Mad Moe
Member
Registered: 14th Jun 01
Location: Northumberland
User status: Offline
|
The Gary Neville Diaries
Monday April 19 2004
It's been another difficult week for the Neviller. Here's his
in-no-way-made-up-at-all diary of a week of devastation after David's
betrayal with yukky girls...
Monday
Still can't believe he sent those text messages to yukky girls too. Everyone
knows girls smell. Have been crying every night for a week. Told Mum it was
Phil's fault and she made him stand in the corner. Even when his wife was there. Ha.
Still got one text message from him. The special one - 'I'm going to hold
you down and **** your *******'.
Later: Have looked in Mum's crossword dictionary. Thicko spelt 'shave' and
'moustache' wrong.
Tuesday
"And the ball falls to the brilliant Gary Neville with his lovely thick
moustache and he makes no mistake and lashes home the ball. The crowd go
wild - there's nobody these Old Trafford fans love more than Gary
Neville...And there's Sir Alex Ferguson with a tear in his eye. He loves
Gary and his thick moustache like a son..."
Sir even patted me on the back and said 'Well done, Phil'.
Bet Rebecca 'Stinky' Loos (ha) couldn't score against Leicester.
Wednesday
Gave Sir the tea cosy I knitted to match the doilies. Think he liked it
because I saw him smile when he showed it to Keano. Maybe I should do one
for him too. In green Then maybe he won't tie my shoelaces together again
Went to Mum's for tea. Ran the length of the kitchen to appeal her decision
to let Phil lick out the cake bowl. Made Mum cry but at least I got to lick
out the bowl!
Moustache definitely looks thicker today.
Thursday
Said 'howdy' to Tim in training and he told me to '****ing **** off you
little ****'. Said 'yo' to Rio and he said exactly the same. Maybe this
Tourettes thing is spreading. Would tell Sir but think he's got it too.
Saw 'Stinky' Loos on TV. She looks really smelly. Tried to draw a little
moustache (not mustach, thicko) on her face but she kept moving.
Update: This marker was permanent. Mum says I need to buy her a new TV.
Friday
Not fair, not fair, not fair. Graham Poll is in the papers saying I'm a
diver but Mum says I can't call The Sun and say he's got a big bum. It's not
fair because he started it. And he has got a big bum.
Saturday
"And the ball falls to the brilliant Gary Neville with his lovely thick
moustache and he tries an audacious overhead kick. Is nothing beyond the
talents of Old Trafford's favourite son? But a cheating, handballing nobody
who plays for a nothing team pushes the ball over the bar to deny brave
Neville, his thick moustache and the greatest team in the whole wide world
yet another goal..."
The referee didn't crack like Mum did. He didn't even cry. Gave Matt 'Who?'
Taylor my nastiest glare after the game. And then I saw his Mum and glared
at her too. His Dad was bigger than me so stopped there.
Sunday
There's another yukky girl in the papers telling yukky stories about how
yukky David made her feel so yucking special. How can he do this to me?
Watched a programme about skin grafts - they take the skin from a place that
nobody sees and put it in the place where you need the skin. Has given me an
idea about thickening my moustache...
|
Shane
Member
Registered: 10th Jan 04
User status: Offline
|
posted b4 i think
|
liamC
Member
Registered: 28th Feb 04
User status: Offline
|
Love the Neville diaries. 
|
TNM
Member
Registered: 5th Apr 04
Location: Nottingham Drives: VW Tiguan
User status: Offline
|
lol
|
Shelly
Premium Member
Registered: 15th Nov 00
Location: Lancashire Drives: Astra H VXR
User status: Offline
|
wierd 
|
Ojc
Member
Registered: 14th Nov 00
Location: Reading: Drives : Clio 197
User status: Offline
|
Top bollocks
|
