stubbsy05
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Registered: 23rd Oct 02
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A few of you may have seen my post earlier in the week where my girlfriend had said that she didnt feel we were close anymore and not sure if she still loves me.
She came over last night and we talked things through. I'm 24 and she is 21, and we have been living together for the last 3 years. Over the last year we have gradually grown apart I guess, and I've been doing more things with my mates and she's been seeing her mates more etc. Rewinding a month ago I remember me saying to her that we hardly spend quality time together, and it was just starting to feel like we were friends living together. Theres no other blokes involved which is good in a way.
She has moved back to her dads now and taken her stuff. Just got a few things to pick up which we will sort through on Friday when she comes round.
Sounds wierd but it feel better now I know where I stand, and am not hanging on wondering if theres a future for us or not. At least I can sort my shit out and plan my year ahead!
I think it will hit her in the next few weeks of not seeing me/sleeping alone etc. Never know we might get back together if its meant to be! We have both said we're not going to be hasty and just get with anyone who comes along just to be spiteful.
I think the hardest thing to get used to is all the spare time I now have! God knows what I'm gonna do to fill it! Oh and of course it feels horrible not having someone there for you, but I guess it makes you stronger.
Feels wierd to be single at 24, but I guess I'm not to old to play the field!
[Edited on 19-03-2009 by stubbsy05]
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Ben J
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Registered: 31st Jan 05
Location: Cheshire
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You are still young! New start for you. Think of all the casual sex you can have.
[Edited on 19-03-2009 by Ben J]
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Neo
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Registered: 20th Feb 07
Location: Essex
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Get out and make the most of the time
Dont think about the past, just have an ace year with your mates 
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C2RL R
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Registered: 28th Mar 02
Location: Redcliffe, QLD
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if you're too old then there's no hope for me mate. keep your chin up and go out for a laugh for a few months.
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liamC
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Registered: 28th Feb 04
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Sorry to hear that.
pics?
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Aaron
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Registered: 9th Aug 04
Location: Cottingham, East Riding
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If i can give you any advice.....its "dont ever go back"
Hard times. Keep yourself busy.
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XSIHardy
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Registered: 5th Feb 08
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quote:
Originally posted by liamC
Sorry to hear that.
pics?
Theres always some one
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Brett
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Registered: 16th Dec 02
Location: Manchester
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quote:
Originally posted by Aaron
If i can give you any advice.....its "dont ever go back"
Agreed. There's no way I'd be goin back after she'd broke it off.
You said it yourself, it's felt like you're two mates living together for a while. Once you're with someone else who it works with, you won't look back I'm sure.
Next few weeks at least will certainly be weird tho 
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stubbsy05
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Registered: 23rd Oct 02
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quote:
Originally posted by Aaron
If i can give you any advice.....its "dont ever go back"
Hard times. Keep yourself busy.
Really? I think 4 years of being together and living together to not being with each other at all will hit her in a couple of weeks.
If its meant to be its meant to be. If we did ever get back I'd start from the beginning, i.e. she didn't move back to my house etc
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Neo
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Registered: 20th Feb 07
Location: Essex
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Well yeah, and everything runs on your terms, pointing out she was foolish enough to let go of you, now she's gotta regain your trust if she wants it to work
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Kyle T
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Registered: 11th Sep 04
Location: Selby, North Yorkshire
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I think it's unfair to say 'never go back' even if it feels like the right thing to do, as they didn't split on any bad terms (cheating, argument, etc).
A break might be the best thing for your relationship, but don't count on it and get disappointed if it never works out again!
Lotus Elise 111R
Impreza WRX STi
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Aaron
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Registered: 9th Aug 04
Location: Cottingham, East Riding
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quote:
Originally posted by Kyle T
I think it's unfair to say 'never go back' even if it feels like the right thing to do, as they didn't split on any bad terms (cheating, argument, etc).
A break might be the best thing for your relationship, but don't count on it and get disappointed if it never works out again!
I don’t want to get into an argument or anything.....but I don’t agree with what you say one bit.
A "break" in a relationship pretty always ends up with a "breakup". Why if a couple are so "perfect" for each other do they need a break in the first place? I'm only calling on my own experiences here....and also what I’ve seen and heard many other go through.
I’d say that 95% of the time, when a relationship gets to the stage that this poor guys has.....they never work out.
[Edited on 19-03-2009 by Aaron]
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Half Pint
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Registered: 25th Mar 02
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you say that there are alot of people who break and get back together months and years later. its just about people growing up and wanting different things in life. at this point in time they have done the best thing and been really reasonable about each others feelings etc.... if they are meant to be then it will happen.
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stubbsy05
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Registered: 23rd Oct 02
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It is wierd, as we had never ever had an argument which resulted in one of us storming out the house, or going to spend the night a parents.
She genuinely doesn't know what she wants and I can see that.
I'm going out Fri night with the lads and clubbing with them Sat night so that should be good.
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Half Pint
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Registered: 25th Mar 02
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just watch out for those stray bullets.... waking up in the morning next to one is not the best...
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stubbsy05
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Registered: 23rd Oct 02
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quote:
Originally posted by Half Pint
just watch out for those stray bullets.... waking up in the morning next to one is not the best...
Indeed. wasn't too bad today and yesterday but the days before were a killer. Straight up at 6am and there was no one to lie in with!
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mwg
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Registered: 19th Feb 04
Location: South Lakes
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I'd sort of agree about the dont go back thing. I have done a couple of times and it hasn't worked so far. And I dont personally know anyone that its worked out for doing that either! Doesn't mean it wouldn't work for you though.
One of the times I remember thinking I really wanna be back with her cos I miss everything loads but when I did get back with her it wasn't as good as I remember it being! And I remembered exactly why we split up the last time! I think you remember things as being nicer than they were and until you've had a break from it then gone back you dont realise it wasn't quite as rosey as you first thought! Hope that makes sense!
You will be ok mate.
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Jamescorsa97
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Registered: 19th Aug 04
Location: Middlesbrough Drives: Cliosport 182
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quote:
Originally posted by Aaron
quote:
Originally posted by Kyle T
I think it's unfair to say 'never go back' even if it feels like the right thing to do, as they didn't split on any bad terms (cheating, argument, etc).
A break might be the best thing for your relationship, but don't count on it and get disappointed if it never works out again!
I don’t want to get into an argument or anything.....but I don’t agree with what you say one bit.
A "break" in a relationship pretty always ends up with a "breakup". Why if a couple are so "perfect" for each other do they need a break in the first place? I'm only calling on my own experiences here....and also what I’ve seen and heard many other go through.
I’d say that 95% of the time, when a relationship gets to the stage that this poor guys has.....they never work out.
[Edited on 19-03-2009 by Aaron]
Amen brother.
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stubbsy05
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Registered: 23rd Oct 02
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Cheers Matty
How old are you?
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willay
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Organiser: South East, National Events
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Registered: 10th Nov 02
Location: Roydon, Essex
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i agree with the break is a split thing, its hard to gain trust with someone again after they have left you down so bad.
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mwg
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Registered: 19th Feb 04
Location: South Lakes
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quote:
Originally posted by stubbsy05
Cheers Matty
How old are you?
I'm 24. Still plenty of time to find a lass and settle down and all that gubbins 
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Kevxx
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Registered: 14th May 08
Location: Forfar, Angus
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everytime i come on this site ....
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Butler
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Registered: 2nd Jun 05
Location: London
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I used to live with my girlfriend, hardest part was moving all her stuff out, really hit home then. So many old memories. Its got to be for the best though mate, it can only get better.
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JadeM
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Registered: 9th Feb 06
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Taking a break doesn't necessarily mean its the end!!
All relationships have their ups and downs. It sounds like you've got into a rut (not doing stuff as a couple etc anymore) which can so easily happen, and some time apart might do you both the world of good!! Gives both of you time alone to work out what's been going wrong and what you both really want.
It looks like your both being sensible about it, you've sat down and discussed it and hopefully taken on board whats been going wrong? I don't know why so many folk on here are ripping into her - she's been honest and admitted she's not sure how she feels anymore, so taking that into account what else is she supposed to do? Just string him along thinking everything is hunky dory? 
Hope everything works out ok for you both 
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stubbsy05
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Registered: 23rd Oct 02
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Thanks Jade
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