pow
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Registered: 11th Sep 06
Location: Hazlemere, Buckinghamshire
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When I get to this situation we are going to pay an equal amount into a joint account, all household from there and the rest is do what we want with it
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Ben G
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Registered: 12th Jan 07
Location: Essex
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quote:
Originally posted by Hammer
I'm at the negotiation stage with this at the minute 
Interesting to see what others do.
If you have a sensible other half then it's perfectly fine to put everything you both own into the joint account.
If, like mine, she enjoys going to the shops every saturday thinking it's all her money to spend, then i'd advise against doing the above.
once I changed the account my salary goes into, I started to find that I saved up a hell of a lot more as I could clearly see what I was spending.
300 quid a week goes into the join account, so the rest is mine to do as I please. Much better system.
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Ben J
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Registered: 31st Jan 05
Location: Cheshire
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This is why its never been an issue for us putting everything into 1 account. My missus isn't a big spender. If she was rinsing the account for shoes and clothes etc. each month then it would be a different story, but tbh I wouldn't have married someone like that.
Her money is mine and my money is hers. If she wants something she buys it, if I want something I buy it. If its a really expensive item then we discuss it. I got a big inheritance when I was 18 from my Grandma. That's now both of ours. I'm due a big chunk of money when my Uncles sells his business. That won't be mine, it will be ours.
But take this into consideration...we got together when I was 18 and she was 17. I'm now 33 and she's 31. By now i'd hope we'd got this sort of stuff sorted.
[Edited on 24-10-2013 by Ben J]
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VrsTurbo
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Registered: 8th Jun 10
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quote:
Originally posted by pow
When I get to this situation we are going to pay an equal amount into a joint account, all household from there and the rest is do what we want with it
what if you earn more than the other half etc.
Not really fair if your equal amount is only 20% of your salary when your partners is 60% for example. I know i couldnt do that.
I pay near 1k into the joint account she pays around 400 as she earns a lot less than me.
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RichR
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Registered: 17th Oct 01
Location: Waterhouses, Staffordshire
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I could afford to put more than my missus into the joint account but she wouldn't have it anyway. She's doesn't like to feel like she owes anyone and wants to pay her fair share and I respect that; straight down the middle results in no arguments, no feeling of one paying in more etc.
That said, we're in a fortunate position of still both having a good disposable income after paying in, might be different if it was leaving one of us short.
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Ben G
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Registered: 12th Jan 07
Location: Essex
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If you both pay the same percentage of your earnings into the joint account then it's fair.
Paying an equal amount when one person earns double the other isn't fair imo.
My missus wouldn't have any money left if we decided to put the same amount in.
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evilrob
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Registered: 16th Mar 12
Location: Your mum's house
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Me and Mrs Evil have our own personal accounts and a joint account, out of which comes all the bills (rent, utilities, TV licence, house insurance, car insurance (multi car policy), phone/broadband, food and entertainments etc.)
We have a set budget each month of £1500 to cover all 'joint' expenses, split 66/33 based on our relative earnings. DO NOT EVER DO THIS - it's pissed me off ever since, is the foundation of nearly all of our arguments and you can't ever go back to 50/50 - she won't have it, trust me.
The money left in our personal accounts is ours to do with whatever we please. Obviously if I hadn't been a twat at the outset and agreed to the 1000/500 split I'd have £250 more of my own money to spend on important man stuff each month.
It was only meant to be a temporary arrangement as she wanted laser eye surgery costing about £4,000, because at the time she wanted to retrain as a paramedic and apparently your eyesight needs to be up to scratch. She couldn't afford to go in 50/50 AND pay that off, so I agreed to make up the difference on the expenses so she could get it done. As it is, she got her eyes zapped (essentially subsidised by me), then didn't become a paramedic and the 66/33 arrangement has continued.
The net result is that I work longer hours in a more stressful / specialist skilled job, hence being paid 50% more than her, but I don't benefit from it because we more or less end up with the same 'pocket money' each month in our personal accounts, which ain't right.
I wouldn't mind if she had massive tits or was an amazing cook, but neither of these things apply. She can make beans on toast, cheese on toast, beans on cheese on toast, and toast.
It also wouldn't be so bad if we split the chores 66/33 in my favour to compensate, but she's fucking useless at everything. It's best that she doesn't do the laundry (separating loads by whites/colours/fabrics, checking pockets, selecting a cycle other than 30 degree quick wash etc - all of these things involve too much effort), can't iron for shit, her washing up is horrific (she just shows everything to the tap and puts it in the rack), she can't be trusted at the supermarket (will come back with a boot full of treats, all of which are pink), she'll keep putting stuff in the bin even when it's overflowing rather than take it out and IF she hoovers, she only hoovers *around* things - moving the chairs out from under the dining table to hoover under the table is too much to ask, apparently.
So I basically keep the place stocked with things we *actually need*, prevent it from turning into a shithole because left to her own devices we'd be wallowing in our own filth in no time, I prepare meals containing less than 50% toast, and I get to pay twice as much as she does for it all.
Moral of the story is: Go 50/50 or not at all. And make sure you're happy with the tits before entering into any long-term commitments. 
[Edited on 25-10-2013 by evilrob]
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Ben G
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Registered: 12th Jan 07
Location: Essex
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U2U sent to Mrs evilrob.
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AndyKent
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Registered: 3rd Sep 05
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Rob 
Despite that and one persons issues I'm thinking the percentage split based on earnings is probably the best bet.
The person who earns most still has more to spend, and the person who has less has a bit more than they would otherwise have had.
Might persuade her to let me build an extension on whatever we buy too 
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RichR
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Registered: 17th Oct 01
Location: Waterhouses, Staffordshire
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Rob is absolutely bang on. At the end of the day fair is fair and if the other half wants to enjoy living in a house, having a joint life etc. then why shouldn't they put in exactly 50%. If you lived with a flatmate or friends, you would split everything evenly so why not with a missus?
I did the same with my ex but she earned more than me so I had to learn to budget or go without if I couldn't afford and not rely on her to pay a higher percentage than I did. Plus when we split up, it meant that everything in our joint savings was split straight down the middle fairly - to all those who are on 60/40 or 70/30, if you split up, would your other half agree to splitting the assets the same way? They should but you can bet most would go after 50/50.
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AndyKent
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Registered: 3rd Sep 05
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Should be simple enough to write into a contract somewhere.
Pretty sure if all along you had paid in 60/40 and it got to the stage of a lawyer looking at it thats exactly how it would be split.
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Robbo
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Registered: 6th Aug 02
Location: London
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quote:
Originally posted by LiVe LeE
Rob is absolutely bang on. At the end of the day fair is fair and if the other half wants to enjoy living in a house, having a joint life etc. then why shouldn't they put in exactly 50%. If you lived with a flatmate or friends, you would split everything evenly so why not with a missus?
I 100% agree with you in theory but at the end of the day, if you went out with a waitress/hairdresser, say, and they simply cant afford a nice place, would you want to live in a cheaper/shittier place on principle or would you rather pay up?
For me, I'd rather pay up and lvie somewhere nicer. Similarly, re. a flatmate its a moot point as you wouldnt live somehwere you couldnt both afford
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evilrob
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Registered: 16th Mar 12
Location: Your mum's house
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quote:
Originally posted by AndyKent
I'm thinking the percentage split based on earnings is probably the best bet.
For the love of God don't do it! 
There are only two truly important things in life - money... and tits; if the funbags/moneybags ratio is off, the relationship is doomed. I've distilled this wisdom into an easy-to-follow chart:
[Edited on 24-10-2013 by evilrob]
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evilrob
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Registered: 16th Mar 12
Location: Your mum's house
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quote:
Originally posted by Robbo
if you went out with a waitress/hairdresser, say, and they simply cant afford a nice place
Tits, so it's not a problem. Refer to chart above.
[Edited on 24-10-2013 by evilrob]
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Robbo
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Registered: 6th Aug 02
Location: London
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My only experience (from 2004-7!!!) went thusly:
We both earned similar amounts (IIRC £28k:£23k in my favour) but she had quite a bit of savings and I had an almost equal and identical amount of debt, so we agreed to split thigns for the house 50:50 via a joint billing account, save £x per month each into a joint savigns account and the rest was ours to do with as we saw fit, wioth the intention that I paid off £x anount of debt per month from my leftover. Once done, or as we moved further apart ion terms of salaries we agreed to keep at 50:50 in the place we lvied but would review if and when we wanted to upgarde (see my point above).
I'm partial to a sudden splurge so until I was married and settled (with kids most likely tbh!) I would always want to use a joint billing account and retain own spending money
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Chris C
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Registered: 2nd Jan 05
Location: Hemel Hempstead
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quote:
Originally posted by LiVe LeE
Chris, do you both pay in the same amount or do you pay in all of your wages?
No earn about £8-9k a year more than Amie but she is now very sensible with money, the main reason for combining the accounts was because she ran up £8k debt so I could keep an eye on what she was doing. Any overtime or private jobs I do just goes straight into our saving account.
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Ben J
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Registered: 31st Jan 05
Location: Cheshire
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It feels like you guys are complicating things. Or your other halves can't be trusted not to empty the bank account buying shiny pink things?
I think I've won in life. My missus earns a lot, (a lot more than me too) but spends fuck all.
Tbh after bills etc. most of our spending is on the kids.
[Edited on 24-10-2013 by Ben J]
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evilrob
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Registered: 16th Mar 12
Location: Your mum's house
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quote:
Originally posted by Ben J
I think I've won in life.
Yes, you have. Chart updated accordingly.
[Edited on 24-10-2013 by evilrob]
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VegasPhil
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Registered: 16th Jan 05
Location: Fareham, Hants Drives: Octavia VRS
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All in the same account.
Corsa 2.0 16v Vegas - Sold
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Ben G
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Registered: 12th Jan 07
Location: Essex
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Pics of ben j's missus' knockers needed to verify the above chart result.
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N16K
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Registered: 4th Oct 04
Location: Belfast, NI Drives: Corsa D SRi, Tuned Cooper S, B
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quote:
Originally posted by evilrob
quote:
Originally posted by Ben J
I think I've won in life.
Yes, you have. Chart updated accordingly.
[Edited on 24-10-2013 by evilrob]
LOL
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chris_uk
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Registered: 8th Jul 03
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We do it very simply..
We work out what all the static bills come to and we both pay 50% each into a joint acc. Then we work out we probably spend about x per week on shopping so we put 50% of that in, then £100 extra for anything we may need..
Basically we both put £600 per month to a joint acc, everything left in my bank is mine and hers is hers..
That way we both have paid exactly the same and we dont get annoyed if either one spends their money.
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Hammer
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Registered: 11th Feb 04
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evilrob has fucking OWNED this thread, absolutely pissing myself
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Graham88
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Registered: 16th Apr 07
Location: South East Kent Drives: E46 M3
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66/33. I earn over 50% more I can hardly ask her too pay 50%. More like she wouldn't physically manage it. Like Robbo says it's a case of if I don't pay more then we wouldn't have moved out or we'd be living in a poverty stricken house.
Just take it in turns to pay for dinners when we go out and stuff. It works for us, but clearly doesn't work for everyone (Rob)
Have a joint account both put our set amounts into each then I have my own bills account I put an amount into on payday, everything else is play money. Easy peasy and it's almost impossible for me to miss bill payments this way
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whitter45
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Registered: 15th Nov 02
Location: Norton
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just get paid into 1 account and as long as bills are paid and we save some money we do what we please with the rest
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