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Author I need a joke for an 8 year old...
stan_the_man
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Registered: 14th Feb 07
Location: Perth, Western Australia
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4th Dec 13 at 10:47   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote
For a mates kids school project.

He has to stand up infront of his class and tell a joke.

All i can think of are horrible ones.

Think along the lines of 'what is a.....? What did the.....? How many.....?' Etc etc

GO!
JonnyJ
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Registered: 23rd Sep 05
Location: Scotchland
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4th Dec 13 at 10:51   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote
What did Jimmy Saville look forward to most on Top of the Pops?

The new entries.
3CorsaMeal
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Registered: 11th Apr 02
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4th Dec 13 at 10:53   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote
How come Santa has no children?

He only cums once a year and thats down the chimney.
JonnyJ
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Location: Scotchland
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4th Dec 13 at 10:54   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote
May as well rename this thread "sickest jokes for an 8 year old to tell" with the way this is going to go
Munchie
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Registered: 17th Jul 01
Location: I swap goats for mobile phones
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4th Dec 13 at 10:58   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote
What fish sings?



A Tuna
Balling
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Registered: 7th Apr 04
Location: Denmark
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4th Dec 13 at 10:58   View Garage View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote
How many midgets does it take to change a lightbulb?
One with a step-ladder. They're short, not stupid.

Have you heard about the dyslexic satanist?
Sold his soul to Santa.

A man walks into a seafood shop carrying a trout under his arm.
"Do you make fish cakes?"
"Yes we do" replies the fishmonger...
"Great" says the man "it's his birthday"
^ Actually made me



spencer88
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Registered: 6th Oct 08
Location: cornwall
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4th Dec 13 at 11:16   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote
Two sausages in a pan.

One turns to the other and says: " Getting a bit hot in here isn't it"

The other replies: " Argghhhhh, a talking sausage"
_Allan_
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Registered: 24th Mar 04
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4th Dec 13 at 11:17   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote
How do you get Pikachu on a bus?

Pokemon.
spencer88
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Registered: 6th Oct 08
Location: cornwall
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4th Dec 13 at 11:17   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote
Two monkeys in a bath.

One says: "Eww ahhh eww ahhh"

The second replies: " Well put some cold in then if it's too hot"
spencer88
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Registered: 6th Oct 08
Location: cornwall
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4th Dec 13 at 11:18   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote
What's worse than getting raped by Jack the Ripper?

Getting fingered by Captain Hook.
JonnyJ
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Registered: 23rd Sep 05
Location: Scotchland
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4th Dec 13 at 11:18   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote
quote:
Originally posted by spencer88
Two monkeys in a bath.

One says: "Eww ahhh eww ahhh"

The second replies: " Well put some cold in then if it's too hot"


Racist.
micra_pete
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Registered: 23rd Apr 03
Location: West Yorkshire
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4th Dec 13 at 11:32   View Garage View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote
quote:
Originally posted by _Allan_
How do you get Pikachu on a bus?

Pokemon.


Love that joke.
stan_the_man
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Registered: 14th Feb 07
Location: Perth, Western Australia
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4th Dec 13 at 12:06   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote
Some good ones! Thanks!

Any more?
Balling
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Registered: 7th Apr 04
Location: Denmark
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4th Dec 13 at 12:07   View Garage View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote
http://www.reddit.com/r/jokes
nathy_87
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Registered: 14th Aug 08
Location: West Mids. Drives: Škoda Fabia VRS 5J
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4th Dec 13 at 12:34   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote
Boy 1: I didn't know your Mum had 2 cunts.

Boy 2: She hasn't.

Boy 1: She has, I'm talking to one of them now.



[Edited on 04-12-2013 by nathy_87]
Kyle T
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Registered: 11th Sep 04
Location: Selby, North Yorkshire
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4th Dec 13 at 12:55   View Garage View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote
Bought my wife a new fridge the other day.

Should have seen her face light up when she opened the door.

Lotus Elise 111R

Impreza WRX STi
evilrob
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Registered: 16th Mar 12
Location: Your mum's house
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4th Dec 13 at 13:04   View Garage View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote
What's brown and sticky?

Muhammad Ali opening a can of coke.
scotty GTE
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Registered: 2nd Dec 09
Location: Oban Scotland
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4th Dec 13 at 13:17   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote
What do you call an exploding Monkey?

A baboom! One of the few jokes that makes me laugh which isn't totally offensive or sick
Bart
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Registered: 19th Aug 02
Location: Midsomer Norton, Bristol Avon
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4th Dec 13 at 13:46   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote
Whats E.T short for?


Cos he's got little legs


Dom
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Registered: 13th Sep 03
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4th Dec 13 at 13:54   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote
What's red and smells of blue paint?
Red paint!


What's pink and fluffy?
Pink fluff!


What's blue and fluffy?
Pink fluff holding its breath!
thegsi
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Registered: 3rd Feb 07
Location: Kidderminster Drives: Evo (you can't afford one)
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4th Dec 13 at 14:41   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote
Did you hear about the goldfish that went bankrupt?

Now he's a bronze fish
aj80
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Registered: 23rd Nov 13
Location: Chesterton, Staffordshire
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4th Dec 13 at 14:45   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote
Fhm ask jimmy saville what was his grooming tips he replies haribo and smarties
aj80
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Registered: 23rd Nov 13
Location: Chesterton, Staffordshire
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4th Dec 13 at 14:46   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote
What Maggie thatcher and jimmy Saville got in common.
they both screwed minors in the 80s
aj80
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Registered: 23rd Nov 13
Location: Chesterton, Staffordshire
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4th Dec 13 at 14:50   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote
Bear and a rabbit standing in the woods
bear says to the rabbit "do you have problems with shit sticking to your fur"
rabbit replies "no why"
so the bear wipes his arse with the rabbit
Paul_J
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Registered: 6th Jun 02
Location: London
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4th Dec 13 at 14:51   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote
An old lady at the bank asked me if I could help her check her balance. So I pushed her over.

-----------

A man goes to the doctor for his annual check-up, and the doctor tells him, "You need to stop masturbating."

The man asks, "Why?"

The doctor replies, "Because I'm trying to examine you"

------

Why don't blind people skydive?

It scares the hell out of the dog.

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