Budgie
Member
Registered: 2nd Dec 09
Location: Basingstoke
User status: Offline
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its nice when friends are nice about it.
could have some friends that are badgers and take the duvet off while your at it.
Seriously not cool 
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Pip308
Member
Registered: 25th Oct 07
Location: Basingstoke Drives: Audi A4 Avant, Mk1 Caddy
User status: Offline
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quote:
Originally posted by Budgie
its nice when friends are nice about it.
could have some friends that are badgers and take the duvet off while your at it.
Seriously not cool
was that with kelly?
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Budgie
Member
Registered: 2nd Dec 09
Location: Basingstoke
User status: Offline
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quote:
Originally posted by pip308
quote:
Originally posted by Budgie
its nice when friends are nice about it.
could have some friends that are badgers and take the duvet off while your at it.
Seriously not cool
was that with kelly?
aye
not a bad shag 2bh 
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Root
Member
Registered: 28th Dec 08
User status: Offline
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pill ftw
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Limecat
Banned
Registered: 25th Jun 05
Location: The Internet
User status: Offline
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quote:
Originally posted by Budgie
LETGSI16V more stories please, they made me lol
Well my current empty is getting on a bit now as she turned 17 a couple of months back. She was still boxed until I got my hands on her though. She is a bit stuffy about sex, she won't let you smash her kipper out if her parents are in and she won't let me knob her on film either but she will let me spaff in her. Her fanny is properly tight though, like a Jewish accountants grip on a 50 pence piece, the only problem with that is that you have to be absolutely rock solid in order to get it up her otherwise it is akin to feeding a slug into a slot machine.  About a month ago we were coming back from a night out sat at the top of the bus, right at the back, I had managed to give her a finger-banging and when the last people left the bus I convinced her to climb up for a rodding, she had been going a few minutes when another sodding bus stopped along side us, 3 lads all cheering and shouting out of the window. She wouldn't carry on after that, so we got off at Carpet World and I took her round the back and nailed her on some rollends that were around the side. Classy empty.
Another one worthy of mention is the bird I mentioned from the threesome. A right filthy slag. I first chucked one up her when she was 16 and she was already on the contraceptive injection then, Eric Bristows dartboard hasn't been hit by as many pricks as she has. Anyway, my car was knackered so I borrowed my Mums car and went up to give her a rattling before I dropped her off to go out with her Dad. She wasn't much cop at cock bouncing so I got her onto the passenger seat, wound the seat back down and climbed aboard, popping her legs over my shoulders then lobbed my goo up her. I remember dropping her off to see her Dad who thought she was still boxed and watching as she went in at the damp patch on her tight jeans. I drove off pissing myself that her Dad would probably now realise that she is getting ruined on a regular basis, feeling rather pleased with myself until my phone started ringing. I normally just put my phone on the seat so went to grab it in the dark and put my hand into a load of knob-vomit. The dirty bitch had let it trickle out all over my Mums car seat. My Mum would be using the car in the morning! Oh bollocks. I spent bloody hours driving round every petrol station I could until I finally found some upholstery cleaner, before I cleaned it I took a photo of the stain and sent it to her and her mate. I was back feeling smug again now and my Mum would be none the wiser that her car was a mobile knocking shop. Bonus. The next problem was when she returned home the next day and wanted to know why there were footprints on the passenger side windscreen? 
Another from a while back is when I had to go away for work so they put me up in a hotel. I was bored out of my mind, no pussy to sniff around so I started chatting to the guy serving me beer at the bar, after a few hours he had finished and asked if I wanted to come round to their halls for a house party. Fair plays to the guy, what a nice chap and all that. About 3 o'clock in the morning and everyone had trundled off to be leaving just me, him and his bird watching some dogshit sports thing on channel 5 or something. After a bit his Mrs put her hands right down the front of my pants and started to wank me off. Her boyfriend was beside her, now asleep. So to repay his generosity I fed my fingers up her cock-slot and got her worked up, she noshed me off whilst he was sat at the opposite end of the settee. I muttered to her that I wanted to bang her but there were no beds left, so she got up, lifted her skirt up, chucked her knickers away and got onto the settee opposite. It wasn't like I was being gentle with her either, I really was trying to smash the dirty slags pelvis. I was fucking this lovely little thing and all sorts of weird shit started going through my head 'I don't even know her name', 'What if he wakes up? Will I be kicked out of the Hotel? Hold on, if that happens I will be a legend at work - getting evicted from a Hotel for fucking their employees Mrs whilst he is asleep on the settee opposite' then the problematic one popped into my head 'What if he isn't asleep, what if they arrange shit like this because he likes to watch his Mrs get fucked by other blokes?'. I had to keep feeding it into her whilst also looking over to make sure that he was asleep and isn't sat there with one crafty eye open whilst purging himself off. A very strange feeling but she was another one that got a tw*t full of salty seed. Dirty slapper. Fit but properly dirty.
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Kathryn W
Member
Registered: 12th Oct 03
Location: Widnes, Cheshire
User status: Offline
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No - In a Relationship
Not used them for ages - I had a brief time where I had to come off the pill due to medical reasons and we tried it once with - farkk that!!
We did use them though in the early stages!
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dannymccann
Member
Registered: 9th Aug 06
Location: Doddington, Lincolnshire
User status: Offline
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No - In a relationship, shes on the pill
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Jake
Member
Registered: 24th Jan 05
User status: Offline
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LETGSI, your stories remind me of the chris akabusi diaries. I keep expecting you to say you patted them on the fanny afterwards
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MoesTavern
Member
Registered: 19th Jul 07
User status: Offline
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quote:
Originally posted by LETGSI16V
quote:
Originally posted by Budgie
LETGSI16V more stories please, they made me lol
Well my current empty is getting on a bit now as she turned 17 a couple of months back. She was still boxed until I got my hands on her though. She is a bit stuffy about sex, she won't let you smash her kipper out if her parents are in and she won't let me knob her on film either but she will let me spaff in her. Her fanny is properly tight though, like a Jewish accountants grip on a 50 pence piece, the only problem with that is that you have to be absolutely rock solid in order to get it up her otherwise it is akin to feeding a slug into a slot machine. About a month ago we were coming back from a night out sat at the top of the bus, right at the back, I had managed to give her a finger-banging and when the last people left the bus I convinced her to climb up for a rodding, she had been going a few minutes when another sodding bus stopped along side us, 3 lads all cheering and shouting out of the window. She wouldn't carry on after that, so we got off at Carpet World and I took her round the back and nailed her on some rollends that were around the side. Classy empty.
Another one worthy of mention is the bird I mentioned from the threesome. A right filthy slag. I first chucked one up her when she was 16 and she was already on the contraceptive injection then, Eric Bristows dartboard hasn't been hit by as many pricks as she has. Anyway, my car was knackered so I borrowed my Mums car and went up to give her a rattling before I dropped her off to go out with her Dad. She wasn't much cop at cock bouncing so I got her onto the passenger seat, wound the seat back down and climbed aboard, popping her legs over my shoulders then lobbed my goo up her. I remember dropping her off to see her Dad who thought she was still boxed and watching as she went in at the damp patch on her tight jeans. I drove off pissing myself that her Dad would probably now realise that she is getting ruined on a regular basis, feeling rather pleased with myself until my phone started ringing. I normally just put my phone on the seat so went to grab it in the dark and put my hand into a load of knob-vomit. The dirty bitch had let it trickle out all over my Mums car seat. My Mum would be using the car in the morning! Oh bollocks. I spent bloody hours driving round every petrol station I could until I finally found some upholstery cleaner, before I cleaned it I took a photo of the stain and sent it to her and her mate. I was back feeling smug again now and my Mum would be none the wiser that her car was a mobile knocking shop. Bonus. The next problem was when she returned home the next day and wanted to know why there were footprints on the passenger side windscreen?
Another from a while back is when I had to go away for work so they put me up in a hotel. I was bored out of my mind, no pussy to sniff around so I started chatting to the guy serving me beer at the bar, after a few hours he had finished and asked if I wanted to come round to their halls for a house party. Fair plays to the guy, what a nice chap and all that. About 3 o'clock in the morning and everyone had trundled off to be leaving just me, him and his bird watching some dogshit sports thing on channel 5 or something. After a bit his Mrs put her hands right down the front of my pants and started to wank me off. Her boyfriend was beside her, now asleep. So to repay his generosity I fed my fingers up her cock-slot and got her worked up, she noshed me off whilst he was sat at the opposite end of the settee. I muttered to her that I wanted to bang her but there were no beds left, so she got up, lifted her skirt up, chucked her knickers away and got onto the settee opposite. It wasn't like I was being gentle with her either, I really was trying to smash the dirty slags pelvis. I was fucking this lovely little thing and all sorts of weird shit started going through my head 'I don't even know her name', 'What if he wakes up? Will I be kicked out of the Hotel? Hold on, if that happens I will be a legend at work - getting evicted from a Hotel for fucking their employees Mrs whilst he is asleep on the settee opposite' then the problematic one popped into my head 'What if he isn't asleep, what if they arrange shit like this because he likes to watch his Mrs get fucked by other blokes?'. I had to keep feeding it into her whilst also looking over to make sure that he was asleep and isn't sat there with one crafty eye open whilst purging himself off. A very strange feeling but she was another one that got a tw*t full of salty seed. Dirty slapper. Fit but properly dirty.
Where are you getting these from?
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sand-eel
Member
Registered: 15th Mar 07
Location: carluke/braidwood--IRNBRULAND
User status: Offline
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LETGSI16V is a metaphor machine.
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am4nf
Member
Registered: 27th Jul 08
Location: South Ayrshire Drives: Corsa Sport
User status: Offline
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Ive put no - in a relationship as she used to be on the pill, but bought some from dan and are now going to start using them
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Limecat
Banned
Registered: 25th Jun 05
Location: The Internet
User status: Offline
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quote:
Originally posted by jake
LETGSI, your stories remind me of the chris akabusi diaries. I keep expecting you to say you patted them on the fanny afterwards
What's that when it is at home? 
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Budgie
Member
Registered: 2nd Dec 09
Location: Basingstoke
User status: Offline
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LETGSI16V= legend.
I could prob read a book of your shenanigans.
just the way you describe and word it, its just poetic mate
if you cant be arsed to make a book a thread will surfice
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LukeS
Member
Registered: 25th Nov 07
Location: Ormskirk
User status: Offline
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some of these replies are brilliant
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Limecat
Banned
Registered: 25th Jun 05
Location: The Internet
User status: Offline
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Budgie, sod doing a thread but I have posted previously about farting in my ex's mouth. 
http://www.corsasport.co.uk/board/viewthread.php?tid=535092&page=5
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deano87
Member
Registered: 21st Oct 06
Location: Bedfordshire Drives: Ford Fiesta
User status: Offline
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I chose Yes - In a relationship.
We mainly use one to save the mess, or if I want to keep going after firing the canon. That and to be double sure she doesn't get pregnant.
I've only ever had sex with my missus.
But fucking lol at those of you that use them for the money shot and nothing else. Did some of you never listen in sex ed at school? Sperm still dribbles out before the money shot as part of the natural lube, so you can still get them pregnant.
And I'll be damned trusting a girl to say she is on the pill. She might be, but who is to say she didn't forget that days because she woke up round some other blokes, or isn't taking it properly.
Then not to mention the threat of infection 
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Rickavo
Member
Registered: 2nd Jul 09
Location: Manchester
User status: Offline
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To much thought tbh
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deano87
Member
Registered: 21st Oct 06
Location: Bedfordshire Drives: Ford Fiesta
User status: Offline
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Oh, and and there is nothing worse than after sex with an Essex bird looking down at your cock and seeing a split condom.
Especially when you wasn't wearing one in the first place.
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Budgie
Member
Registered: 2nd Dec 09
Location: Basingstoke
User status: Offline
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quote:
Originally posted by LETGSI16V
Budgie, sod doing a thread but I have posted previously about farting in my ex's mouth.
http://www.corsasport.co.uk/board/viewthread.php?tid=535092&page=5
hahaha i knew i should of carried on reading that thread.
top work sir
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Joe
Member
Registered: 20th Jun 04
Location: Hesketh Bank, Lancashire
User status: Offline
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Deano you kill the passion in sex man!
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Rickavo
Member
Registered: 2nd Jul 09
Location: Manchester
User status: Offline
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quote:
Originally posted by Joe
Deano you kill the passion in sex man!
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deano87
Member
Registered: 21st Oct 06
Location: Bedfordshire Drives: Ford Fiesta
User status: Offline
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quote:
Originally posted by Joe
Deano you kill the passion in sex man!
tbh, pulling out and having to deal with a dripping sloppy fanny kills the passion more than pulling out with a condom on, binning it, then carrying on/falling asleep.
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Joe
Member
Registered: 20th Jun 04
Location: Hesketh Bank, Lancashire
User status: Offline
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Its the birds problem to deal with a sloppy fanny, do you never just get the urge and just go for it without worrying about pregnancy/aids/sloppy gash?!
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Danny P
Member
Registered: 20th Nov 02
Location: Cleckheaton, West Yorkshire
User status: Offline
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Normally use them if its with a random, although they can be a pain to get on when pissed 
On a condom related matter, I had this bird back to mine after the works x-mas do, anyways we were getting down to it and she told me to put on so I grabbed what I though was one from my bedside drawers.
She wanted to put it on for me, so I threw it to her and told her to "use this" which was cool until she opened it and it was a little packet of anal lube which went all over me, and the bed She went a bit mental and said if I thought I was getting some anal to think again. I tried to explain I had no idea why it was in there but she was having none of it, called me all sorts saying I thought she was a slag etc. and left
Couple of weeks ago i'd been to a gay bar (my mate is a bummer) and they were just handing condoms out and this lube stuff. When i'd got back I must have just thrown them in there thinking they were all jonnys Will have to remember to check stuff I get from there in the future.
*awaits piss taking for being in a gay bar*
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deano87
Member
Registered: 21st Oct 06
Location: Bedfordshire Drives: Ford Fiesta
User status: Offline
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quote:
Originally posted by Joe
Its the birds problem to deal with a sloppy fanny, do you never just get the urge and just go for it without worrying about pregnancy/aids/sloppy gash?!
Yeah, we often do. Been in the relationship 5 years. Often there is wet wipes and/or tissues to plug the hole. My misses gets the right hump if it all goes on the bed sheets. Somehow it is my fault
Ahhh, long term relationships.
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