sand-eel
Member
Registered: 15th Mar 07
Location: carluke/braidwood--IRNBRULAND
User status: Offline
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knock knock....
"whos there?"
"the"
"the who?"
"plumber lol"
"oh sorry, i don't need you anymore, I've fixed it lol"
"oh well, I've still got to charge you £50 for the call out charge lol"
"oh sorry but I can't afford it, need to buy new pistons for my c20let"
"what pistons can you get for £50? ABC123 my first pistons or something lol"
"yeah I've heard they were good?"
"na mate, I've used them and had severe piston meltage, thought it was because I was running lean but no lol"
"why did they melt then?"
"they are plastic mate"
"lol"
"lol"
"lol"
"lol"
Home owner has now bought forged pistons and is running 9 seconds quarter miles.
Plumber changed his job and started working with kids, he is now doing life for 251 accounts of indecent exposure.
[Edited on 10-02-2009 by sand-eel]
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*JonnyG*
Member
Registered: 2nd Jun 08
Location: Lincolnshire
User status: Offline
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oh dear..
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Haimsey
Premium Member
Registered: 8th May 05
Location: Nottingham Drives: Corsa B
User status: Offline
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No. Fucking. Way.  .
Marcy Marc 
White Sport Progress Thread
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sand-eel
Member
Registered: 15th Mar 07
Location: carluke/braidwood--IRNBRULAND
User status: Offline
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.
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liamC
Member
Registered: 28th Feb 04
User status: Offline
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Any chance of that resulting in a ban?
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Nick-S
Member
Registered: 3rd Mar 04
Location: Leigh. Drives: RS Megane 230 F1 Team R26
User status: Offline
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FruitBooTeR
Member
Registered: 18th Jan 07
Location: Wolverhampton Drives: S15
User status: Offline
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Tumbleweed just hit my in the face and it hurt dammm u! 
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nathy_87
Member
Registered: 14th Aug 08
Location: West Mids. Drives: koda Fabia VRS 5J
User status: Offline
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:yawn:
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sand-eel
Member
Registered: 15th Mar 07
Location: carluke/braidwood--IRNBRULAND
User status: Offline
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bttt
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Root
Member
Registered: 28th Dec 08
User status: Offline
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what the fucking fuck?
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MarkSport
Member
Registered: 22nd May 09
User status: Offline
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Miss Beatrice, the church organist, was in her eighties and had never been married. She was admired for her sweetness and kindness to all.
One afternoon the pastor came to call on her and she showed him into her quaint sitting room. She invited him to have a seat while she prepared tea.
As he sat facing her old Hammond organ, the young minister noticed a cut-glass bowl sitting on top of it. The bowl was filled with water, and in the water floated, of all things, a condom!
When she returned with tea and scones, they began to chat. The pastor tried to stifle his curiosity about the bowl of water and its strange floater, but soon it got the better of him and He could no longer resist.
"Miss Beatrice", he said, "I wonder if you would tell me about this?" pointing to the bowl.
"Oh, yes," she replied, "Isn't it wonderful? I was walking through the Park a few months ago and I found this little package on the ground. The directions said to place it on the organ, keep it wet and that it would prevent the spread of disease. Do you know I haven't had the flu all winter."
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sand-eel
Member
Registered: 15th Mar 07
Location: carluke/braidwood--IRNBRULAND
User status: Offline
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shit
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Simon
Member
Registered: 24th Apr 03
Location: Oxfordshire
User status: Offline
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that is a crap 'joke'
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ashleh
Member
Registered: 23rd Dec 08
Location: Nottingham
User status: Offline
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I made a really great sandwich today, cheese, ham, tomato, a crisp lettuce leaf, garnished with whole grain mustard and coleslaw, all wrapped lovingly in a fresh baguette. Anyway, I left the room, for a few minutes (due to a fairly troublesome shit) and when I came back in it was gone. I was completely beside myself. I checked the fridge, the microwave, desperately trying to think where I could have put it. I had a look in the oven even though I knew I couldn't have put it there. I went back to the bathroom, tears forming in my eyes (though I maintain that it was from the smell I left in there rather than my emotional trauma) to see if I might have taken it up with me. Next I rushed round my housemates' rooms trying to find a potential thief, or failing that, at least getting some help on my search.
After half an hour of looking I came to a stunning realisation... I could easily have made another sandwich in the time I had spent looking for it.
In a completely unrelated matter, I have some advice for Kate and Gerry.
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RCoughtrie
Member
Registered: 31st Oct 04
Location: East Ayrshire Scotland
User status: Offline
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hahaha pmsl lmfao rofl omlg ect ect
[Edited on 06-11-2010 by RCoughtrie]
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alan-g-w
Member
Registered: 9th Nov 07
Location: Glasgow
User status: Offline
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are you taking mushrooms Laurie
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sand-eel
Member
Registered: 15th Mar 07
Location: carluke/braidwood--IRNBRULAND
User status: Offline
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No comment!
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alan-g-w
Member
Registered: 9th Nov 07
Location: Glasgow
User status: Offline
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Your thoughts on this?
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bazzaa
Member
Registered: 14th Jan 10
Location: Carluke, South Lanarkshire
User status: Offline
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quote:
Originally posted by alan-g-w
Your thoughts on this?
fucked up
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sand-eel
Member
Registered: 15th Mar 07
Location: carluke/braidwood--IRNBRULAND
User status: Offline
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Not a hangover cure.
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Rich H
Member
Registered: 26th Oct 05
Location: West Sussex Drives: E46 M3
User status: Offline
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sand-eel
Member
Registered: 15th Mar 07
Location: carluke/braidwood--IRNBRULAND
User status: Offline
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quote:
Originally posted by Rich H
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luciaadr
Member
Registered: 11th Aug 04
Location: Bexleyheath, Greater London
User status: Offline
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[Edited on 08-11-2010 by luciaadr]
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nathy_87
Member
Registered: 14th Aug 08
Location: West Mids. Drives: koda Fabia VRS 5J
User status: Offline
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quote:
Originally posted by alan-g-w
Your thoughts on this?
2 skulls (left & right) and a 'Pharoh'(sp?) in the middle.
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alan-g-w
Member
Registered: 9th Nov 07
Location: Glasgow
User status: Offline
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oh aye I didn't see the skulls at first
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