Edd
Member
Registered: 8th Nov 04
Location: Glasgow
User status: Offline
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never ever call tyres tyres in a fellow modders company always say rubber to maintain cool points
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CorsAsh
Member
Registered: 19th Apr 02
Location: Munich
User status: Offline
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quote:
Originally posted by Matt H
Crash your 1.4 106 due to torque steer
[Edited on 29-09-2006 by Matt H]
That's number 106 too 
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Matt H
Member
Registered: 11th Sep 01
Location: South Yorkshire
User status: Offline
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We've had the rear seat thing already
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gianluigi
Member
Registered: 9th Mar 05
Location: Ipswich, Suffolk
User status: Offline
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Only use optimax as it increases boost in your SXI
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gianluigi
Member
Registered: 9th Mar 05
Location: Ipswich, Suffolk
User status: Offline
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quote:
Originally posted by Matt H
We've had the rear seat thing already
no different situation, a certain user on here 
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Robin
Premium Member
Registered: 7th Jan 04
Location: Northants Drives: Clio 182 Cup
User status: Offline
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Luigi, i suggest you learn to read as well as spell 
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Matt H
Member
Registered: 11th Sep 01
Location: South Yorkshire
User status: Offline
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Drive with your windows down so the "rozzers" don't see your tints
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Robin
Premium Member
Registered: 7th Jan 04
Location: Northants Drives: Clio 182 Cup
User status: Offline
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quote:
Originally posted by Edd
never ever call tyres tyres in a fellow modders company always say rubber to maintain cool points
or shoes 
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Edd
Member
Registered: 8th Nov 04
Location: Glasgow
User status: Offline
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to take away the pain of your car having less than 90bhp always state how good it is on petrol
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Marc
Member
Registered: 11th Aug 02
Location: York
User status: Offline
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Enquire about fitting an intercooler to your SXi, and ask in Help Zone if its an easy job.
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Steve
Premium Member
Registered: 30th Mar 02
Location: Worcestershire Drives: Defender
User status: Offline
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..make your motto to only live your life a 1/4 mile at a time
[Edited on 29-09-2006 by Steve]
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Robin
Premium Member
Registered: 7th Jan 04
Location: Northants Drives: Clio 182 Cup
User status: Offline
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moto?
motorway services Steve?
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Edd
Member
Registered: 8th Nov 04
Location: Glasgow
User status: Offline
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own all the fast and the furious films, study them every night for driving tips
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gianluigi
Member
Registered: 9th Mar 05
Location: Ipswich, Suffolk
User status: Offline
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quote:
Originally posted by robmarriott
Luigi, i suggest you learn to read as well as spell
its friday 
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jr
Member
Registered: 20th May 02
Location: Kent
User status: Offline
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PMSL at 49, 50 and 74
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CorsAsh
Member
Registered: 19th Apr 02
Location: Munich
User status: Offline
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#1 Add a jet engine, flip it at 300mph
#2 Grow a ginger beard and learn to roundhouse kick stuff.
#3 Fit VTEC.
#4 fit civic lights to it regardless of how they fit
#5 put all the interior on the exterior, and have an interior like a ferrys exterior
#6 fit the 1st set of alloys you can get your hands on regardless of offset
#7 Refer to your car as your "ride" regardless to the fact that you don't actually ride a car
#8 u2u g@z
#9 Make your own in-car driving video and call it "Boys have fun"
#10 Join http://www.VAGweb.co.uk
#11 Fit a shit exhaust
#12 Make wide arches out of expanding foam
#13 ring vauxhall to get a working flux capacitor
#14 Put your back seats down to reduce weight and improve performance - Whilst fitting a rather heavy sub and amp to your car
#15 Fit a Cossie cone, just because they're so damn cool.
#16 Stick on random VXR, turbo, GSi, TypeR badges as you see fit
#17 Fit a bfo exhaust because it means big 'fuck' off and you like swearing
#18 fit a multitude of stickers even if you dont actually own anything from the companies youre promoting
#19 Fit a sock to induction system & wonder why the car doesn't work properly
#20 Attempt to fit a dump valve to your 1.2 8v, your mate did it he said it was easy
#21 Stick a cd to your horn to bling your car up that extra bit.
#22 stick tights over your headlights for that genuine tineted look
#23 Realise dumpvalves only work on turbo cars, purchase fake electric sound dump valve from ebay
#24 video yourself doing 130mph in third gear
#25 Gain 10-15% in performance for just £4.50 on ebay
#26 If you are asian, put a gold decorative tissue box on your parcel shelf
#27 Let a 16 year old girl drive and crash your car cos you want to have sex with her
#28 Fit rubstrips
#29 Lie about owning a Calibra
#30 Cover your boring grey parcel shelf with an England flag
#31 Buy a BMW 316 add m3 badges
#32 Hang CD from rear view mirror
#33 Want to own a CTR
#34 ...or a blue Impreza with Gold wheels and a Prodrive jacket
#35 Angle seat backwards
#36 Use only one hand to steer
#37 Fit leather look seat covers from Argos
#38 master the art of drifting using 2 mcdonalds tray's
#39 Get told daily that 106s are better
#40 Debadge car.....only to fit a sticker 100 times as big saying the same thing as the badge did
#41 Fit DIY tints as they are P.I.M.P
#42 fit a gsi kit and speedlines?
#43 fit a non-working roof scoop
#44 get chinese motif's all over your bonnet when you're quite clearly white
#45 Start your own online Corsa community
#46 Enquire about possible turbo conversion for 1.2 engines
#47 Buy leafblower electric supercharger from eBay
#48 Remove two HT leads so your 1.0 sounds like a Subaru
#49 be deluded into thinking the GSi is actually quick
#50 ...then start smallblockxe.com
#51 Fit caliper covers to make it look like you have 4 pots
#52 ...and fake rear discs...
#53 Fit alloys before lowering
#54 Cut springs as lowering kits cost too much
#55 Wonder why your suspension fell out...
#56 sex wee at the sight of Carbon Fibre
#57 criticise martin c for having a crap car when owning a 1997 white corsa merit.
#58 Use chicken wire instead of mesh
#59 Fit a whale tail
#60 Claim to have a 2.0 8v that does 140mph
#61 Drink Carling at a cruise
#62 Flash your eggy breasts at a cruise
#63 Fit a twin upswept DTM in the middle of the back bumper
#64 Fit a huge dual exit in the middle of your GSi's rear bumper
#65 post pics of your X14XE doing 127mph.
#66 advise people not to rev over 2krpm when the engine is cold
#67 call GTX Magnatec a marketing gimmick
#68 think that octane booster or super unleaded makes a difference on your 1.2 8v
#69 put SRi badges on your Corsa C, because you believe it's faster than an SXi
#70 make a tongue shaped bonnet
#71 inability to spell is a must
#72 make a hans solo stuck in metal in your bonnet
#73 if you dont have foglights install some then break the switch so they never go off (even in broad daylight)
#74 "strip" your car of all needless electrical wiring even though you have no experience of auto electrics
#75 wire up your fuel pump relay to the rear foglight switch.
#76 …then post thread in HZ asking why your car wont start
#77 …or post it in gc saying "i know it shouldnt be in here, but..."
#78 sit on roundabouts that are powered by mopeds
#79 buy shares in Ripspeed
#80 buy ANYTHING in Ripspeed
#81 invest in some “Tireflies”
#82 state at least once that the all corsa 8v engines are "bulletproof"
#83 Campaigne the issue that 1.2 8v SXI's exist
#84 spend your saturday flicking through Halfords lexus lights catalogue and admiring the Peco exhausts
#85 Take pictures of your new Peco exhaust & lexus lights in pitch black with the flash on
#86 read the guide for the paperclip test but understand none of it then still go to Vauxhall
#87 lie consistantly about you cars performance figures stating "dont know what the previous owner done to it but its rapid"
#88 take a picture of your 'new' wheels, just resting against your car
#89 your 1.4 16v Sport IS faster than a pulsar GTIR. Tell everyone.
#90 fit seatbelt covers
#91 show everyone your superior car knowledge by always calling the nova the corsa a
#92 Identify yourself as a Corsa Whore by telling people how the ashtray differs between later and earlier Corsa Bs…
#93 double your cars value by adding random fibreglass
#94 Go as fast as you can past a primary school to impress the young girls
#95 …then crash into some railings and claim it was only at 15mph…
#96 always state in "k's" how much money you've spent on your car
#97 and if its not upto the value of a 'k,' its 'bar.'
#97 attend an East Anglia meet wearing a new silver braclet that will, during the day, eventually turn your wrist green
#100 wire up LEDS directly to the car battery
#101 Add all the bhp of your individual mods together, we all know thats how you work out the power figure
#102 have more TV's in your car than you do in your house
#103 buy a Fast and Furious style rev counter thats bigger than your dash
#104 make your own stealth shelf with a pair of your mums tights
#105 combine expensive cars with corsas, eg. a Jaguar and a Corsa
#106 Crash your 1.4 106 due to torque steer
#107 Stress that your car is really fast for what it is
#108 Tell everyone how you beat a more powerful car on twisty B roads by taking the “racing line”
#109 drill your airbox on the side next to the engine
#110 ask how much power gains you will get from Splitfire spark plugs
#111 Get ross to take pics of your car, and post them up
#112 prepare for Ross to get annoyed for you breaching his copywrite.
#113 have a crap education, make this obvious by the blatant mispelling of the word copyright
#144 realise your mistake and but a universal induction kit from E-bay which luckily improves the cars responsiveness
#115 Say "each to their own" when discussing an ugly car
#116 drive round with no fuel in the tank to save weight
#117 never ever call tyres tyres in a fellow modders company always say rubber to maintain cool points
#118 Drive with your windows down so the "rozzers" don't see your tints
#119 to take away the pain of your car having less than 90bhp always state how good it is on petrol
#120 Enquire about fitting an intercooler to your SXi, and ask in Help Zone if its an easy job.
#121 make your motto to only live your life a 1/4 mile at a time
#122 own all the fast and the furious films, study them every night for driving tips
#123 …then trawl ebay to find a 38 speed gearbox like those in the films
#124 u2u EVERYONE selling ANYTHING in classifieds
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Steve
Premium Member
Registered: 30th Mar 02
Location: Worcestershire Drives: Defender
User status: Offline
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..install nitrous oxide, then, whilst parked on the side of a dual carraigeway scream "I think iv just blown the welds on the intake"
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gianluigi
Member
Registered: 9th Mar 05
Location: Ipswich, Suffolk
User status: Offline
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#125..u2u'd 
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jr
Member
Registered: 20th May 02
Location: Kent
User status: Offline
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at steve
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jr
Member
Registered: 20th May 02
Location: Kent
User status: Offline
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reply on a thread telling someone you've u2u'd them 
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Edd
Member
Registered: 8th Nov 04
Location: Glasgow
User status: Offline
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refurb your alloys with nothing more than a spray can from halfords
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jr
Member
Registered: 20th May 02
Location: Kent
User status: Offline
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Make important decisions about you life by starting a poll in GC
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Steve
Premium Member
Registered: 30th Mar 02
Location: Worcestershire Drives: Defender
User status: Offline
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..loosen the floorpan in your car, then whilst your doing 90mph kick it down to create sparks on the road (especially effective at nght)
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gianluigi
Member
Registered: 9th Mar 05
Location: Ipswich, Suffolk
User status: Offline
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quote:
Originally posted by Steve
..loosen the floorpan in your car, then whilst your doing 90mph kick it down to create sparks on the road (especially effective at nght)
who did this? 
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Ojc
Member
Registered: 14th Nov 00
Location: Reading: Drives : Clio 197
User status: Offline
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#19
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