Whittie
Member
Registered: 11th Aug 06
Location: North Wales Drives: BMW, Corsa & Fiat
User status: Offline
|
Heard a funny one yesterday 
A carpenter, who was called ray, was working in a mansion. He was known to be quite dodgy... wired a light to his garage from a street light... that kind of bloke.
Anyway, the job in the mansion was to replace all 20 doors, with solid oaks, all plain, nothing special... but very expensive. The hinges etc were all put on, and most doors were put on in day#1.
Day #2 comes, he turns up and the owner said, my bloody doors have been nicked, the 6 outside and the rest that were on the hinges (he wasn't living on site). Anyway Ray said he'd order some new ones if he wanted.... owner agreed as there was nothing he could do, didn;t have house insurance either due to not living in the property yet. So Ray turns up wih the doors, all hinges ready cut and puts them in 1 by 1 in record time. Gets paid XX for the 2 days work and for the extra doors Made me laugh anyway!
What stories have you lot got... no bullshit, makes them more interesting!
[Edited on 02-12-2010 by Whittie]
|
Ojc
Member
Registered: 14th Nov 00
Location: Reading: Drives : Clio 197
User status: Offline
|
Only that my mate was working in Lambourne which is full of pikey cunts, he was up on the roof of this particular house and the neighbours were shooting at him with an air rifle.
Then this little lad about 6-7 years old who lived in the same house, my mate asked him where his grandad was and he said straight faced "down in the shed shagging the dogs"
|
Whittie
Member
Registered: 11th Aug 06
Location: North Wales Drives: BMW, Corsa & Fiat
User status: Offline
|
Mate, "Ray" in the story above is from Lambourne, and the mansion was about 5 miles from there
Never heard of that place untill yesterday.
|
Gary
Premium Member
Registered: 22nd Nov 06
Location: West Yorkshire
User status: Offline
|
quote:
Originally posted by Ojc
Only that my mate was working in Lambourne which is full of pikey cunts, he was up on the roof of this particular house and the neighbours were shooting at him with an air rifle.
Lol.
Mate fo mine was workong on a site once ina bad area and was briefed when he arrived on site as usual. Was told not to look up (was next to a tower block) as folk throw shit at the workers and if he heard a bang to just duck and run!
|
Whittie
Member
Registered: 11th Aug 06
Location: North Wales Drives: BMW, Corsa & Fiat
User status: Offline
|
^ I remember scholes saying that in the pub
|
Gary
Premium Member
Registered: 22nd Nov 06
Location: West Yorkshire
User status: Offline
|
quote:
Originally posted by Whittie
^ I remember scholes saying that in the pub
Sounds about right. He's always getting sent near pikeys etc.
Was Gouldy that was on that site tho.
|
Whittie
Member
Registered: 11th Aug 06
Location: North Wales Drives: BMW, Corsa & Fiat
User status: Offline
|
Ahhh, fair enough. Is he still in that nursing home place now?
|
Gary
Premium Member
Registered: 22nd Nov 06
Location: West Yorkshire
User status: Offline
|
quote:
Originally posted by Whittie
Ahhh, fair enough. Is he still in that nursing home place now?
Nope. Doing some course at College. Working for some plumbing firm as well tho.
Never see him. Always at his missus house in Mexborugh (south yorks)
|
Whittie
Member
Registered: 11th Aug 06
Location: North Wales Drives: BMW, Corsa & Fiat
User status: Offline
|
He still with that small bird?
|
Gary
Premium Member
Registered: 22nd Nov 06
Location: West Yorkshire
User status: Offline
|
quote:
Originally posted by Whittie
He still with that small bird?
Naaa, shes a mental case, lives with scholseys sister now. He's got a new bird who drives a Saxo yO!
|
Ojc
Member
Registered: 14th Nov 00
Location: Reading: Drives : Clio 197
User status: Offline
|
Lambourne is fucking weird place. You kinda drive out of Reading, hit Wantage then drive a bit further out and all of a sudden this little village comes out of nowhere and everybody looks inbred.
|
Whittie
Member
Registered: 11th Aug 06
Location: North Wales Drives: BMW, Corsa & Fiat
User status: Offline
|
quote:
Originally posted by Ojc
Lambourne is fucking weird place. You kinda drive out of Reading, hit Wantage then drive a bit further out and all of a sudden this little village comes out of nowhere and everybody looks inbred.
Some Irish guy burnt his pub down, which was joined to another pub there years ago too aparently
|
Ojc
Member
Registered: 14th Nov 00
Location: Reading: Drives : Clio 197
User status: Offline
|
Its so weird, a lot of single mothers get sent out there.
|
C2RL R
Member
Registered: 28th Mar 02
Location: Redcliffe, QLD
User status: Offline
|
Was working with my dad years ago fitting some railings on site. It starting hail stoning really badly so we jumped in his van for 2 mins. We left the generator running at the back of the van but heard it cut out. I reached into the back to grab the fuel can and went to fill the genny up but it wasn't there! Some pikey twats must have robbed it in the time it took me to get there which was about 20 seconds! It was a heavy bastard too so they must have had a van but we didn't see a thing.
|
Whittie
Member
Registered: 11th Aug 06
Location: North Wales Drives: BMW, Corsa & Fiat
User status: Offline
|
|
Robo C20Let
Member
Registered: 22nd Feb 10
Location: Somewhere inside your mom !!!
User status: Offline
|
was traveling in the van with dad a few years back.
we were on the motorway in the middle of france traveling down to our house. we only went in the van because we had loads of stuff to take out
anyway we had a stair case on the roof and we went round a sharp turn off the motorway and next thing we knew up on two wheels
dad was a driving legend that day managed to hold it and must have done 30m on two wheels luckily the road went straight and we had to clean up lol as we shit ourselves haha
|
AK
Member
Registered: 5th Jul 00
Location: Aberdeen City
User status: Offline
|
A mansion called Ray?
Or the guy was called Ray?!!
|
Whittie
Member
Registered: 11th Aug 06
Location: North Wales Drives: BMW, Corsa & Fiat
User status: Offline
|
What are you on about Adam 
|
AK
Member
Registered: 5th Jul 00
Location: Aberdeen City
User status: Offline
|
|
sand-eel
Member
Registered: 15th Mar 07
Location: carluke/braidwood--IRNBRULAND
User status: Offline
|
I know this guy that is probably the most stupid man on the planet.
He was working on the island of Gigha doing a plumbing job on a house, for some reason he thought this massive industrial "stopcock" outside was for the house so turned it and managed to dump the whole islands water supply into the sea It took 2-3months to fill back up 
Another one was he was working in a loft at a hotel and decided to step in between the rafters (where you don't step on) to test if it could take his weight.....It did not take his weight and he went through the roof at a conference
Another was when we were in a boat in rough seas fishing and I was driving the boat and at this point turning into the waves, what he did was decided to cast out the side the way I was turning so his line got jammed in the prop and the engine cut out, then we nearly had a heart attack trying to cut this fucking line whilst drifting into some rocks, got the engine started with about 5 meters of space before we would have hit.
Oh and he managed to do a 180 and crashed backwards into a wall in a 40zone on a straight piece of road, we still don't know till this day how he managed it
|
XE Col
Premium Member
Registered: 23rd May 10
Location: Rochdale, AKA:Boissy07
User status: Offline
|
is this guy you know called will doyle
|
sand-eel
Member
Registered: 15th Mar 07
Location: carluke/braidwood--IRNBRULAND
User status: Offline
|
Craig Samborek
|
sand-eel
Member
Registered: 15th Mar 07
Location: carluke/braidwood--IRNBRULAND
User status: Offline
|
...or shambollock as he is known
...or captain butt fuck.
|
adiohead
Member
Registered: 28th Sep 01
User status: Offline
|
a guy from my school wanked his dog off
|
Crana
Member
Registered: 20th Jan 09
Location: Newcastle
User status: Offline
|
Few people have told me they own a standard c20xe with 165bhp? pub talk
|
