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Author Post your favourite Chuck Norris facts
gianluigi
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25th May 06 at 12:55   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote
Chuck Norris doesn't actually write books, the words assemble themselves out of fear.

excellent
gianluigi
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25th May 06 at 12:56   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote
Chuck Norris CAN believe it's not butter.
Edd
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25th May 06 at 12:56   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Ally
I thought he was the guy off Tool Time but Richie laughed at me when i said that



pmsl
Lawrah
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25th May 06 at 12:56   View Garage View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote
Two wrongs don't make a right. Unless you're Chuck Norris. Then two wrongs make a roundhouse kick to the face.
--Dave--
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25th May 06 at 12:56   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote
Chuck Norris doesn't read books, he stares at them until he gets the information he needs
Lawrah
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25th May 06 at 12:57   View Garage View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote
Chuck Norris does not dance. He roundhouse kicks to the beat.
--Dave--
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25th May 06 at 12:59   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote
The leading causes of death in the United States are: 1. Heart Disease 2. Chuck Norris 3. Cancer
Edd
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25th May 06 at 13:00   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote
The chief export of Chuck Norris is Pain.
--Dave--
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25th May 06 at 13:00   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote
Count from one to ten. That's how long it would take Chuck Norris to kill you...Fourty seven times.
gianluigi
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25th May 06 at 13:00   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote
Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.
Edd
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25th May 06 at 13:00   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote
Chuck Norris has two speeds. Walk, and Kill.
Edd
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25th May 06 at 13:01   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote
There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of animals Chuck Norris allows to live.
gianluigi
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25th May 06 at 13:01   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote
Chuck Norris and Mr. T walked into a bar. The bar was instantly destroyed, as that level of awesome cannot be contained in one building.

--Dave--
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25th May 06 at 13:01   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote
They were going to release a Chuck Norris edition of Cluedo, but the answer always turns out to be "Chuck Norris. In The Library. With a Roundhouse Kick."
Edd
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25th May 06 at 13:01   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote
There is no chin under Chuck Norris' Beard. There is only another fist.
Lawrah
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25th May 06 at 13:02   View Garage View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote
Chuck Norris speaks in all caps.
--Dave--
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25th May 06 at 13:02   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote
Chuck Norris wipes his ass with chain mail and sandpaper.
--Dave--
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25th May 06 at 13:03   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote
When you play Monopoly with Chuck Norris, you do not pass go, and you do not collect two hundred dollars. You will be lucky if you make it out alive.
Edd
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25th May 06 at 13:03   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote
Mr. T pities the fool. Chuck Norris rips the fool's fucking head off.
--Dave--
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25th May 06 at 13:03   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote
Chuck Norris once got into a fight with a one-armed Ninja. Seeing that he had an unfair advantage, Chuck Norris ripped both of his arms off and one of his legs. He then roundhouse-kicked the ninja in the head, killing him instantly, and proceeded to sow his limbs back on using only a rusty tent spike and bailing wire.

PMSL
Lawrah
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25th May 06 at 13:03   View Garage View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote
One night Mr. T took a 9 p.m. train home. He still wont give it back.
--Dave--
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25th May 06 at 13:04   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote
Most people know that Descarte said, "I think, therefore I am." What most people don't know is that that quote continues, "...afraid of Chuck Norris."
gianluigi
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25th May 06 at 13:05   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote
If Chuck Norris is running late, time better slow the fuck down
--Dave--
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25th May 06 at 13:07   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote
Chuck Norris invented all 32 letters of the alphabet
Lawrah
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25th May 06 at 13:07   View Garage View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote
Chuck Norris once played Russian roulette with a fully load gun and won.

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