Edd
Member
Registered: 8th Nov 04
Location: Glasgow
User status: Offline
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then post thread in HZ asking why your car wont start
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Steve
Premium Member
Registered: 30th Mar 02
Location: Worcestershire Drives: Defender
User status: Offline
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..think happyslapping is an olympic event...until you get happyslapped yourself 
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gianluigi
Member
Registered: 9th Mar 05
Location: Ipswich, Suffolk
User status: Offline
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Robin
Premium Member
Registered: 7th Jan 04
Location: Northants Drives: Clio 182 Cup
User status: Offline
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or post it in gc saying "i know it shouldnt be in here, but..."
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Steve
Premium Member
Registered: 30th Mar 02
Location: Worcestershire Drives: Defender
User status: Offline
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...sit on roundabouts that are powered by mopeds
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Edd
Member
Registered: 8th Nov 04
Location: Glasgow
User status: Offline
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buy shares in Ripspeed
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Matt H
Member
Registered: 11th Sep 01
Location: South Yorkshire
User status: Offline
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buy ANYTHING in Ripspeed
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Edd
Member
Registered: 8th Nov 04
Location: Glasgow
User status: Offline
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state at least once that the all corsa 8v engines are "bulletproof"
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gianluigi
Member
Registered: 9th Mar 05
Location: Ipswich, Suffolk
User status: Offline
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Campaigne the issue that 1.2 8v SXI's exist
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Steve
Premium Member
Registered: 30th Mar 02
Location: Worcestershire Drives: Defender
User status: Offline
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...spend your saturday flicking through Halfords lexus lights catalogue and admiring the Peco exhausts
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CorsAsh
Member
Registered: 19th Apr 02
Location: Munich
User status: Offline
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invest in some tireflies...
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Steve
Premium Member
Registered: 30th Mar 02
Location: Worcestershire Drives: Defender
User status: Offline
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ash are you going to update this?
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Edd
Member
Registered: 8th Nov 04
Location: Glasgow
User status: Offline
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read the guide for the paperclip test but understand none of it then still go to vauxhall
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Matt H
Member
Registered: 11th Sep 01
Location: South Yorkshire
User status: Offline
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Take pictures of your new Peco exhaust & lexus lights in pitch black with the flash on
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CorsAsh
Member
Registered: 19th Apr 02
Location: Munich
User status: Offline
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#1 Add a jet engine, flip it at 300mph
#2 Grow a ginger beard and learn to roundhouse kick stuff.
#3 Fit VTEC.
#4 fit civic lights to it regardless of how they fit
#5 put all the interior on the exterior, and have an interior like a ferrys exterior
#6 fit the 1st set of alloys you can get your hands on regardless of offset
#7 Refer to your car as your "ride" regardless to the fact that you don't actually ride a car
#8 u2u g@z
#9 Make your own in-car driving video and call it "Boys have fun"
#10 Join http://www.VAGweb.co.uk
#11 Fit a shit exhaust
#12 Make wide arches out of expanding foam
#13 ring vauxhall to get a working flux capacitor
#14 Put your back seats down to reduce weight and improve performance - Whilst fitting a rather heavy sub and amp to your car
#15 Fit a Cossie cone, just because they're so damn cool.
#16 Stick on random VXR, turbo, GSi, TypeR badges as you see fit
#17 Fit a bfo exhaust because it means big 'fuck' off and you like swearing
#18 fit a multitude of stickers even if you dont actually own anything from the companies youre promoting
#19 Fit a sock to induction system & wonder why the car doesn't work properly
#20 Attempt to fit a dump valve to your 1.2 8v, your mate did it he said it was easy
#21 Stick a cd to your horn to bling your car up that extra bit.
#22 stick tights over your headlights for that genuine tineted look
#23 Realise dumpvalves only work on turbo cars, purchase fake electric sound dump valve from ebay
#24 video yourself doing 130mph in third gear
#25 Gain 10-15% in performance for just £4.50 on ebay
#26 If you are asian, put a gold decorative tissue box on your parcel shelf
#27 Let a 16 year old girl drive and crash your car cos you want to have sex with her
#28 Fit rubstrips
#29 Lie about owning a Calibra
#30 Cover your boring grey parcel shelf with an England flag
#31 Buy a BMW 316 add m3 badges
#32 Hang CD from rear view mirror
#33 Want to own a CTR
#34 ...or a blue Impreza with Gold wheels and a Prodrive jacket
#35 Angle seat backwards
#36 Use only one hand to steer
#37 Fit leather look seat covers from Argos
#38 master the art of drifting using 2 mcdonalds tray's
#39 Get told daily that 106s are better
#40 Debadge car.....only to fit a sticker 100 times as big saying the same thing as the badge did
#41 Fit DIY tints as they are P.I.M.P
#42 fit a gsi kit and speedlines?
#43 fit a non-working roof scoop
#44 get chinese motif's all over your bonnet when you're quite clearly white
#45 Start your own online Corsa community
#46 Enquire about possible turbo conversion for 1.2 engines
#47 Buy leafblower electric supercharger from eBay
#48 Remove two HT leads so your 1.0 sounds like a Subaru
#49 be deluded into thinking the GSi is actually quick
#50 ...then start smallblockxe.com
#51 Fit caliper covers to make it look like you have 4 pots
#52 ...and fake rear discs...
#53 Fit alloys before lowering
#54 Cut springs as lowering kits cost too much
#55 Wonder why your suspension fell out...
#56 sex wee at the sight of Carbon Fibre
#57 criticise martin c for having a crap car when owning a 1997 white corsa merit.
#58 Use chicken wire instead of mesh
#59 Fit a whale tail
#60 Claim to have a 2.0 8v that does 140mph
#61 Drink Carling at a cruise
#62 Flash your eggy breasts at a cruise
#63 Fit a twin upswept DTM in the middle of the back bumper
#64 Fit a huge dual exit in the middle of your GSi's rear bumper
#65 post pics of your X14XE doing 127mph.
#66 advise people not to rev over 2krpm when the engine is cold
#67 call GTX Magnatec a marketing gimmick
#68 think that octane booster or super unleaded makes a difference on your 1.2 8v
#69 put SRi badges on your Corsa C, because you believe it's faster than an SXi
#70 make a tongue shaped bonnet
#71 inability to spell is a must
#72 make a hans solo stuck in metal in your bonnet
#73 if you dont have foglights install some then break the switch so they never go off (even in broad daylight)
#74 "strip" your car of all needless electrical wiring even though you have no experience of auto electrics
#75 wire up your fuel pump relay to the rear foglight switch.
#76 …then post thread in HZ asking why your car wont start
#77 …or post it in gc saying "i know it shouldnt be in here, but..."
#78 sit on roundabouts that are powered by mopeds
#79 buy shares in Ripspeed
#80 buy ANYTHING in Ripspeed
#81 invest in some “Tireflies”
#82 state at least once that the all corsa 8v engines are "bulletproof"
#83 Campaigne the issue that 1.2 8v SXI's exist
#84 spend your saturday flicking through Halfords lexus lights catalogue and admiring the Peco exhausts
#85 Take pictures of your new Peco exhaust & lexus lights in pitch black with the flash on
#86 read the guide for the paperclip test but understand none of it then still go to vauxhall
Yes Steve 
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Edd
Member
Registered: 8th Nov 04
Location: Glasgow
User status: Offline
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lie consistantly about you cars performance figures stating "dont know what the previous owner done to it but its rapid"
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Robin
Premium Member
Registered: 7th Jan 04
Location: Northants Drives: Clio 182 Cup
User status: Offline
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take a picture of your 'new' wheels, just resting against your car
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Adam_B
Member
Registered: 13th Dec 00
Location: Lancashire
User status: Offline
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your 1.4 16v Sport IS faster than a pulsar GTIR. Tell everyone.
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Robin
Premium Member
Registered: 7th Jan 04
Location: Northants Drives: Clio 182 Cup
User status: Offline
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Edd
Member
Registered: 8th Nov 04
Location: Glasgow
User status: Offline
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fit seatbelt covers
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Steve
Premium Member
Registered: 30th Mar 02
Location: Worcestershire Drives: Defender
User status: Offline
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quote:
Originally posted by Adam_B
your 1.4 16v Sport IS faster than a pulsar GTIR. Tell everyone.
LOLLERSKATES
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Edd
Member
Registered: 8th Nov 04
Location: Glasgow
User status: Offline
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show everyone your superior car knowledge by always calling the nova the corsa a
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Steve
Premium Member
Registered: 30th Mar 02
Location: Worcestershire Drives: Defender
User status: Offline
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double your cars value by adding random fibreglass
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Sly_SRi
Premium Member
Registered: 9th Apr 04
Location: Reading, UK Drives: Corsa C
User status: Offline
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Go as fast as you can past a primary school to impress the young girls
Corsa C Z20Let
Black Sleeper Turbo Project
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Edd
Member
Registered: 8th Nov 04
Location: Glasgow
User status: Offline
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always state in "k's" how much money you've spent on your car
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