Scottydoo
Banned
Registered: 6th Oct 04
Location: Scotland
User status: Offline
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A Glesga Burd goes tae the social tae register fur child benefit.
"How many children?" asks the civil servant "10" replies the girl.
"10???" says the civil servant.. "What are their names?"
"Alec, Alec, Alec, Alec, Alec, Alec, Alec, Alec, Alec and.....eh...Alec"
"Doesn't that get confusing?"
"Naw..." says the girl "its great because if thur oot playin in the
street,ah jist huv tae shout ALEC, YER DINNER'S READY or ALEC, GO TO BED NOW
'n'they aw dae it..."
"What if you want to speak to one individually?" says the perturbed civil
servant
"at's easy," says the girl... "Ah just use thur surnames"
********************
A Glesga burd walks into the local dry cleaners. She places a garment on the
counter. Ah'll be back ra morra efternin tae pick up ma dress."she says.
"Come again?" says the clerk, cupping his ear.
"Naw" she replies.
"This time it's mayonnaise."
****************
Glesga burd enters a sex shop & asks for a vibrator.
The man says "Choose from our range on the wall."
She says "Gies that rid yin"
The man replies "That's a fire extinguisher."
****************
A Glesga burd is involved in a nasty car crash and is trapped and bleeding.
The paramedics soon arrive on site.
Medic: "It's OK I'm a paramedic and I'm going to ask you some questions?"
Girl: "OK"
Medic: "What's your name?"
Girl: "Morag."
Medic: "OK Morag, is this your car?"
Morag: "Yes."
Medic: "Where are you bleeding from?"
Morag: "Springburn."
*****************
A Glesga burd was driving down the M8 when her car phone rang. It was her
boyfriend, urgently warning her, "Listen Doll, I just heard on the news that
thur's a motor gawn the wrang wie oan the M8. Better watch yersel'!"
"It's no' jist wan motor!" said the girl, "There's fu***n'hunners, argh!
thump!"
********************
Another Gelsga burd was involved in a serious crash; there's blood
everywhere.
The paramedics arrive and drag the girl out of the car till she's lying flat
out on the floor.
Medic: "OK, I'm going to check if you're concussed."
Danielle: "Ok."
Medic: "Ok the how many fingers am I putting up?"
Danielle: "Oh my god I'm paralysed from the waist down!"
******************
A Glesga burd and a Weegie guy are in a bar when the girl notices something
strange about the Nikes the guy is wearing. She says, "Here mate, ah
no'tryin tae take the piss ur any'hin lik' that, but how come you've goat an
L oan wan ae yur gutties 'n' an R oan the other wan?"
So the guy smiles, puts down his bottle of cider and replies, "Coz I'm a bit
thick so Ah huv tae huv an L oan ma left fit 'n' an R oan ma ma right wan."
"F*** sake" exclaims the girl "So thats how ma thongs've goat C&A oan thum!"
 
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Nismo
Member
Registered: 12th Sep 02
User status: Offline
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Tom
Member
Registered: 3rd Apr 02
Location: Wirral, Merseyside
User status: Offline
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They're fucking class,
I wana glesga bird  the first ones the best btw or the last
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Hammer
Member
Registered: 11th Feb 04
User status: Offline
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big eck
Member
Registered: 20th Apr 03
Location: Tullibody. Drives - Audi B8 S4 & Fiesta Zetec-S
User status: Offline
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Icy
Member
Registered: 31st Jan 01
Location: Edinburgh Drives: Mk3 Golf Gti
User status: Offline
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Scotty_B
Member
Registered: 11th Jun 03
Location: East Kilbride
User status: Offline
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Jason Iles
Member
Registered: 19th Jun 01
Location: Bristol
User status: Offline
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I don't understand a single word of that
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--Dave--
Banned
Registered: 17th Feb 04
Location: Essssseeeeex Drives: Black Supra TT
User status: Offline
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me neither but I'll laugh anyway
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goldfish
Banned
Registered: 7th Feb 03
Location: we have a grass in CS he is a chav
User status: Offline
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mossy
Member
Registered: 22nd Jan 04
Location: Manchester Drives: GSi
User status: Offline
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whats a gelsga burd? 
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Alex
Member
Registered: 9th Feb 03
Location: Nottingham
User status: Offline
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quote:
Originally posted by mossy
whats a gelsga burd?
i didnt want to ask this but i dont know either
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leeshez
Member
Registered: 3rd May 01
Location: Great Harwood, Lancashire
User status: Offline
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Sam
Moderator
Premium Member
Registered: 24th Dec 99
Location: West Midlands
User status: Offline
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Glasgow...
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Scottydoo
Banned
Registered: 6th Oct 04
Location: Scotland
User status: Offline
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quote:
Originally posted by J 11ESY
I don't understand a single word of that
awkt aye tha noo - ken
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Sam
Moderator
Premium Member
Registered: 24th Dec 99
Location: West Midlands
User status: Offline
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quote:
Originally posted by Scottydoo
quote:
Originally posted by J 11ESY
I don't understand a single word of that
awkt aye tha noo - ken
"Nae bother"...
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Adam-D
Member
Registered: 11th May 02
Location: Cheshire
User status: Offline
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how do scoooby dude
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Gez G
Member
Registered: 12th May 04
Location: Glasgow
User status: Offline
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Pmsl @ the southern softies not understanding a word of this!!
So true in everyday life, although you do get some classy chicks in "Glesga" too, esp the ones from Bearsden or the Mearns!
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AK
Member
Registered: 5th Jul 00
Location: Aberdeen City
User status: Offline
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ptfff.. all folk from Glasgow, fuck that.... the west, are puddins, ken
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