LukeS
Member
Registered: 25th Nov 07
Location: Ormskirk
User status: Offline
|
Fail.
|
andy1868
Member
Registered: 22nd Jun 06
Location: Burscough, Lancashire
User status: Offline
|
whats the fail for?
yes neo, ghost hunting
|
LukeS
Member
Registered: 25th Nov 07
Location: Ormskirk
User status: Offline
|
the orgasm
|
andy1868
Member
Registered: 22nd Jun 06
Location: Burscough, Lancashire
User status: Offline
|
Today, my five year old daughter was watching cartoons on TV. Then a Barbie commercial came on. My daughter sang along with the theme song "Be who you want to be, B-A-R-B-I-E." She then turned to me and said "Mom, I want to be a hooker." FML
|
_Allan_
Member
Registered: 24th Mar 04
User status: Offline
|
Cool, what bike does he have Andy?
|
LukeS
Member
Registered: 25th Nov 07
Location: Ormskirk
User status: Offline
|
Are you getting these from the internet?
|
JonnyJ
Member
Registered: 23rd Sep 05
Location: Scotchland
User status: Offline
|
quote: Originally posted by andy1868
Today, my five year old daughter was watching cartoons on TV. Then a Barbie commercial came on. My daughter sang along with the theme song "Be who you want to be, B-A-R-B-I-E." She then turned to me and said "Mom, I want to be a hooker." FML
11 more years andy, 11 more years...
|
Neo
Member
Registered: 20th Feb 07
Location: Essex
User status: Offline
|
quote: Originally posted by LukeS
Are you getting these from the internet?
I fucking hope so
[Edited on 25-06-2009 by Neo]
|
_Allan_
Member
Registered: 24th Mar 04
User status: Offline
|
quote: Originally posted by LukeS
Are you getting these from the internet?
The clue is at the end 'fml'
http://www.fmylife.com/
[Edited on 25-06-2009 by _Allan_]
|
JonnyJ
Member
Registered: 23rd Sep 05
Location: Scotchland
User status: Offline
|
This is killing my boredom
http://www.textsfromlastnight.com/best-nights/
|
LukeS
Member
Registered: 25th Nov 07
Location: Ormskirk
User status: Offline
|
i thought he meant "for my loss"
|
JonnyJ
Member
Registered: 23rd Sep 05
Location: Scotchland
User status: Offline
|
(909): I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
|
LukeS
Member
Registered: 25th Nov 07
Location: Ormskirk
User status: Offline
|
that sites funny
[Edited on 25-06-2009 by LukeS]
|
LukeS
Member
Registered: 25th Nov 07
Location: Ormskirk
User status: Offline
|
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog. ... Lol
|
_Allan_
Member
Registered: 24th Mar 04
User status: Offline
|
Some more funny ones on here. Most are prolly trolls though.
http://mydrunktexts.com/
|
Matt L
Member
Registered: 17th Apr 06
User status: Offline
|
omfg
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I must try that one day hahaha
|
LukeS
Member
Registered: 25th Nov 07
Location: Ormskirk
User status: Offline
|
Last night, I was extremely intoxicated and a little horny. I went into my contacts, found "Perry's cell" and texted him all the dirty things I wanted to do to him. I woke up the next morning and looked in my sent box to see that I sent it to "Papa's cell." I drunk sexted my father. MDT
|
LukeS
Member
Registered: 25th Nov 07
Location: Ormskirk
User status: Offline
|
Last night, "i just smacked a kid in the face with a bottle of Johnson's No More Tears" MDT
|
Neo
Member
Registered: 20th Feb 07
Location: Essex
User status: Offline
|
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
|
Matt L
Member
Registered: 17th Apr 06
User status: Offline
|
didnt realise British airways were getting into trouble
|
LukeS
Member
Registered: 25th Nov 07
Location: Ormskirk
User status: Offline
|
quote: Originally posted by Matt L
didnt realise British airways were getting into trouble
|
Matt L
Member
Registered: 17th Apr 06
User status: Offline
|
just heard on the radio they are asking staff to take a pay cut
|
JonnyJ
Member
Registered: 23rd Sep 05
Location: Scotchland
User status: Offline
|
(303): There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
(714): found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
|
LukeS
Member
Registered: 25th Nov 07
Location: Ormskirk
User status: Offline
|
"so we just fucked 4 times in a row, best sex in the world fuckin made me cum more than once and now he's cuddeling wanting to sleep and i'm not done fuckk." (receive): "darling, I think you sent this text to the wrong person but if he falls asleep the best way to wake up my son is by tickling him"... i sent the txt to his mother
|
LukeS
Member
Registered: 25th Nov 07
Location: Ormskirk
User status: Offline
|
Permanent Tuxedo
[Edited on 25-06-2009 by LukeS]
|