niven
Member
Registered: 29th Mar 02
Location: FALKIRK.. drives corsa sri turbo
User status: Offline
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NOW FOR THE BIG ONE...
>
> Susy DeLucci and the Miracle of Life.
>
> One morning around 5am 22 year old Susan DaLucci of Kittery Maine, woke up
> with a painful need to urinate. At first she thought she had diarrhoea,
> but
> when she stood up out of bed, she realised that it was urinary pain. It
> was
> very similar to the feeling of having diarrhoea, just out the wrong hole.
> She wobbled to the toilet and upon sitting on it, her vagina erupted into
> the most horrific messy farting noise anyone has ever heard.
> In paralysing pain, Ms. DeLucci for the next few minutes continued to push
> and squirt out of her vagina a burning tide of wretch and filth while she
> gripped the sides of the toilet, white-knuckled. She was screaming wildly,
> and the neighbours called the police. When medics arrived they found Ms.
> DeLucci unconscious lying on the floor of her bathroom wearing nothing but
> her bath robe. Running down her
> leg, was a stream of brown and green syrup. The medic had to transfer her
> to
> a stretcher, so he grabbed her left leg which was bent crossing her other
> leg, to straighten her out. When he lifted her left leg to straighten her
> body out, he exposed her vagina at which point a creature, no larger than
> the tip of a finger wormed its way out of her genitals and landed on the
> floor with a wet popping sound. Shocked, the medic stared at the creature
> that was lying on the tiles of the bathroom floor in a casing of mucous.
> It was a tiny mud shrimp and it sat there on the cold floor gasping for
> water while flipping itself back and forth. The horrified medic turned to
> the toilet as he felt the nausea setting in. When he put his face down
> into
> the toilet to puke what he saw was so horrific that to this day he cannot
> look into a toilet without convulsing. The entire toilet bowl was boiling
> with baby brown mud shrimp flipping
> and splashing at a furious pace.
> If you think that is bad - wait until you hear how it happened: Ms.
> DeLucci's official death was the result of a combination of shock
> and severe head trauma. She stood up over the toilet in pain and when she
> saw what she had done, she went into shock and fell, smashing her head on
> the toilet and then on the floor.
> It is believed by medical police that on two nights before the accident
> she
> had purchased a live lobster at a fish market. While lying in a tub, she
> gently inserted the creature's tail into her vagina to derive pleasure. At
> that point, she held a lighter under the
> creature's face causing it to flip its tail in a violent snapping motion.
> The medics found a lesbian XXX video in the VCR and the TV was
> positioned on a table in front of the tub. The lobster was found in the
> kitchen garbage can wrapped in a paper bag. Traces of Ms. DeLucci's DNA
> were
> found on the lobster along with pubic hairs that had wedged themselves
> between the lobster tail joints. The lobster's face was lightly burned
> with
> the same fuel used in lighters. The lobster's digestive track and colon
> were
> found to be full of mud and egg casings. Doctors believe that the lobster
> had eaten them (they are common in the water at fish markets and are
> usually
> harmlessly boiled to death) and the lobster had crapped them out into Ms.
> DeLucci's c**t when she was torturing it.
> Maine mud shrimp only take two days to gestate and Ms. DeLucci was only
> four
> days away from getting her period, doctors believe that at that point of
> her
> menstrual cycle, her womb was the perfect PH balance to grow these mud
> shrimp which are a much larger version of the popular "Sea Monkey" pets
> sold
> throughout the US. Over night the eggs had hatched and the mud shrimp
> began
> doubling in size every ten minutes. You can imagine the pain she was in
> when
> she woke up that morning and gave birth to well over 1,000 mud shrimp in
> her
> toilet.
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Cosmo
Member
Registered: 29th Mar 01
Location: Im the real one!
User status: Offline
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was she fit 
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Brett
Premium Member
Registered: 16th Dec 02
Location: Manchester
User status: Offline
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would of loved to lick her out
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Cosmo
Member
Registered: 29th Mar 01
Location: Im the real one!
User status: Offline
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was the video crustation farm by any chance?
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bradfincham
Member
Registered: 20th Sep 02
Location: East Of England Drives: Clio 172
User status: Offline
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nice, gud job her man didnt go down on her that morning! would have been fishy then!!
thats rough as
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Brett
Premium Member
Registered: 16th Dec 02
Location: Manchester
User status: Offline
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well, she shouldn't have put a fuckin lobster up her cunt, stupid women
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Chris@Speedfreex
Member
Registered: 24th Mar 02
Location: west mids, corsa C20LET
User status: Offline
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seen that one b4
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jay@ffwd
Member
Registered: 14th Jan 03
Location: Worcester
User status: Offline
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yeah old one...
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Adam
Member
Registered: 1st May 01
Location: Hurstbourne Tarrant
User status: Offline
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quote:
Originally posted by niven
The medics found a lesbian XXX
quote:
Originally posted by bradfincham
gud job her man didnt go down on her that morning
Not likely
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Thoday
Member
Registered: 12th Jan 03
Location: Drove kitted corsa b now standard corcs c exclusiv
User status: Offline
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and there was me thinking of goin for some dinner. eugjh!
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tazgirl22
Member
Registered: 2nd Oct 02
Location: Luton
User status: Offline
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Great stuff. Think she'll b usin a vibrator next time
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Thoday
Member
Registered: 12th Jan 03
Location: Drove kitted corsa b now standard corcs c exclusiv
User status: Offline
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shes dead
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Chris@Speedfreex
Member
Registered: 24th Mar 02
Location: west mids, corsa C20LET
User status: Offline
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*bump*
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Adam-D
Member
Registered: 11th May 02
Location: Cheshire
User status: Offline
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wtf
some peole a not right in the head
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C18RSA
Member
Registered: 25th Feb 01
Location: dunstable / luton
User status: Offline
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That is fookin disgusting, where di you here that from yuch the dirty little bitch.
Oh well what ever floats your boat i suppose lol
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Richie
Member
Registered: 3rd Dec 02
Location: Newport, Wales
User status: Offline
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thass fekin sick
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Icy
Member
Registered: 31st Jan 01
Location: Edinburgh Drives: Mk3 Golf Gti
User status: Offline
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WOW old thread alert
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barry_kellett99
Member
Registered: 19th May 03
User status: Offline
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Its fake anyway, good story though.
How can she be having a bath with a lobster stuck up her AND a lighter under his head, assuming there was water in the bath!
Also, I dont see how she could hit her head of the toilet when sitting on it/standing over it!!
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Tiesto
Member
Registered: 6th Jun 02
Location: Hinckley, Leicestershire
User status: Offline
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quote:
Also, I dont see how she could hit her head of the toilet when sitting on it/standing over it!!
cause she fainted when she looked over it, falling over and hitting the toilet
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barry_kellett99
Member
Registered: 19th May 03
User status: Offline
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quote:
Originally posted by Corsa_1.0
quote:
Also, I dont see how she could hit her head of the toilet when sitting on it/standing over it!!
cause she fainted when she looked over it, falling over and hitting the toilet
But if she fell forward would she not fall ontop of the toilet? and if she fell backwards well she would need two toilets for this to work
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GIBBS
Member
Registered: 22nd Feb 01
Location: Kent, Jap Car Importer :)
User status: Offline
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Could be very likely.. she could be bi couldnt she!!!
quote:
Originally posted by Adam
quote:
Originally posted by niven
The medics found a lesbian XXX
quote:
Originally posted by bradfincham
gud job her man didnt go down on her that morning
Not likely
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