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Author Sick Joke Thread
RCoughtrie
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Registered: 31st Oct 04
Location: East Ayrshire Scotland
User status: Offline
16th Oct 10 at 20:43   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote
Fuckin great thread
chrisritch
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Registered: 2nd Sep 08
Location: Northants Drives: V40
User status: Offline
16th Oct 10 at 20:43   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote
How do you have a safe game of chess in Ireland?

Put a condom over the bishop
N3CRO
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Registered: 12th Apr 07
Location: Sandy, Bedfordshire
User status: Offline
16th Oct 10 at 21:07   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote
quote:
Originally posted by chrisritch
How do you have a safe game of chess in Ireland?

Put a condom over the bishop


Bissmire
Member
Registered: 30th Sep 08
User status: Offline
17th Oct 10 at 00:17   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote
As I was changing my daughters nappy, I couldnt help but wonder what the name for the bit between the vagina and the arsehole is.

After a quick Google I still didnt find out. In the end I stuck with chin rest.
Ojc
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Registered: 14th Nov 00
Location: Reading: Drives : Clio 197
User status: Offline
17th Oct 10 at 00:19   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote
Oooofffttt
Bissmire
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Registered: 30th Sep 08
User status: Offline
17th Oct 10 at 00:20   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote
sand-eel
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Registered: 15th Mar 07
Location: carluke/braidwood--IRNBRULAND
User status: Offline
17th Oct 10 at 04:07   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote
lol
chrisritch
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Registered: 2nd Sep 08
Location: Northants Drives: V40
User status: Offline
19th Oct 10 at 11:21   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote
Unlike Manchester United, When Liverpool go down, We wont be hitting a runway
Bissmire
Member
Registered: 30th Sep 08
User status: Offline
19th Oct 10 at 12:08   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote
Ive just bought the Cancer Charity Edition of Modern Warfare 2.

It's shit, you're constantly in Painkiller mode, and the only level available is Terminal!
mike56gte
Member
Registered: 23rd Jun 09
Location: Fife, scotland Drives: Audi S3
User status: Offline
19th Oct 10 at 12:24   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote
What's black and has 27 tits??
The rubbish bag outside the cancer clinic
Bissmire
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Registered: 30th Sep 08
User status: Offline
19th Oct 10 at 12:29   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote












stuartmitchell
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Registered: 24th Apr 04
Location: Kirkliston, Edinburgh
User status: Offline
19th Oct 10 at 12:33   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote
Mick Hucknalls been arrested after being caught shagging a rabbit. A police source said he was holding back the ears and singing bunnys too tight to mention
mike56gte
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Registered: 23rd Jun 09
Location: Fife, scotland Drives: Audi S3
User status: Offline
19th Oct 10 at 12:51   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote
What's worse than finding half a maggot in your apple?
Gangrape.
Bissmire
Member
Registered: 30th Sep 08
User status: Offline
19th Oct 10 at 13:01   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote
Whats the difference between a sandwich and a dead baby?

I dont cum on a sandwich before I eat it.
mike56gte
Member
Registered: 23rd Jun 09
Location: Fife, scotland Drives: Audi S3
User status: Offline
19th Oct 10 at 13:03   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Bissmire
Whats the difference between a sandwich and a dead baby?

I dont cum on a sandwich before I eat it.



the bar has just been raised!
BarnshaW
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Registered: 25th Oct 06
User status: Offline
19th Oct 10 at 13:12   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote
whilst at my cousing we were in the kitchen doing dinner when she asked me to turn on the veg. Apparently fingering her disabled sister was not what she meant
Ingham
Banned
Registered: 9th May 08
Location: Burnley, Lancashire
User status: Offline
19th Oct 10 at 13:21   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote
My brother just updated his status to

"I love my girlfriend <3".

I always knew he liked them young, but that is fucking ridiculous.
BarnshaW
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Registered: 25th Oct 06
User status: Offline
19th Oct 10 at 13:22   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote
my uncle came out of the closet yesterday, he isnt gay, he has alzheimers and thought it was the car
Ingham
Banned
Registered: 9th May 08
Location: Burnley, Lancashire
User status: Offline
19th Oct 10 at 13:29   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote
I was working late at the Carphone Warehouse last night when I received this text from my daughter...

"Dad,thespacebuttonisfaultyonthisphone. Whenyougethomepleasegivemeanalternative."

And as I eagerly rushed home, I couldn't help but wonder... What the hell does "ternative" mean?
Bissmire
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Registered: 30th Sep 08
User status: Offline
19th Oct 10 at 13:31   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote
mike56gte
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Registered: 23rd Jun 09
Location: Fife, scotland Drives: Audi S3
User status: Offline
19th Oct 10 at 13:41   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote
Q. What did the deaf, dumb and blind boy get for Christmas?
A. Cancer.
chrisritch
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Registered: 2nd Sep 08
Location: Northants Drives: V40
User status: Offline
19th Oct 10 at 13:42   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote
quote:
Originally posted by mike56gte
Q. What did the deaf, dumb and blind boy get for Christmas?
A. Cancer.



aids tbh
mike56gte
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Registered: 23rd Jun 09
Location: Fife, scotland Drives: Audi S3
User status: Offline
19th Oct 10 at 13:44   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote
quote:
Originally posted by chrisritch
quote:
Originally posted by mike56gte
Q. What did the deaf, dumb and blind boy get for Christmas?
A. Cancer.



aids tbh


he got that last christmas.
BarnshaW
Member
Registered: 25th Oct 06
User status: Offline
19th Oct 10 at 13:51   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Jonny Ingham
I was working late at the Carphone Warehouse last night when I received this text from my daughter...

"Dad,thespacebuttonisfaultyonthisphone. Whenyougethomepleasegivemeanalternative."

And as I eagerly rushed home, I couldn't help but wonder... What the hell does "ternative" mean?


fucking
Bissmire
Member
Registered: 30th Sep 08
User status: Offline
19th Oct 10 at 14:27   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote
Im really excited about tonight. I've managed to get myself a hot date with this beautiful blonde. Only problem is, what do I wear?

My balaclava or the usual tights over the head?

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