Daveskater
Premium Member
Registered: 29th Apr 08
Location: Oxford, UK Drives: Jap wagon
User status: Offline
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If you can live with the disappointment then go for it 
Numberwang!
Originally posted by AlunJ
I like you Dave, you are a man of men
Originally Whatapp'd by Neo
Dave's maybe capable of a drive-by cuddle
Look at my pictures
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Jenko_Sport
Member
Registered: 25th May 06
Location: Stoke-on-Trent
User status: Offline
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Id be happy with 110bhp tbh
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Daveskater
Premium Member
Registered: 29th Apr 08
Location: Oxford, UK Drives: Jap wagon
User status: Offline
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quote:
Originally posted by Jenko_Sport
Id be happy with 11bhp tbh
Anywho, work time 
Numberwang!
Originally posted by AlunJ
I like you Dave, you are a man of men
Originally Whatapp'd by Neo
Dave's maybe capable of a drive-by cuddle
Look at my pictures
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willay
Moderator
Organiser: South East, National Events
Premium Member
Registered: 10th Nov 02
Location: Roydon, Essex
User status: Offline
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yes Dave, the polo is horrible 
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Conway563
Member
Registered: 7th Jun 06
Location: Yate, Bristol
User status: Offline
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Good luck today WAGER 
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willay
Moderator
Organiser: South East, National Events
Premium Member
Registered: 10th Nov 02
Location: Roydon, Essex
User status: Offline
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ssshhh 
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Chris x
Member
Registered: 11th Sep 08
Location: Bexhill
User status: Offline
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Snow here! 
Off to Uni now! If I wasnt geting payed to go, I would so have the day off!
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Conway563
Member
Registered: 7th Jun 06
Location: Yate, Bristol
User status: Offline
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Sorry, I'll be quiet
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willay
Moderator
Organiser: South East, National Events
Premium Member
Registered: 10th Nov 02
Location: Roydon, Essex
User status: Offline
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I will fuck anything. Take off my glasses and it's just a blob of color.
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Conway563
Member
Registered: 7th Jun 06
Location: Yate, Bristol
User status: Offline
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quote:
Originally posted by willay
I will fuck anything. Take off my glasses and it's just a blob of color.
Is Fad posting under your name Will?
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willay
Moderator
Organiser: South East, National Events
Premium Member
Registered: 10th Nov 02
Location: Roydon, Essex
User status: Offline
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imagine
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willay
Moderator
Organiser: South East, National Events
Premium Member
Registered: 10th Nov 02
Location: Roydon, Essex
User status: Offline
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I moved in with my female friend. Amazing apartment downtown. On the first weekend, I head out to the bars with my friends. I was plastered and ended up at the same bar mentioned in my last story.
Ended up hooking up with this hideous girl. Fat girl, yellow teeth, unkempt hair, all around gross. So we walk outside and make out in the alley like classy people. We were out there for a while and my buddies all left. I end up seeing my buddy's brother right before the blackout.
I wake up with a splitting headache and move to get out of bed. My leg brushes up another hairy leg. I lift up the blanket and see a chili pepper tattoo split by a stretch mark. Fuck.
I hear my roommate in the other room and don't want her to see the hose beast so I lay there in total silence. Finally I hear the shower running. I wake her up, get dressed and run to the car. My passenger side door wasn't working, so she had to crawl past the pricker bush to get in my backseat.
I drive her home, and she goes to give me a kiss, but I turn away and just say "Adios!" She hops out, I race home, and walk through the door to be confronted by my roommate. She heard everything last night and said she had never seen me as a sexual person before.
So I just woke up next to Jabba and my roommate tells me she thought I was asexual. I scrub off the shame in the shower and start drinking early.
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Conway563
Member
Registered: 7th Jun 06
Location: Yate, Bristol
User status: Offline
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Oh how I love your tales WAGER
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Colin
Member
Registered: 4th Apr 02
User status: Offline
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Morning
Not sure what today's activities consist of, still got unpacking to do but I cant really be arsed!!
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Planty02
Member
Registered: 5th Mar 05
Location: Burslem, Stoke-on-Trent
User status: Offline
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Morning
New tyre day 
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Conway563
Member
Registered: 7th Jun 06
Location: Yate, Bristol
User status: Offline
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Colin. I've only recently finished unpacking and moved in at the start of November
Ian
[Edited on 18-12-2009 by Conway563]
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willay
Moderator
Organiser: South East, National Events
Premium Member
Registered: 10th Nov 02
Location: Roydon, Essex
User status: Offline
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quote:
Originally posted by Conway563
Oh how I love your tales WAGER
I fucked her guys. Took a few to many shots, a few to many beers, oh it was a fun night.
But my bros let me go back alone. I got off the bus, and the horrors of teenage hormones got me to think she was hot. She grabbed my hand. "Ha, ha, ha" she giggled as we walked to my dorm together. The spins combined with a low tolerance and a loathing-of-self made me think it was a good idea. I couldn't even swipe into my dorm, she had to handle it. I think, even in my stupor, I caught one good look of her eyes. It's a look that will be forever burned into my memory. She knew she was taking advantage of me.
I stumbled up a few floors and made a few turns. I was in her room, her domain. "Where is your roomate?" was probably the last sensible thing I asked. She laughed again, that cold, dark cackle that knew she had gotten what she wanted. The lights went off, and I had a momentary respite as the room had stopped spinning.
Bam! I hit my head on her bed frame. She grabbed me by the throat, and climbed on top of me. Bumpy, greasy skin meshed up against me. I couldn't help it, my hands grabbed her lumpy flesh and I proceeded to make out with her. Her breath was like stale bread mixed with that taste with you get in your mouth if you have a sinus infection. Her tongue was like a demon, probing, attacking me. I couldn't stop it. My limbs didn't listen to me.
Oof! I was hit in the head by her stomach. Flop, flop, flop. My belt flew off. "You aren't getting to fuck me.." she teased. I prayed to God it was more than just pillow talk. Please, dear God.
She flipped me on top. I tried to escape, I swear I did, but I couldn't work my legs. The taste of cheap vodka ran up my throat. I could feel her pull me in. Involuntarily I was pulled into her. Oh, no, no no. I felt my manhood enter her. It was like poison, and the acidity of her femininity took a layer of skin off me. I could feel warts forming, oh dear God.
I prayed to God that he would end it, but every time I tried to get away she pulled me back to her. I felt the oil on my body, the cheese that formed underneath her numerous flaps. Then, I saw my chance at escape. It wallowed within me. That fire, that same fire that had gotten me here. I took it, guys. I induced my vomiting on her, and let it go. It was like a rocket, I swear, a glorious rocket as I covered her in my swamp-like emissions. I pulled out, and in her shock she screamed. I knew it was my chance. Though incoherently drunk, I sprinted towards the door. Fuck my pants, fuck my phone, fuck my wallet.. I need to get out of here.
She beat me there. I think I stumbled to much. Even in the darkness of night I could see my vomit reflecting by the dim moonlight off of her XXL t-shirt. She stared me down, and with those eyes said to me, "Where are you going, baby? This is no big deal." She pushed me down and I fell on the ground. I prayed more than I ever had before.
She had won. Completely, she had won. I couldn't form words, I couldn't work my mouth.
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Conway563
Member
Registered: 7th Jun 06
Location: Yate, Bristol
User status: Offline
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F
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Tommy L
Member
Registered: 21st Aug 06
Location: Northampton Drives: Audi wagon
User status: Offline
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That was a fun drive to work 1hr 15 mins
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Conway563
Member
Registered: 7th Jun 06
Location: Yate, Bristol
User status: Offline
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Tom
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willay
Moderator
Organiser: South East, National Events
Premium Member
Registered: 10th Nov 02
Location: Roydon, Essex
User status: Offline
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quote:
Originally posted by corsa_tomtom
That was a fun drive to work 1hr 15 mins
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Fro
Member
Registered: 20th Jun 06
Location: Rainham, Essex Drives: A3 2.0TDi Sport
User status: Offline
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Morning.
First day back at work, 133 emails to go through
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Tommy L
Member
Registered: 21st Aug 06
Location: Northampton Drives: Audi wagon
User status: Offline
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quote:
Originally posted by willay
quote:
Originally posted by corsa_tomtom
That was a fun drive to work 1hr 15 mins
joe
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Pip308
Member
Registered: 25th Oct 07
Location: Basingstoke Drives: Audi A4 Avant, Mk1 Caddy
User status: Offline
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Morning. Clearing 5inches of snow off your car isn't a good hangover cure
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Colin
Member
Registered: 4th Apr 02
User status: Offline
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quote:
Originally posted by Conway563
Colin. I've only recently finished unpacking and moved in at the start of November
Just not interested Joe
I might go & lay in the bath for a couple of hours, see how I feel then.
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