Darren
Member
Registered: 21st Apr 02
Location: Hadleigh, Suffolk
User status: Offline
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HELPDESK LOG...
Helpdesk: What kind of computer do you have?
Female customer: A white one...
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Hi, this is Celine. I can't get my diskette out.
Helpdesk: Have you tried pushing the button?
Customer: Yes, sure, it's really stuck.
Helpdesk: That doesn't sound good; I'll make a note ..."
Customer: No ... wait a minute... I hadn't inserted it yet... it's still on my desk... sorry .
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Helpdesk: Click on the 'my computer' icon on to the left of the screen.
Customer: Your left or my left?
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Helpdesk: Good day. How may I help you?
Male customer: Hello... I can't print.
Helpdesk: Would you click on start for me and ...
Customer: Listen pal; don't start getting technical on me! I'm not Bill Gates damn it!
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Hi good afternoon, this is Martha, I can't print. Every time I try it says 'Can't find printer'. I've even lifted the printer and placed it in front of the monitor, but the computer still says he can't find it...
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Customer: I have problems printing in red...
Helpdesk: Do you have a color printer?
Customer: Aaaah....................thank you.
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Helpdesk: What's on your monitor now ma'am?
Customer: A teddy bear my boyfriend bought for me in the supermarket.
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Helpdesk: And now hit F8.
Customer: It's not working.
Helpdesk: What did you do, exactly?
Customer: I hit the F-key 8-times as you told me, but nothing's happening...
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Customer: My keyboard is not working anymore.
Helpdesk: Are you sure it's plugged into the computer?
Customer: No. I can't get behind the computer.
Helpdesk: Pick up your keyboard and walk 10 paces back.
Customer: OK
Helpdesk: Did the keyboard come with you?
Customer: Yes
Helpdesk: That means the keyboard is not plugged in. Is there another keyboard?
Customer: Yes, there's another one here. Ah...that one does work!
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Helpdesk: Your password is the small letter a as in apple, a capital letter V as in Victor, the number 7.
Customer: Is that 7 in capital letters?
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A customer couldn't get on the internet.
Helpdesk: Are you sure you used the right password?
Customer: Yes I'm sure. I saw my colleague do it.
Helpdesk: Can you tell me what the password was?
Customer: Five stars.
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Helpdesk: What antivirus program do you use?
Customer: Netscape.
Helpdesk: That's not an antivirus program.
Customer: Oh, sorry...Internet Explorer.
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Customer: I have a huge problem. A friend has placed a screensaver on my computer, but every time I move the mouse, it disappears!
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Helpdesk: Microsoft Tech. Support, may I help you?
Old woman: Good afternoon! I have waited over 4 hours for you. Can you please tell me how long it will take before you can help me?
Helpdesk: Uhh..? Pardon, I don't understand your problem?
Old woman: I was working in Word and clicked the help button more than 4 hours ago. Can you tell me when you will finally be helping me?
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Helpdesk: How may I help you?
Customer: I'm writing my first e-mail.
Helpdesk: OK, and, what seems to be the problem?
Customer: Well, I have the letter a, but how do I get the circle around it?
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Adam
Member
Registered: 1st May 01
Location: Hurstbourne Tarrant
User status: Offline
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Reading this reminded me of http://chroniclesofgeorge.nanc.com/ was the funniest site I've ever seen and it's gone 
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Stuckey
Member
Registered: 5th Jun 02
Location: Plumstead, Greater London
User status: Offline
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when i worked in IT support two of the funniest were
"my computer has a virus, everytime i leave it on overnight, i come bakc in the morning and fish are swimming about on my screen"
and one i took myself
him - i cannot connect to the internet
me - what lights are flashing on your modem?
him - none
me - can you see a button on the top of your modem? push that for me please"
him - all the lights have come on now, and the internet works
me - yes, you didnt switch your modem on
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Stuckey
Member
Registered: 5th Jun 02
Location: Plumstead, Greater London
User status: Offline
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quote:
Originally posted by Adam
Reading this reminded me of http://chroniclesofgeorge.nanc.com/ was the funniest site I've ever seen and it's gone
http://www.modemhelp.net/humor.shtml
try that,
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LukeGSi
Member
Registered: 9th Dec 03
User status: Offline
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Customer: My keyboard is not working anymore.
Helpdesk: Are you sure it's plugged into the computer?
Customer: No. I can't get behind the computer.
Helpdesk: Pick up your keyboard and walk 10 paces back.
Customer: OK
Helpdesk: Did the keyboard come with you?
Customer: Yes
Helpdesk: That means the keyboard is not plugged in. Is there another keyboard?
Customer: Yes, there's another one here. Ah...that one does work!
I love this one 
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Cybermonkey
Member
Registered: 22nd Sep 02
Location: Sydney, Australia
User status: Offline
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quote:
Originally posted by Adam
Reading this reminded me of http://chroniclesofgeorge.nanc.com/ was the funniest site I've ever seen and it's gone
Works for me 
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LukeGSi
Member
Registered: 9th Dec 03
User status: Offline
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Me too 
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Dan B
Member
Registered: 25th Feb 01
User status: Offline
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http://www.rinkworks.com/stupid/
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Jodi_the_g
Member
Registered: 7th Aug 01
Location: Washington D.C
User status: Offline
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I had some classic ones when I worked on a help desk.
As I had admin rights I often had people ring up for name changes after marraige.
One day get a women ring up give me her employee number,type it in and get a blokes name, question it and find out it was bloke who had sex xhange.
The other one was a woman who rang up saying my foot pedal does not work, I like what the fuck, thinking she is a special needs user, turns out she put her mouse on the floor.
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Cybermonkey
Member
Registered: 22nd Sep 02
Location: Sydney, Australia
User status: Offline
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by the way, chronicles of george is the funniest thing ever
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Dan B
Member
Registered: 25th Feb 01
User status: Offline
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quote:
Originally posted by Cybermonkey24
by the way, chronicles of george is the funniest thing ever
Absolutely superb! Only because I used to work with someone who was similar to George......nowhere near as bad, but still amusing!
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