Lynny
Member
Registered: 3rd Jan 03
Location: oop north! Where people talk properly
User status: Offline
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I remember driving up a motorway once, my partner at the time was in the car infront, and we were talking on the phone as he was giving me directions. He said; "take the next turn off." To which I replied; "left or right?" He never forgave me for this
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alan-g-w
Member
Registered: 9th Nov 07
Location: Glasgow
User status: Offline
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quote:
Originally posted by Eck
 Some of the things they come out with  Long before the America comment, there was a status when her VW Polo broke down that read:
"Can someone come and set fire to my bucket of a vag", to which she had no idea why it was wrong 
F
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JonnyJ
Member
Registered: 23rd Sep 05
Location: Scotchland
User status: Offline
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quote:
Originally posted by john-d
mine comes out with total belters... always cheer me up..
1. we are on a plane flying back from murcia in spain.. its dusk
me "I would love to fly at night and have a quick look out the window, bet the stars look amazing"
her " dont be stupid, your above the stars"
2. on a long journey randomly
her "is horse beef?"
3. In a funeral limo after driving for like 3 miles and doing about 30mph
her "is that man with the hat still walking infront?"
4. In her text to me to say our home hub from bt had arrived
her "you will have to ring bt, they have brung a router but no broadband"
me "what you on about?"
her "they have forgot to put the broadband in the box"
there are more which i will post as i remember
[Edited on 19-02-2012 by john-d]
All brilliant, as is the one Eck put
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taylorboosh
Member
Registered: 3rd Apr 07
User status: Offline
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quote:
Originally posted by Lynny
I remember driving up a motorway once, my partner at the time was in the car infront, and we were talking on the phone as he was giving me directions. He said; "take the next turn off." To which I replied; "left or right?" He never forgave me for this
i know... on the phone whilst driving... tut
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Lynny
Member
Registered: 3rd Jan 03
Location: oop north! Where people talk properly
User status: Offline
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Hands free 
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taylorboosh
Member
Registered: 3rd Apr 07
User status: Offline
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asking for directions whilst following some one then... tut
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Mike
Organiser: North West and North Wales
Premium Member
Registered: 20th May 06
Location: nr. Skipton, North Yorkshire
User status: Offline
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There is actually a junction on the M8 where the right hand lane breaks off so it's not technically as daft a question as you might expect
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John
Member
Registered: 30th Jun 03
User status: Offline
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You can get off and on from the right hand side both east and west bound through Glasgow.
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grubz172
Member
Registered: 14th Jan 10
Location: Manchester Drives: Vehicles
User status: Offline
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my gf once told me her dad had a welder i could use .. turned out to be a soldering iron
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Eck
Premium Member
Registered: 17th Apr 06
Location: Lundin Links, Fife
User status: Offline
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Jules S
Premium Member
Registered: 24th Dec 03
User status: Offline
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quote:
Originally posted by grubz172
my gf once told me her dad had a welder i could use .. turned out to be a soldering iron
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Rickavo
Member
Registered: 2nd Jul 09
Location: Manchester
User status: Offline
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quote:
Originally posted by PhilC
4 years into our relationship, mine asked if me and my sister were twins...
There are much better ones that that. I'll add them when they come back to me.
I know a few brother/sister twins 
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Ian
Site Administrator
Registered: 28th Aug 99
Location: Liverpool
User status: Offline
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That reminds me of a girl I used to date, she said her neighbour had an Escort Van we could have, which was quite trendy back in the day, got there and it was a Morris Marina.
[Edited on 20-02-2012 by Ian]
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PhilC
Member
Registered: 21st Jan 06
Location: Lancs, UK
User status: Offline
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quote:
Originally posted by Rickavo
quote:
Originally posted by PhilC
4 years into our relationship, mine asked if me and my sister were twins...
There are much better ones that that. I'll add them when they come back to me.
I know a few brother/sister twins
Yeah, but after 4 years... you'd know we weren't!
Not same birthday etc.
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Lawrah
Premium Member
Registered: 25th Dec 04
User status: Offline
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Girls are fucking stupid. Loosers.
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FlaFFy_91
Premium Member
Registered: 30th Sep 08
Location: Formby, Merseyside
User status: Offline
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Not a girlfriend or ex. Just a friend who is a girl. Decided she had come up with the way to end all global warming. "Cars from now on should be fitted with some sort of bag on the exhaust so all the co2 is captured. Then when you get home you can just open the bag in your greenhouse"
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AlunJ
Member
Registered: 3rd Apr 07
Location: Newport
User status: Offline
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I got asked if Tenerife was in Tenby last week
[Edited on 20-02-2012 by AlunJ]
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spencer88
Member
Registered: 6th Oct 08
Location: cornwall
User status: Offline
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GF's mum was in the car other day when they said about the terrorist trying to blow up the plane in America but the explosives were fake.
He got life in prison.
She said 'What sentence we he have got if the explosives did work and it blew up.'
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Seany
Member
Registered: 13th Dec 06
Location: Dunfermline, Fife : Drives Astra cdti Sri
User status: Offline
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Mines asked if you can only play golf if you are disabled, because they all have handicaps.
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jacko198
Member
Registered: 1st Mar 07
Location: Buckinghamshire
User status: Offline
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My girlfriend asked me if Hedgehogs are waterproof walking in the rain.
Talking about James Brown she said "Oh isnt James Brown only abit dead" :s
Theres loads more, cant think though!
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corsa_sean
Member
Registered: 11th Mar 08
Location: aberdeen
User status: Offline
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Some of these are class glad it aint just her
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Balling
Premium Member
Registered: 7th Apr 04
Location: Denmark
User status: Offline
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An ex asked me how long it would take to boil pasta in cold water...
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Cavey
Member
Registered: 11th Nov 02
Location: Derby
User status: Offline
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My missus was convinced Egypt was a chicken nugget shaped island near Africa.
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Matt L
Member
Registered: 17th Apr 06
User status: Offline
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best one my gf came out with was whilst playing eye spy on some journey...
me 'something beginning with S'
her 'ceiling'
i ed and still do.
also whist driving into london last year we drove past a food place called 'tossed'
she said 'ooo look toss ed'
probably loads more tbh
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Robbo
Member
Registered: 6th Aug 02
Location: London
User status: Offline
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quote:
Originally posted by Matt L
best one my gf came out with was whilst playing eye spy on some journey...
me 'something beginning with S'
her 'ceiling'
i ed and still do.
also whist driving into london last year we drove past a food place called 'tossed'
she said 'ooo look toss ed'
probably loads more tbh
just been to Tossed for my lunch You can buy mugs thats say I'm a Tosser (as the workers are called tossers) lol
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