Woody
USER UNDER INVESTIGATION - DO NOT TRADE
Registered: 7th Aug 10
Location: Fareham
User status: Offline
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and also dad trying to syth petrol out with a hole pipe haha !!! took a deep breath and loads petrol in his mouth was horrifd he was sick everywere !!
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johnhara1
Member
Registered: 19th Oct 06
Location: Newcastle upon Tyne
User status: Offline
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I helped a mate put a brand new clutch and reconditioned gearbox with upgraded bearings onto a 2.8 Renault Traffic LWB van in the street, on axle stands.
We put the box on but it wouldn't line up, it was approx 5mm out at the top and no matter how many times it came off n back on, it just wouldn't sit correct.
So in the end, he just started it up and it was noisey but drove ok. He was furious, called the company up who supplied the box and they were about to send another box.
He drove it about 10 miles and the clutch disintegrated! so we stripped it all out.
Turned out, there was a guide lug in the block for the box to sit on, and the new box had a lug left in the same hole so they were stopping it line up 
So we convinced the autofactors that the clutch was faulty and got another one for free £200 worth........
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johnhara1
Member
Registered: 19th Oct 06
Location: Newcastle upon Tyne
User status: Offline
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I was doing the head gasket on a neighbours xe corsa.
I nipped home for a breaker bar to remove the headbolts and told him to strip the loom off etc while i was away.
I came back and he'd removed the fuel lines etc but left the batt on, as i was getting out of my car his engine bay went up in flames, as did the carpet he had underneath to collect the oil etc.
I promptly reversed my alfa out of the way whilst he ran to get some water
That night he made a new loom
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Scotty_B
Member
Registered: 11th Jun 03
Location: East Kilbride
User status: Offline
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quote:
Originally posted by .Matt
Sneezed whilst under a car once, headbutted the underside. Wasn't best impressed.
Done that, 5 stitches needed.
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johnhara1
Member
Registered: 19th Oct 06
Location: Newcastle upon Tyne
User status: Offline
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I put an inline fuel filter on an old 8v corsa when i was 18. Didn't need one but it was there so fitted it.
I'd put it on the wrong way drove about a mile and the car died at traffic lights on a hill.
Felt like an idiot but luckily i was strong enough to push the car to a safe place.
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All Torque
Member
Registered: 17th Nov 05
Location: Milton Keynes Drives: Ford Focus TDCi
User status: Offline
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Left the oil cap off and drove 100 miles 
Worst I've done with with my Polo:
Changed the headlight bulb and put the cover on top of the airbox.... Fitted the bulb then slammed the bonnet = crushed the shit out of the cover and the airbox
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Josh Ack
Premium Member
Registered: 13th Apr 10
Location: Great Ayton, North Yorkshire
User status: Offline
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Changing oil on the 206, Took the sump plug off hand slipped off the allan key and sump plug landed in the oil. Reaction was put hand in to get the sump plug, forgot id just drove 10 miles, burnt all my hand and it stung for about 2 weeks.
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Phoenix Autosport
Member
Registered: 9th Oct 11
Location: Cambs / Northants
User status: Offline
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Working under the bonnet of a Capri with just an old bit of wood holding the bonnet up, cup of coffee balanced on the battery, mate tried starting it, coffee started vibrating to the edge of the battery so I went to grab it, knocked out the bit of wood and got a bonnet on my head, saved the coffee though
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tom130691
Premium Member
Registered: 13th Sep 08
Location: Daventry
User status: Offline
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quote:
Originally posted by FAZ
wheres tom with that pic of abe on 2 axle stands on opposite corners
how not to remove 4 stands
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flybikeslee
Member
Registered: 2nd Jan 07
Location: Liverpool
User status: Offline
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punching the floor always hurts when spanners slip. never really had much worse than that
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Stuart H
Member
Registered: 17th Jul 09
Location: lanark , scotland
User status: Offline
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Helping a mate put a gearbox on a vts , box was on , was underneath the car tightening something up , seen the car falling over . Got out just in time , extremely fucked chest / collar bone from the disc /strut basically landing on top of me.
I did tell him not to use axle stands on red stones , cunt lol
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johnhara1
Member
Registered: 19th Oct 06
Location: Newcastle upon Tyne
User status: Offline
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Today i put the head back on my x14sz put all the bolts in and started to nip them up only to realise i hadn't put the gasket on
Then i knocked a lifter and the little bit that sits on top of the valve fell down one of the galleries. Thankfully it came straight out with a long magnetic screwdriver.
Then whilst tightening the head bolts, i did the first stage 25nm and then the 1st stage of 60 degrees no problem. Started the 2nd stage and my neighbour pops her head over the fence and starts talking to me...........I completely forgot what bolt i was upto in the sequence. So i'll probably be doing this again in a couple weeks
If this runs ok when i time it up tomorrow i'll be impressed.
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Stu_22
Member
Registered: 25th Mar 02
Location: Luton
User status: Offline
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I was hammering out the collets on an bust X16XE head gave one a good whack expecting both collets to be out. When I looked one still has a grip then BANG it let go and valve spring smaked me in the eye hurt but eye ok
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Bmorgan1993
Member
Registered: 28th Sep 11
Location: Gloucester, Gloucestershire
User status: Offline
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was under the car taking out the bolts to release my gearbox to replace the clutch... friend of mine was on the top of the engine doing the same.. somehow managed to drop a cloud of black smut and engine dust into my eyes resulting in me screaming "OW" and banging my head on the gearbox.. was not best pleased! :L
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SteveoBC
Premium Member
Registered: 22nd Feb 07
Location: Bucks
User status: Offline
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Hi lads new one to add to the list for me
couple of weeks back pulled up at the pumps test driving the new XE warren swapped over for me
grabbed what i thought was premium petrol (had premium written on it).................turned out to be premium diesel! 
drove 200yards down the road and the car coughed and spluttered to a halt and had to be towed home by dad and his old astra by tow rope (luckily only 10mins away)
last week got a hand pump and sucked all the contaminated fuel out of the tank (easy access as i have no back seats) then re-filled to the top with super unleaded again and just finished changing the spark plugs and fuel filter
driven around for an hour, tiny bit smokey but funny enough the engine is as quiet as ever (probs the diesel gave it a bit of a lubrication lol who knows
so.....
total cost of mistake
diesel (not needed) £15
hand pump £17
fresh unleaded £30
fuel filter £9.50
new plugs £44.06
£115.56
i certainly wont be doing THAT again whoops!
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Toby
Premium Member
Registered: 29th Nov 05
User status: Offline
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biggest whoops moment:
Fitted a manifold and all the exhaust and lambda sensor didnt reach so had to take it all out again.
Biggest injury:
Fractured my wrist on a gearbox when the socket slipped.
Closest moment; Angle grinder bounced out my hands and landed on my shoe ans just missed my toes
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rickiek123
Member
Registered: 27th Mar 06
Location: Cumbria
User status: Offline
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Just got my corsa back from paint, putting the spoiler back on with the 10mm nuts....
so far so good... shut the boot to have a look if it looked ok, placed the spanner on the boot by the roof, then decided to open the boot with the spanner still there wich then wedged between the roof and the boot, dinting both and couldnt get it back out. Boot off and back to body shop! Pissed off was not the word.
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AndyCorsaSport
Member
Registered: 12th Feb 06
Location: Horsforth, West Yorkshire
User status: Offline
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Lad at my old place (painter) decided he would change the oil on his Clio 182, but not change the filter, so up in the air it went, took the sump plug off the gear box, drained it all out, then put 5 litres of oil in the engine! Luckily his dad noticed what he had done and stopped him before he caused any damage!!
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cunningham
Member
Registered: 25th May 05
Location: Lochore, Fife
User status: Offline
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oil change when i was 17. Came in to tell sis bf that my cars amazing as it took all 5ltrs of oil lol. He looked shocked and asked if i had started it luckily i hadnt.
Thermostat on punto had seized shut so taking 2 bolts out one of the heads snap. drilling out the old bolt never realised the head bolts are in line went to far and took a junk out of the head bolt snapping it in 2. dint realise till we stripped the head down because we thought the head gasket was away to find part of a head bolt sitting in the rocker cover lol
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Jonny.K
Member
Registered: 26th May 11
Location: Aberdeen City
User status: Offline
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lying underneath a corsa D tightening the last bolt on the underside wi the ratched n managed ti crack my self right in the teeth
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Anty
Premium Member
Registered: 19th Mar 08
Location: droitwich
User status: Offline
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Younger days.. Rover metro si 5dr drove off with the bootlid up lol i thought it was drafty
Astra..
locked my keys in the car, while fixing the wheels
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xa0s
Banned
Registered: 4th Mar 08
Location: Dartford, Kent Car: Turbo'd Fabia vRS
User status: Offline
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My RARB clamps came lose:
We do this kind of shit all the time... The other day my engine mount snapped and the engine fell off the mount so I drove up a massive curb then drove onto a brick so we could get a jack onto the sump so lift the engine back onto its mount:
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pow
Premium Member
Registered: 11th Sep 06
Location: Hazlemere, Buckinghamshire
User status: Offline
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The worse one I had was dong a brake fluid change on the KA.
Was just nipping up one of the bleed nipples when I slipped on the spanner, head into the arch and managed to spray/drip brake fluid in both eyes. God knows how. I paniced, lifted my head up, twatted my head on the arch.
Rung the local hospital as I wasn't sure what to do, they said come and and we'll clean your eyes out (they were stinging quite badly at this point). Asked Mum or Dad to take me, Dad had been on the lash the night before so wouldn't drive, Mum was farting around finding shoes and wouldn't drive my car so I jumped in my car and set a Windsor to Ascot record.
Had my eyes washed out with Iodine and then disinfected which meant I could see fuck all, the woman asked me who was taking me home, I said me in my car (to which she didn't look impressed). Waited 5 minutes for my vision to sort of come back and slowly drove home, very very blurry.
[Edited on 05-12-2011 by pow]
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Steve
Premium Member
Registered: 30th Mar 02
Location: Worcestershire Drives: Defender
User status: Offline
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Brakes fluid isn't that bad should have just rinsed with water would have been fine. Infact I think even on the bottle it just says rinse with water
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taylorboosh
Member
Registered: 3rd Apr 07
User status: Offline
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he couldnt read the bottle, his eyes were blurry mate
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