aj80
Member
Registered: 23rd Nov 13
Location: Chesterton, Staffordshire
User status: Offline
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What call a dear with no eyes
no eyed dear
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tom130691
Premium Member
Registered: 13th Sep 08
Location: Daventry
User status: Offline
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quote:
Originally posted by Paul_J
------
Why don't blind people skydive?
It scares the hell out of the dog.
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Dom
Member
Registered: 13th Sep 03
User status: Offline
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quote:
Originally posted by aj80
What call a dear with no eyes
no eyed dear
What do you call a dear with no legs and no eyes?
Still no eyed dear.
Proper Dad jokes them
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spencer88
Member
Registered: 6th Oct 08
Location: cornwall
User status: Offline
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What do you call a dog with no legs?
Whatever you want, he still won't come to you.
[Edited on 04-12-2013 by spencer88]
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Mattb
Member
Registered: 2nd Feb 03
Location: Under your sisters bed
User status: Offline
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What do you call a prostitute with no arms or legs?
Cash and carry
More suitable for an 8 year old
Did you hear about the magic tractor?
It turned into a field
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3CorsaMeal
Member
Registered: 11th Apr 02
User status: Offline
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What's brown and sticky?
Tom daleys cock.
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corsadonk
Premium Member
Registered: 4th Jul 09
Location: Marlborough, Wiltshire
User status: Offline
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What did the slug say to the snail?
Big issue.
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GB123
Premium Member
Registered: 21st Nov 11
Location: Kent
User status: Offline
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quote:
Originally posted by 3CorsaMeal
What's brown and sticky?
Tom daleys cock.
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andy1868
Member
Registered: 22nd Jun 06
Location: Burscough, Lancashire
User status: Offline
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A young son is walking in the supermarket with his father. While walking down the cosmetic aisle the young lad sees the condoms on display.
Son: woah dad what are these?
Father: I cannot lie to you son, those are condoms, they stop mummies and daddies having babies.
Son: ahhhhh I see, so what are this pack for?
Father: that's a 3 pack son, they're for high school boys. One for Friday, one for saturday and one for Sunday.
Son: right, so what about this pack?
Father: ahhh that's a 6 pack for students, 2 for Friday, 2 for Saturday and 2 for Sunday.
Son: okay, so how about this big pack then?
Father, with a disappointed tone in his voice: ahhh that's a 12 pack for married men. 1 for January, 1 for February, 1 for March.......
[Edited on 04-12-2013 by andy1868]
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Gaz
Member
Registered: 24th Aug 03
Location: Widnes, Cheshire
User status: Offline
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^
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Ronson
Member
Registered: 6th Dec 10
User status: Offline
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quote:
Originally posted by spencer88
Two sausages in a pan.
One turns to the other and says: " Getting a bit hot in here isn't it"
The other replies: " Argghhhhh, a talking sausage"
Such a simple joke but I laughed so much lol
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aj80
Member
Registered: 23rd Nov 13
Location: Chesterton, Staffordshire
User status: Offline
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What's worse than lobsters on your piano.
crabs on your organ
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Ronson
Member
Registered: 6th Dec 10
User status: Offline
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SVM 286
Member
Registered: 13th Feb 05
Location: pain
User status: Offline
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Where did the Bee have to go when he bumped his head?
Or, where did the poorly Bee go? Or, where do Bees have to go when they are ill or unwell?
'To the Waspital'
This is particularly effective/hilarious when you're not aware that the 4/5 year old regaling you with the joke, actually knows any jokes. And it also helps when she has a little lisp (Wothpital) and a stone cold poker face into the bargain
Basically choked on my coffee as I just didn't see it coming.
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Ste
Premium Member
Registered: 5th Mar 03
Location: Taif, Saudi Arabia
User status: Offline
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What's orange and sounds like a parrot?
A carrot.
I would rather lose by a mile because i built my own car, than win by an inch because someone else built it for me.
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Pip308
Member
Registered: 25th Oct 07
Location: Basingstoke Drives: Audi A4 Avant, Mk1 Caddy
User status: Offline
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why cant miss piggy count to 100?
cos everytime she gets to 69 she gets a frog in her throat
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nibnob21
Premium Member
Registered: 16th May 10
Location: South Derbyshire
User status: Offline
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What's Beethoven's favourite fruit?
Banananaaaaaaa.
(Said like the start of Beethoven's 5th http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=_4IRMYuE1hI&desktop_uri=%2Fwatch%3Fv%3D_4IRMYuE1hI)
MX5 Project Thread
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Tommy
Member
Registered: 24th Aug 00
Location: Essex, Colchester
User status: Offline
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Whose the laziest doctor in the world ???
Dr Dolittle !
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Ian
Site Administrator
Registered: 28th Aug 99
Location: Liverpool
User status: Offline
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I've got one but it won't work in Australia, or written down.
How do you get two whales in a Mini?
Down the M56.
[Edited on 05-12-2013 by Ian]
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Ronson
Member
Registered: 6th Dec 10
User status: Offline
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Do not get
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DannyB
Premium Member
Registered: 6th Feb 08
User status: Offline
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Why did the 8 year old girl fall off the swing?
She didn't have any arms
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IvIarkgraham
Premium Member
Registered: 27th Mar 04
Location: Ellesmere Port, Cheshire
User status: Offline
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quote:
Originally posted by Ian
I've got one but it won't work in Australia, or written down.
How do you get two whales in a Mini?
Down the M56.
[Edited on 05-12-2013 by Ian]
56 stops before wales though
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Ronson
Member
Registered: 6th Dec 10
User status: Offline
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Now I get it, its a failed joke.
Well done Ian :applause:
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Graeme
Premium Member
Registered: 26th Jul 04
Location: Northampton
User status: Offline
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What do you call a 3 legged donkey?
Wonky
[Edited on 06-12-2013 by Graeme]
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FlaFFy_91
Premium Member
Registered: 30th Sep 08
Location: Formby, Merseyside
User status: Offline
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What's brown and sticky?
A stick
What's brown and sticky?
My poster of Beyoncé.
What's brown and sticky?
A nigger with a pritstick
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