mattk
Member
Registered: 27th Feb 06
Location: St. Helens
User status: Offline
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I see Shannon Matthews turned up....... just goes to show the ugly ones allways turn up alive
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mattk
Member
Registered: 27th Feb 06
Location: St. Helens
User status: Offline
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You're locked in a room with Saddam Hussein, Adolf Hitler, and a Paki. You have a gun with ONLY two bullets.What do you do?
Shoot the Paki twice to make sure he's dead.
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Ben J
Member
Registered: 31st Jan 05
Location: Cheshire
User status: Offline
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Tbh...I'm finding the baby jokes a bit edgy as i've got a 4 month old son.
But i've been laughing at Jade jokes all day so its swings and roundabouts.
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Ben J
Member
Registered: 31st Jan 05
Location: Cheshire
User status: Offline
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quote:
Originally posted by mattk
You're locked in a room with Saddam Hussein, Adolf Hitler, and a Paki. You have a gun with ONLY two bullets.What do you do?
Shoot the Paki twice to make sure he's dead.
My Dad told me that a while ago....
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Pip308
Member
Registered: 25th Oct 07
Location: Basingstoke Drives: Audi A4 Avant, Mk1 Caddy
User status: Offline
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quote:
Originally posted by mattk
You're locked in a room with Saddam Hussein, Adolf Hitler, and a Paki. You have a gun with ONLY two bullets.What do you do?
Shoot the Paki twice to make sure he's dead.
carefull
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mattk
Member
Registered: 27th Feb 06
Location: St. Helens
User status: Offline
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A white man walks into a pub in Oldham, totally shattered, screaming “All Muslims are sh*theads". A man sitting in the corner shouts, “I take serious offense to that ! It's a bloody lie !” The white guy asks, “Why? Are you a Muslim?” He replies proudly, “No. I'm a sh*thead
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Bonney
Member
Registered: 14th Nov 04
Location: St Helens
User status: Offline
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Why did Hitler commit suicide?
He got the gas bill.
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mattk
Member
Registered: 27th Feb 06
Location: St. Helens
User status: Offline
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PMSL
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Aaron
Member
Registered: 9th Aug 04
Location: Cottingham, East Riding
User status: Offline
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quote:
Originally posted by Bonney66
Why did Hitler commit suicide?
He got the gas bill.
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John
Member
Registered: 30th Jun 03
User status: Offline
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quote:
Originally posted by mattk
A white man walks into a pub in Oldham, totally shattered, screaming “All Muslims are sh*theads". A man sitting in the corner shouts, “I take serious offense to that ! It's a bloody lie !” The white guy asks, “Why? Are you a Muslim?” He replies proudly, “No. I'm a sh*thead
All muslims being shitheads does not imply all shitheads are muslims 
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mattk
Member
Registered: 27th Feb 06
Location: St. Helens
User status: Offline
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oops just seen willays post 
had loads too, some are bad
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Bonney
Member
Registered: 14th Nov 04
Location: St Helens
User status: Offline
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What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a PS3?
Nothing; they're both plastic, they both come in black and white, and they both get turned on by kids.
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mattk
Member
Registered: 27th Feb 06
Location: St. Helens
User status: Offline
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Time to provide a bit of ballance
Why do so many white people get lost skiing?
It's hard to find them in the snow.
What do you call 300 white men chasing a black man?
The PGA tour.
How long does it take for a white women to take a crap???
9 months
What's the flattest surface to iron your jeans on?
A white girl's ass!
[Edited on 19-02-2009 by mattk]
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mattk
Member
Registered: 27th Feb 06
Location: St. Helens
User status: Offline
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What's difference between Smarties and Muslim extremists?
Smarties don't explode in the tube.
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Bonney
Member
Registered: 14th Nov 04
Location: St Helens
User status: Offline
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What's the difference between Harold Shipman and Tony Blair?
Shipman actually did something about the NHS waiting lists.
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mattk
Member
Registered: 27th Feb 06
Location: St. Helens
User status: Offline
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What's the difference between two gay blokes and a freezer?
When you pull the meat out of the freezer, it dosent fart.
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Bonney
Member
Registered: 14th Nov 04
Location: St Helens
User status: Offline
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Jesus walks into a hotel, throws a bag of nails on the counter and says,
"Can you put me up for the night?"
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mattk
Member
Registered: 27th Feb 06
Location: St. Helens
User status: Offline
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HAHA
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mattk
Member
Registered: 27th Feb 06
Location: St. Helens
User status: Offline
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How many jews can you fit in a VW Beetle?
54, two in the front, two in the back, and fifty in the ashtray
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mattk
Member
Registered: 27th Feb 06
Location: St. Helens
User status: Offline
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What language does Jewish homo speak?
Heblew
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Bonney
Member
Registered: 14th Nov 04
Location: St Helens
User status: Offline
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How do you make a chav run faster?
Put a DVD player under his arm.
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Bonney
Member
Registered: 14th Nov 04
Location: St Helens
User status: Offline
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Why do women have legs?
Have you ever seen the trail a snail leaves?
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mattk
Member
Registered: 27th Feb 06
Location: St. Helens
User status: Offline
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How do you know if you're at a gay picnic?
The hotdogs taste like shit!
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mattk
Member
Registered: 27th Feb 06
Location: St. Helens
User status: Offline
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Four fags are sitting in a hot tub. They notice some sperm rising to the surface. One fag says, "Ok, who farted?"
What do you call a mix between a Homo and a Dinosaur?
A Mega-sore-ass
[Edited on 19-02-2009 by mattk]
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Bonney
Member
Registered: 14th Nov 04
Location: St Helens
User status: Offline
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A blonde was admitted into hospital for having phone sex. Doctors removed 2 Nokias, 1 Samsung, 2 Motorolas, but no Siemens were found
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