morpheus22
Member
Registered: 10th Oct 05
Location: sheffield
User status: Offline
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quote:
Originally posted by BluKoo
quote:
Originally posted by Gareth F
How the fuck do you stand up and do it, surely your cheeks come back together trapping poo in there 
I remain in the same position as i would when sitting down, but lift my arse off the seat and lean forward. Almost as if i'm peering down a hole infront of my feet.
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mattfiesta
Member
Registered: 14th Jul 05
Location: Nottinghamshire
User status: Offline
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quote:
Originally posted by dannymccann
Sit down 
Also, before you do the deed, can you feel if its going to be a 'good clean shit'? You know the ones that just slip straight out in about 5 seconds AND leave no trace behind?!  These are my favourite shits, in and out before someone has time to take a piss 
Amen, the worse being a dehydrated shit on a hot sweaty summers day that seems to take a lifetime to wipe.
What do you stand up people do when you have the runs? Does it not run down your leg?
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Tommy L
Member
Registered: 21st Aug 06
Location: Northampton Drives: Audi wagon
User status: Offline
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quote:
Originally posted by Seany
quote:
Originally posted by mattk
the very fact he has touched his own shit proves sitting down is flawed, yet he still persists in saying Im wrong for standing up
standing up to wipe is flawed also, it may just be me but when i stand up my ass cheeks close, therfore less wipage can be done? 
I don't think you get less wipage, you get a tighter wipage. A more rigorous arse wiping
[Edited on 18-07-2009 by corsa_tomtom]
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Scotty_B
Member
Registered: 11th Jun 03
Location: East Kilbride
User status: Offline
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I raise up on the left cheek whilst sitting therefore leaving just enough room for the right hand to valet my ass.
[Edited on 18-07-2009 by CorSRi_BT]
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mwg
Member
Registered: 19th Feb 04
Location: South Lakes
User status: Offline
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stand up obviously. you'd have to be a complete weirdo to sit down whilst wiping
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Jambo
Member
Registered: 8th Sep 01
Location: Maidenhead, Drives: VXR Arctic
User status: Offline
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flol 
Sitting down and the 3sheet fold!
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Gareth F
Member
Registered: 16th Jan 08
Location: Location Location
User status: Offline
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You know it make sense 
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1_Litre_Porsche_Beater
Member
Registered: 9th Apr 02
Location: Kent
User status: Offline
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Stand up, at least 6 sheets and baby wipes for messy ones.....im going to try sitting down
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CorsAsh
Member
Registered: 19th Apr 02
Location: Munich
User status: Offline
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Does anyone have a bidet?
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Jake
Member
Registered: 24th Jan 05
User status: Offline
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stand up and half a roll if i have to. theres no credit crunch in my house
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Corsa Sport Gav
Member
Registered: 12th Feb 03
Location: Durham, County Durham Drives: A6 Allroad
User status: Offline
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1 sheet to clean
1 sheet to polish
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micra_pete
Premium Member
Registered: 23rd Apr 03
Location: West Yorkshire
User status: Offline
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there is no way you can get a 100% clean rim if you stand up, no way.
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mwg
Member
Registered: 19th Feb 04
Location: South Lakes
User status: Offline
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quote:
Originally posted by CorsAsh
Does anyone have a bidet?
We used to have one in the bathroom but had it changed for a toilet. The toilet we already had is in a separate room incase you were starting to think we had 2 toilets in the bathroom
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Jambo
Member
Registered: 8th Sep 01
Location: Maidenhead, Drives: VXR Arctic
User status: Offline
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used to have one, sister didnt know what it was when she was younger and turned it on left it and flooded the bathroom
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sand-eel
Member
Registered: 15th Mar 07
Location: carluke/braidwood--IRNBRULAND
User status: Offline
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quote:
Originally posted by Matty G
quote:
Originally posted by CorsAsh
Does anyone have a bidet?
We used to have one in the bathroom but had it changed for a toilet. The toilet we already had is in a separate room incase you were starting to think we had 2 toilets in the bathroom
so you had to do a shit and go to the next room for the bidet? 
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mwg
Member
Registered: 19th Feb 04
Location: South Lakes
User status: Offline
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No because I didn't use the bidet.
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sand-eel
Member
Registered: 15th Mar 07
Location: carluke/braidwood--IRNBRULAND
User status: Offline
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...but if you did?
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mwg
Member
Registered: 19th Feb 04
Location: South Lakes
User status: Offline
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Yes you'd have to shit in the toilet then go to the bathroom next door.
I wouldn't even know how to use a bidet
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1_Litre_Porsche_Beater
Member
Registered: 9th Apr 02
Location: Kent
User status: Offline
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I tried the sit down wipe and tbh its not too bad, reckon i could get used to it.
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HOMIE
Member
Registered: 3rd Jun 09
User status: Offline
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The sit down wipe from the front to the back is they way forward
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Gregor
Member
Registered: 28th Nov 03
Location: Paisley, Renfrewshire
User status: Offline
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Slightly off topic but never ever use those multi purpose cleansing wipes to wipe your arse.
I had a shitting emergency work and was in need of toilet paper but these wipes were the only thing i could find. They had a wee hand symbol with the words "dermatologically (sp) tested" so i thought theyd be safe enough to use.
Never again.
For about an hour after I was convinced they had melted my arsehole.
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Daveskater
Premium Member
Registered: 29th Apr 08
Location: Oxford, UK Drives: Jap wagon
User status: Offline
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Most epic thread in evAr
Sit down ftw 3 sheets scrunched up, right handed
Btw, how annoying is it when people put the roll on the holder the wrong way round so you have to scrape your hand along the wall to get to the end
Gregor, they probably had bleach in or something
Numberwang!
Originally posted by AlunJ
I like you Dave, you are a man of men
Originally Whatapp'd by Neo
Dave's maybe capable of a drive-by cuddle
Look at my pictures
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Dom
Member
Registered: 13th Sep 03
User status: Offline
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I don't understand how you can wipe your arse standing?
I go for the - lean to the left, hand from the side wipe front to back approach, works well
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Daveskater
Premium Member
Registered: 29th Apr 08
Location: Oxford, UK Drives: Jap wagon
User status: Offline
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Thinking about it, used to stand up for years Then tried sitting and it blew standing out of the water
Numberwang!
Originally posted by AlunJ
I like you Dave, you are a man of men
Originally Whatapp'd by Neo
Dave's maybe capable of a drive-by cuddle
Look at my pictures
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VegasPhil
Premium Member
Registered: 16th Jan 05
Location: Fareham, Hants Drives: Octavia VRS
User status: Offline
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I only discovered the sit down wipe technique after this was posted before. Genius. Thaaaaaankyou CS.
Corsa 2.0 16v Vegas - Sold
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