Jamie
Member
Registered: 1st Apr 02
Location: Aberdeen
User status: Offline
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This is apparently going to be televised very soon - but Elton is tryin to BAN the broadcast!
Ali G - Alo! I is ere wiv none uver dan da batty boy of pop, John Elton. Respect.
Elton - It's Elton John actually Ali.
Ali G - Aiih, whatever. So John, is you always been a batty boy cause I erd dat you woz once married - although I also erd dat da missus was mingin?
Elton - Well Ali if you mean have I always been gay then probably deep down I was but maybe fought it because in my younger days especially it was not socially acceptable to be gay.
Ali G - For real, but when you was gettin' jiggy did you fink about people like James Dean and that Jonny Rottweiler who was tarzan so you wouldn't end up wiz a floppy or woz you trisexual and didn't care where you was stickin' Mr biggy?
Elton - Again I probably fought hard to convinve myself I wasn't gay so I nevr had a problem maintaining an erection with women. I now know I am homosexual so I would probably struggle to get aroused with a women now.
Ali G - Wow, I gink I might be homosexual then cause Mr Biggy wasnt coming out to play last Saturday night although ma Julie says it woz coz I drank a bottle of Dan Jackiels and had about 6 spliffs. I fink it woz cozme Julie isn't very subtractive now in fact she's a dog.
Elton - I think your Julie was right - it takes one to know one.
Ali G - Wot, is you sayin me Julie is a batty boy? Nah, the bitch wont take it up the exit hole, I've tried slipping it in a few times. Happarently Julie is too nice a girl for batty sex but she's not too nice for threesome wiv mem mate Dave - it woz wicked!
Elton - Well a lot of women are not keen on anal sex just as I know some gay men who are not keen on it either. Just because you're gay doesn't mean that you have to like it - there are other ways to express yourself sexually with another man.
Ali G - Eh? Like fellatilatio or gaelic.
Elton - Gaelic?
Ali G - Aiih, gaelic. When batty boys lick each other.
Elton - Sure, oral sex is one way of pleaseing a lover but sensual massage can be bery enjoyable for example.
Ali G - but dat is a bit rank innit - ahmean you need to lose your orange juice or what is da point? Anyways enough talk about homosapiens.
I hear dat you spend killions of dosh every year on shopping. Is dat because you is feminist?
Elton - I do spend a lot of money on shopping yes, I wouldn't describe myself as feminist.
Ali G - But I thought dat all gay people were feminists?
Elton - Eh?
Ali G - Chill. Anyway, is you related to dat lefty comedian Ben Elton cause i fink he is rank.
Elton - No, I told you before my name is Elton John and not John Elton.
Ali G - Cool, woz your parents spaced out when dey named you?
Elton - No, thats not my real name but my stage name. Many performers change their names to try to sound more appealing to the public. Take Gary Glitter for example, his name is really Paul Gadd - can you imagine the same guy selling so many records as Paul Gadd or me as Reg Dwight.
Ali G - Nah, but I can imagine him takin some poor kiddies up the Gary Glitter coz he's a paedophile innit. Anyways, talkin' of sickos - hows yer mate George Micheal - I would never let my son go down on him the perverted bastard.
Elton - OK so George made a mistake - anyway I thought you said ebough of the gay talk. I'd much rather you concentrated on another aspect of me.
Ali G - Me know what you saying, sorry Mr Elton. OK then, does yo not fink dat you looks rank wearing a wig? Ah mean you looked a total dick in the 70s wiv da shades but everyone looked like dicks in da 70s.
Elton - If your going to insult me any more I will walk out of the interview - I can put up with a lot but you're going too far.
Ali G - Chill Johnny, no offence. OK - you re-wrote dat Candle in the Wind song when Princess Di got wasted, do you fink she was incinerated by da SAS on da Queens orders or do you fink it woz just down to da pissed French cunt?
Elton - Really Ali, Proncess Diana was a very dear personal friend of mine whom I loved very much - I don't want to discuss it.
Ali G - You loved her, but how could you if you is a batty boy? Is she a feminist or somefink?
Elton - (Leaves Room)
Ali G - Nil respect to da menstral batty boy of pop - some people is just too sensidine. It must be all da years hangin wiv da homosapiens and havin his batty bashed. Anyways I is off for some erbal remedy wiv me boys westside.
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Makarus
Member
Registered: 25th Jun 02
Location: Nottingham/Derbyshire Boarder.
User status: Offline
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Would love to see it.
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IntaCepta
Member
Registered: 25th Mar 02
Location: Mill Hill East, Greater London
User status: Offline
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LOL!!
i have to see this
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Munchie
Member
Registered: 17th Jul 01
Location: I swap goats for mobile phones
User status: Offline
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where u get dat from mate? love da galiec bit!!!!!! lol!!!!
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Macca_G
Member
Registered: 15th Jan 03
Location: Stockport, Manchester
User status: Offline
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It aint real....but still is funny who ever made it up!
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RichardSXi
Banned
Registered: 28th Jul 02
User status: Offline
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LOL, its not real, ali g knows when to cross the line
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charcoalgrill
Member
Registered: 23rd Oct 02
Location: Bristol
User status: Offline
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heard it ages ago, wud still like 2 see it, bet elton john got ewll pissed off.
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Mav 3000
Member
Registered: 16th Aug 01
Location: Leicestershire
User status: Offline
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Didnt sound real reading it but still funny.
Some people on here will believe anything!
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Munchie
Member
Registered: 17th Jul 01
Location: I swap goats for mobile phones
User status: Offline
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shut up ya tit i asked where its from
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Gavin
Premium Member
Registered: 3rd Apr 02
Location: West Midlands
User status: Offline
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@ the gaylick
pew pew pew pewwwww
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Jamie
Member
Registered: 1st Apr 02
Location: Aberdeen
User status: Offline
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Got it emailed to me
Doesnt sound real, but still made me laugh
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MatthewR
Member
Registered: 21st Oct 02
Location: Rickmansworth
User status: Offline
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Fukin well funny!
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