SetH
Member
Registered: 15th Jul 01
User status: Offline
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ryzer
Member
Registered: 18th Mar 03
Location: Berkshire Drives:UGLY MUG
User status: Offline
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Oh hell no
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Gaz
Member
Registered: 24th Aug 03
Location: Widnes, Cheshire
User status: Offline
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Let's hope she doesn't come across the picture of him hanging out the back of her best mate.
If this wasn't done by the way then you fail as a CS member.
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stevenc89
Member
Registered: 6th Apr 09
Location: East Kilbride
User status: Offline
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quote:
Originally posted by Liam-Wilko
ring gone mate pawned in and money to one side for ether new motor or a holiday like 
good on you mate
time to move on!! enjoy your single days until mrs right comes along
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Eck
Premium Member
Registered: 17th Apr 06
Location: Lundin Links, Fife
User status: Offline
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quote:
Originally posted by ryzer
Oh hell no
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Lawrah
Premium Member
Registered: 25th Dec 04
User status: Offline
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The trick is to cut the emotional side of it completely out. Burds hate that anyway. It's only in 80s movies and the like that burds have emotions and stuff anyway. That's their greatest trick. And the fact that it's men making these movies and sending them out there, that it sends confusing signals to mankind. Learn all your moves from David Attenborough - not John Hughes. Use her for bucking. For practicising new tricks. It sounds like it wouldn't take much to make her get her freak on in the bedroom. All the while cultivate the emotional bond with a genuine burd - the type you wouldn't mind taking back to introduce to yer maw. Meanwhile, use this pony like she's been using you. Turn the tables on her, and use her purely as a saddle bag for which to practice yer, "Yeee haaa, 'Am yer da!" arse-slapping. Get some mirrors fitted on your ceiling. Invest in leopard-skin pants. You're going to have a party - and she's invited if she's lucky enough for you to ask her.
Of course she knows she's a dick. That's part of the thrill. Rag-dolling anyone who builds up an emotional connection to them. It gets her as wet as an otter's pocket knowing that she can pick up a phone, or send a simple text and you'll come calling. Turn the tables. Get her needy. Play on her insecurities, and have some fun doing it before she inevitably effs off to the big Amy Winehouse whorehouse in the sky. Do a line off her back. Slap her arse and confuse her by calling her "dad" in bed. Play around with her - and most of all, have fun. Sounds like you deserve it. And if, and the end of it all, she has some huge argument with her and says she never wants to see you again - result. Just shrug your shoulders and say, "I was great. You'll be back". 'Cos she will be. It'll be a late night text, or an email out the blue in 6 months time. But those sorts are always around. They never disappear. They need the attention. They hate being ignored. But do exactly that - ignore and deflect until the texts and emails become more explicit. Who needs a vague one-liner text at 3am one Saturday night to reply to - when you can just ignore it and wait for the more detailed two-liner a few months later that simply says, "Boaby! Gies yer boaby!".
She might have no rulebook. But she disnae need one. You see - it's your rulebook now. The police chief take your loaded weapon off you and confiscate your rusty sheriff's badge all she wants. But it'll be you throwing the rulebook at her face. And her cleavage. And the small of her back. And in her hair. And even all over her cat (even if she disnae hiv' one).
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Kerry
Member
Registered: 5th Oct 01
Location: Norwich
User status: Offline
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Dom
Member
Registered: 13th Sep 03
User status: Offline
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WOW 
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baza31
Member
Registered: 19th Apr 03
Location: yorkshire
User status: Offline
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if that wasnt a copy and paste i am shocked . Lawrah you fancy bit of roll play ill be your ex you havent seen for 6 months so i can bang your "rusty sheriffs badge" 
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Lawrah
Premium Member
Registered: 25th Dec 04
User status: Offline
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Of course it was a copy and paste, I thought it was hilarious and worked for this topic. There is more. The guy is just like Steve.
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Steve
Premium Member
Registered: 30th Mar 02
Location: Worcestershire Drives: Defender
User status: Offline
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Dom
Member
Registered: 13th Sep 03
User status: Offline
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Where is it a copypasta from?
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flybikeslee
Member
Registered: 2nd Jan 07
Location: Liverpool
User status: Offline
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quote:
Originally posted by Dom
Where is it a copypasta from?
the heart
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Lawrah
Premium Member
Registered: 25th Dec 04
User status: Offline
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I wouldn't completely cut off all ties with her just yet...
Sounds like she's the classic "mental burd, good shag". Those can come in useful. Play her at her own game. Get out there and build up a healthy pool of easy shags. The secret here is to have more than one egg in the basket. As we all know - too many eggs in the basket gathers no moss. Contact her only when you're feeling lonely, needy or horny. Make sure you have enough alternatives on the go, that you'll only reply positively to any requests she makes to meet up, when you have absolutely no alternatives or no-one else willing to sook yer stick. Girls hate that needy shyte; they love the stand-offish, aloof arsehole types. When you do meet up with her - do it all on your terms. Tell her where to meet, when, and what you'll do when you do meet up. Don't give her an option or an option. She should be grateful you've taken time out of your hectic shagging calendar to spend time with her.
Similarly, don't give her any say of if/when you're going to pump her. The only reason she contacted you was because she wants a length, and none of her alternatives were available. You see what's happening here? Eh? That's right - now you've joined the game! So, act aloof. Act as though you've come to meet her, but you're kinda busy so you're not sure how long you can hang around for. Check your phone periodically, and say, "Sorry? What was that?". This is especially effective when she wisnae even talking in the first place. Ask her to "hang on a minute" - then do whatever you feel like doing. Scratch yourself, stare at a squirrel running up a tree, peel the skin off a banana. Whatever you want. Then say to her, "Ok - you can continue". Again, this is especially effective when she wasn't saying anything in the first place.
When you eventually get down to it - don't be shy. She has terrible low self-esteem and an interest in watching herself during sex. That's about as perfect a combination as you can get in a wummin when it comes to banging. Perhaps throw in some veiled comments about her uneasy relationship with her father - and stand back and watch those sexy sparks flash off your sexy love javelin. Push the boundaries in bed. Just see exactly where she's willing to put that tongue. You'd be surprised. Put it this way - she's probably had it worse places. So might as well see if she's put it "there".
Afterwards, don't talk. The only conversation at this point should involve questions along the lines of, "Where should I throw this?", "That was better", and "You can lie on the wet bit". No cuddling, no hugging. No conversation. Spark up a cigarette. Again - especially effective if you don't actually smoke. If she has a pet - or even if there is some wildlife nearby at, perhaps, a window or door - let it sniff your hand, then gently whisper to the beast, "Smell yer maw!". If she asks, "What did you just say?" reply, "Nothing sweetcheeks". And knowingly nod at her. Then get up and start putting on your clothes. Don't announce anything. Don't tell her you're going, or where you're going. If she says anything or asks anything, just say, "I have to go". Another knowing nod is optional at this point. On your way out the door, feel free to point at whatever creature it was you let sniff yer haun, and proclaim, "I am Adam, Prince of Eternia", then while still pointing at the creature (especially effective if a domestic cat), say, "This is Cringer - my fearless friend". Knowing nod at it, then her, then back at the beast again... and depart.
Repeat this cycle over and over until she is gone out of your mind forever. If symptoms persist for more than 3 months - go see your doctor.
You're welcome.
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Ste
Premium Member
Registered: 5th Mar 03
Location: Taif, Saudi Arabia
User status: Offline
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Fucking LOL. You're bonkers wummin
I would rather lose by a mile because i built my own car, than win by an inch because someone else built it for me.
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Joe
Member
Registered: 20th Jun 04
Location: Hesketh Bank, Lancashire
User status: Offline
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Any updates from shep on all this?
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Ian W
Member
Registered: 8th Nov 03
Location: Wirral, Merseyside
User status: Offline
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That's brilliant
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jamied
Member
Registered: 27th Oct 03
Location: Marbella,Spain Drives: C63
User status: Offline
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pmsl i thought WTF
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Nath
Member
Registered: 3rd Apr 02
Location: MK
User status: Offline
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quote:
Originally posted by flybikeslee
quote:
Originally posted by Dom
Where is it a copypasta from?
the heart
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