LoudandProud
Member
Registered: 12th Jan 01
Location: Stanway, Essex
User status: Offline
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Similar one to the last one, Theres a lil kid called andy and he has no arms or legs, he gets a knock on his door so his mum answers his mate said " can andy ome out and play?" his mum says no he has no arms or legs!" this happens about 5 more times..... then when he comes to the door again his mum says " why do u want him out he has no arms or legs what could u play with him?" his mate replies........" were playing war and i wanna use him as a sand bag!" 
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Youth
Member
Registered: 18th Dec 02
Location: Spennymoor
User status: Offline
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some of these jokes r good some are crap and some r sick
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vibrio
Banned
Registered: 28th Feb 01
Location: POAH
User status: Offline
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[Edited on 29-11-2003 by vibrio]
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Dr Pepper
Member
Registered: 21st Sep 02
Location: oxford Drives Renault Clio RS200
User status: Offline
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have you heard about evil kinevils long lost american cousin- ku klux kinevil
....he tried to jump over a thousand black americans with a steamroller lol
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Patrick
Member
Registered: 25th Apr 02
Location: SE London
User status: Offline
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What is white and comes out of cows?
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Adam-D
Member
Registered: 11th May 02
Location: Cheshire
User status: Offline
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milk
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Patrick
Member
Registered: 25th Apr 02
Location: SE London
User status: Offline
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No...
The Isle of Wight ferries!
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Adam-D
Member
Registered: 11th May 02
Location: Cheshire
User status: Offline
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there not white there a brown rusty couler
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Phil Hall
Member
Registered: 28th Sep 01
Location: Belfast
User status: Offline
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James Bond goes into a Casino and sits down at the roulette table beside this classy looking blonde. He gives her a good looking over, looking up and down her slender body for a few minutes while fiddling with his fancy watch.
The woman is entrigued by him and after a few minutes askes him " has your date for this evening let you down?" No, he replies I'm just playing with my new watch, it's the very latest in gadget technology. The blonde starts to giggle and asks him whats so special about the watch. Bond replies, " well you see it comunicates to my brian via alpha waves giving me important information" "And whats it saying now then?" askes the blonde. "Its telling me that you are wearing no knickers" says Bond. She giggles again and says "I'm sorry sir but your new watch must be brocken because I definately have my knickers on!"
Bond looks at the watch..........taps it, and says " Damn thing muct be an hour fast!"
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drunkenfool
Member
Registered: 7th Feb 03
Location: Hereford Drives: Audi R8 V8
User status: Offline
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Welsh Dan
Member
Registered: 23rd Mar 00
User status: Offline
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Paul McCartney bought Heather a new wooden leg for xmas. Its not much, just a stocking filler.............
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vibrio
Banned
Registered: 28th Feb 01
Location: POAH
User status: Offline
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quote:
Originally posted by kerzo
Ok i will start.
A guy walks into a bar and says ouch!!! no really though.........
A guy walks into a bar and asks for an aftershock. The barman agrees and sets it down to him. The guy drinks it and then asks for another one...then another...then another.....then another. After that the barman asks him why he is taking these and he replies.... "First ever blowjob". The barman then congratulates him and offers another aftershock on teh house but the guy refuses and says... "if 5 aftershocks don't get the taste out of my mouth then nothing will!!!"
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Born_corsa02
Member
Registered: 20th Dec 02
Location: Essex
User status: Offline
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Whats 40ft long and stinks of piss O.A.P's doin the congo
Why do elepahnts mate under water- have u tried keepin a 3tonne clitorus wet
A man goes to the doctor and says doctor every time i look in the mirror i get an erection- the doctor replies thats cos u look like a cunt
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groom
Member
Registered: 19th Apr 03
Location: In front of my pc
User status: Offline
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A man enters his favourite restaurant and while sitting at his regular
table, he notices a gorgeous woman sitting at a nearby table all alone.
He calls the waiter over and asks for their most expensive bottle of Merlot
to be sent over to her knowing that, if she accepts it, she is his.
The waiter gets the bottle and quickly sends it over to the woman, saying
this is from the gentleman over there. She looks at the wine and sends a
note over to the man. The note reads:
'For me to accept this bottle, you need to have a Mercedes in your garage,
a million Rand in the bank, and seven inches in your pants."
The man, after reading her note, chuckles, and sends a note of his own back
to her, and we quote:
'Just so you know, I happen to have a Ferrari Testarosa, a BMW 850iL and a
Mercedes 600SL in my garage, and I have over twenty-five million dollars in
the bank.
'....But, not even for a woman as beautiful as you, would I cut three
inches off.'
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ross9000
Member
Registered: 20th Jul 03
Location: Dundee, Scotland
User status: Offline
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Whats so good about shaggin twenty eight year olds?
theres 20 of them
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Jamie
Member
Registered: 1st Apr 02
Location: Aberdeen
User status: Offline
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Welsh Dan
Member
Registered: 23rd Mar 00
User status: Offline
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quote:
Originally posted by ross9000
Whats so good about shaggin twenty eight year olds?
theres 20 of them
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Adam-CorsaC18s
Member
Registered: 7th Apr 03
Location: Royston, South Yorkshire
User status: Offline
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How do you make a schoolgirl cry twice?
Wipe the bloody of your knob onto her favourite teddy bear.
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