Drogba falls to the ground in agony. The entirety of west London's ambulance crews are summoned. Will he make it to Moscow?
16.37: Drogba scores! How did he get over that cardiac arrest so quickly?
16.40: Everton equalise. Yakubu fluffs a gilt-edged chance but the ball rebounds off the corner-flag and this time the Nigerian makes no mistake.
16.45: Things are getting desperate for United, so Brucie takes off his centre-halves and plays 2-2-6.
16.48: Reading go six-up. Amazing!
16.49: Birmingham score but it's too late to save themselves. Everton scrape 5th, Chelsea win 5-0. Fulham hold on, and, with Reading, they are safe. Bolton are down and football fans everywhere are quietly happy.
17.07: Man U's search for a winner continues into the 17th minute of stoppage time. The ref has his whistle to his mouth...it’s a corner to Man U...in it goes, the big centre-half rises and....IT'S IN!!! Amazing!!!! BUT WHAT WAS BRUCIE DOING UP THERE IN THE BOX IN THE FIRST PLACE, EH???
LMAO!!!!
Best bit is "Bolton are down and football fans everywhere are quietly happy."
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Robbo
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Registered: 6th Aug 02
Location: London
User status: Offline
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PS for those who do not know me, I am NOT Derek Robson  
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Cavey
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Registered: 11th Nov 02
Location: Derby
User status: Offline
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16.40: Everton equalise. Yakubu fluffs a gilt-edged chance but the ball rebounds off the corner-flag and this time the Nigerian makes no mistake.
Sounds about right, i hate the yak
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Robbo
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Registered: 6th Aug 02
Location: London
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The other best bit is Derby being one nil down a minute before kick off
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Cavey
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Registered: 11th Nov 02
Location: Derby
User status: Offline
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Lets be fair, that wouldn't be much of a shock tho would it
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Marc
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Registered: 11th Aug 02
Location: York
User status: Offline
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PMSL @ Brucie in the box 
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Tom
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Registered: 3rd Apr 02
Location: Wirral, Merseyside
User status: Offline
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@ yak comment and diouf one!
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Robbo
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Registered: 6th Aug 02
Location: London
User status: Offline
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"Fair enough"
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