Steve
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Registered: 30th Mar 02
Location: Worcestershire Drives: Defender
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My grandad recently died, and has left my dad as executor in charge of the estate and assets.
There are five children of my grandads including my dad.
At the moment its a bit chaotic, with noone really letting the belongings get managed centrally and people have started helping themselves which isnt really going to end up with a fair distribution.
My dad has created a spreadsheet, but some things that some people have put there name down for have already been taken by other people, granted at the moment its only a few very small things so not really a problem but if it carries on can see it leading to fall outs, or people just keeping there mouth shut which isnt really fair.
There is also the problem that one of my aunties was left a near brand new car worth 10k, and yet is still trying to ask for things out the house. Then we have my uncles wives kids eg not even blood relatives asking for things eg jewlery etc and him telling them yes they can have things.
My view is that people like the auntie who have already had a 10k car, and the kids that arent even part of the family should be told if theres anything left over at the end then they can see if theres anything they want, but how do you go about telling people that without causing a fall out, my dad will not do anything thats likely to cause a conflict, id probably be less forgiving..
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taylorboosh
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Registered: 3rd Apr 07
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leave it to your dad imo
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bubble
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Registered: 24th Jan 04
Location: Darwin, NT Australia.
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Sorry for your loss.
Hand over the control of the executor of the assets etc to a solicitor. Family squabbles over a deceased persons possessions is pathetic IMO.
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Steve
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Registered: 30th Mar 02
Location: Worcestershire Drives: Defender
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think is he wont say anything and it angers me when people start taking advantage of the situation
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Steve
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Registered: 30th Mar 02
Location: Worcestershire Drives: Defender
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quote:
Originally posted by bubble
Sorry for your loss.
Hand over the control of the executor of the assets etc to a solicitor. Family squabbles over a deceased persons possessions is pathetic IMO.
i might suggest that to him 
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bubble
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Registered: 24th Jan 04
Location: Darwin, NT Australia.
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quote:
Originally posted by Steve
quote:
Originally posted by bubble
Sorry for your loss.
Hand over the control of the executor of the assets etc to a solicitor. Family squabbles over a deceased persons possessions is pathetic IMO.
i might suggest that to him
We ended up doing this when my nan died, as we had cousins popping up who hadn't seen her in like over 10 years, but when they found out she was probably going to pass, they popped up. Initially my mum and aunties were managing , but the squabbles turned into nasty slanging matches all over possessions. I'm not sure who made the call to do it, but the solicitor eventually sorted it out, and based on testimony determined that the house was split between my mum and her closest sister. The other sisters who along with my cousins never saw my nan got pretty much nothing aside from some tat. Because nobody in our family made the decisions directly, it stopped the squabbles.
[Edited on 08-05-2012 by bubble]
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John
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Registered: 30th Jun 03
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I hate this.
If something has genuine sentimental value to someone then they should probably have it.
All of this trying to get as much money as you can when someone has died is horrible.
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baza31
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Registered: 19th Apr 03
Location: yorkshire
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Too late but all locks should have been changed . I'd of asked each member of immediate family to write down what they want .If the enter house I'd ring police. At the end of the day if he hasn't will'ed anything and asked your dad to sort it he clearly trusts ur dad more than the rest. Its when you get people like this that massive family arguments start
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JordyCarter
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Registered: 14th Mar 10
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Its a shame when people get like this over a dead relative imo
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Jas
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Registered: 13th Oct 04
Location: Mid Wales
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Sorry to hear that..
happened when I lost my gran parents.Out of £1million + in assets
My mum only asked for one thing which she never got. Ended in a court battle, my Nans husbands son who WASN'T in the will took it to court and ended up receiving something like 60k and cost almost that in court fees/solicitors
Disgusting.. he died of a heart attack about 5 years later.. 
cousins etc were snooping round the house looking for books which I had already taken not knowing the true value of, I just remember looking at them as a child. turns out each hand painted picture in the book is worth £70-100 
But they are sentimental to me so i've no interest in selling
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Daniel_Corsa
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Registered: 21st Apr 04
Location: Wigton, Cumbria
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We had similar but opposite way. Aunty was in charge of sorting house and belongings.
So people were asking for things, and she said no, such and such is getting those (none blood relatives)
We left her too it, and asked for nothing just took a small something from what was left!
Will be no pleasing everyone and the greedy people will show their true colours!
I'd hate to be in your dads position! Very unfriendly environment can be created within families.
Best to step back!
April '06' Corsasport Feature Car  | Aug '08' Total Vauxhall Feature Car | Spring '09' Fast Car Feature Car
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SetH
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Registered: 15th Jul 01
User status: Online
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So your Dad has been appointed executor but the rest of the family are ignoring his position and just wading into the house and helping themselves to shit willy nilly.
No offence but your Dad does not need a pissy spreadsheet he needs a backbone.
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Jas
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Registered: 13th Oct 04
Location: Mid Wales
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quote:
Originally posted by SetH
So your Dad has been appointed executor but the rest of the family are ignoring his position and just wading into the house and helping themselves to shit willy nilly.
No offence but your Dad does not need a pissy spreadsheet he needs a backbone.
I'd imagine its easier said than done when its family and every one is claiming that they want a sentimental item?
Personally I would tell them to fuck off, but everyone is different to be fair
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Jimbothebarbarian
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Registered: 19th Apr 07
Location: Cumbria..........drunk..
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Firstly sorry for your loss.
As legal executor of the will your dad had sole legal right to sorting this out but he must follow the will. If no will was made a simple dishing out of assets should follow.
Locks should be changed if people are helping themselves and ring the police as it is classed as theft as until the executor has given over any asset it is simply not for them to legally take.
If family are being silly simply ring a solicitor who will take the lot sell it and split the money evenly.
I have looked into all this because if the old dear dies before me she's put me down as executor  I might just pay a solicitor as I can't be arsed with the hassle.
Not looking forward to it TBH I have a family of vultures most of which haven't been seen for years but will no doubt appear like fucking bluebottles to a body.
Your Dad will be hated by all of them I'm sorry to say.
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Jas
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Registered: 13th Oct 04
Location: Mid Wales
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but like I mentioned above.. solicitor isn't always the best route.
Angers me, the persons wishes should be respected
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Generation
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Registered: 7th Jul 09
Location: Essex
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I was made executor a ear or so back, done it all mysel an sved big solicitor fees. Your dads in charge, and unless there are seperate wills for other people he should do as he decides.
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taylorboosh
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Registered: 3rd Apr 07
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He should sell stuff and buy you a trackday
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Gaz
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Registered: 24th Aug 03
Location: Widnes, Cheshire
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Firstly, sorry for your loss. At times like this the last thing you want is family arguments however this is the exact same scenario that happened to my grandad many years ago and it destroyed the family.
Greed and selfishness fuels today's world and sadly doesn't stop when family's have descions to be made like this.
I would personally suggest to leave it up to your dad, but keep his back, keep reassuring him that he's doing a good job and if he needs help or another set of eyes to run over his plans then you are there for him.
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Steve
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Registered: 30th Mar 02
Location: Worcestershire Drives: Defender
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Some interesting replies here, so far my dad has been pretty defensive over them saying that it doesnt matter etc, but tonight he seems a little agitated with them giving away things.
I think over the next day or two hes going to tighten things up, already hes agreeing that the kids of the mother who married into the family shouldnt have any say and left til the end if theres anything left over
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am4nf
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Registered: 27th Jul 08
Location: South Ayrshire Drives: Corsa Sport
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If I were you id personally do the locks and give your dad the key
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am4nf
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Registered: 27th Jul 08
Location: South Ayrshire Drives: Corsa Sport
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another thing is, it should be your papas children and only his children who get anything, then its up to the parents to give anything to the grandkids
It wouldnt be fair to split it down to grandchildren as that is an unfair divide, some can have more children than others...
EDIT: most importantly if more than one person wants an item, it should be sold and money split unless either agree to pay the other for it, if its sentimental to one of them and not the other.
[Edited on 08-05-2012 by am4nf]
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