Shelly
Premium Member
Registered: 15th Nov 00
Location: Lancashire Drives: Astra H VXR
User status: Offline
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TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN
Take off clothing and place it in the sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks. Walk into bathroom wearing long dressing gown. If you see your husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas. Look at your womanly physique in the mirror. Make a mental note, must do more sit-ups. Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone.
Wash your hair with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins. Wash your hair again to make sure its clean. Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced with natural avocado oil. Leave for 15 minutes.
Wash your face with crushed Apricot kernel facial scrub for 14 minutes until face is red. Wash the entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash. Rinse conditioner off hair, making sure that it is all gone.
Shave armpits and legs. Consider shaving bikini line but decide to get it waxed instead. Scream loudly when your husband flushes the toilet and you lose water pressure. Turn off shower. Squeegee off all the wet surfaces in the shower and spray mould with Domestos. Get out of the shower. Dry with a towel the size of a small country. Wrap hair in super absorbent second towel. Check entire body for any signs of any signs of a zit.
Tweeze hairs. Return to the bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head. If you see your husband along the way, cover any exposed areas then sashay to the bedroom. Take an hour and a half to get dressed.
HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN
Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed. Leave them in a pile on the floor. Walk naked to the bathroom. If you see wife along the way, shake dick at her, making the "woo woo" sound. Look at your
manly physique in the mirror and suck in your gut. Check to see if you have pecs (NO). Admire the size of your dick in the mirror and scratch your ass.
Get in the shower. ! Don't bother to look for a wash cloth because you don't use one. Wash your face. Wash your armpits. Blow your nose in your hands, and then let the water rinse the snot off. Crack up at how loud
your farts sound in the shower and then realise you shouldn't do it in a confined space. The majority of the time is spent washing your privates and surrounding area, wash your butt, leaving plenty of coarse hairs in the soap.
Shampoo hair, do not use conditioner. make a shampoo mohawk.
Peek out of the shower and look at yourself in the mirror again, pee in the shower. Rinse off and get out of the shower. Fail to notice the water on the floor because you left the curtain hanging out of the tub.
Partially dry off. Look at yourself in the mirror. Flex muscles. Admire the dick size again. Leave the shower curtain open and the wet bath mat on the floor. Leave the bathroom fan and light on. Return to the bedroom with the
towel around your waist. If you pass your wife - pull the towel off, ! shake dick at her and make the "woo woo" sound again. Throw the wet towel on the bed. Take two minutes to get dressed.
SO TRUE!
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ajscorsa
Member
Registered: 30th Apr 02
Location: Perceton, North Ayrshire
User status: Offline
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yup so true.
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GT4Brody
Member
Registered: 26th Sep 01
Location: south
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Hehehe, pmsl that is so true
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Keeley
Member
Registered: 30th Aug 02
Location: West Midlands
User status: Offline
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lol
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Makarus
Member
Registered: 25th Jun 02
Location: Nottingham/Derbyshire Boarder.
User status: Offline
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Very funny, very true aswell.
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Nismo
Member
Registered: 12th Sep 02
User status: Offline
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To true
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C()RSA
Member
Registered: 11th Dec 02
Location: Milton Keynes
User status: Offline
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lol, thats so true...
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Lynny
Member
Registered: 3rd Jan 03
Location: oop north! Where people talk properly
User status: Offline
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Many truths in there, but fuck u wouldnt catch me pissing in the shower,
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LoudCorsa
Member
Registered: 17th Jun 01
Location: Essex, Drives a Saxo Furio
User status: Offline
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well i have never showered like a woman but i see nothing wrong with the blokes one 'woo hoo'
chaz
www.woah.co.uk
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dragoncorsa
Member
Registered: 2nd May 02
Location: manchester, GSImerit??????
User status: Offline
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wow do women really use all that sh1te discribed in there! explains y they take so long, y get on ya own i get shower wid the misses, she cleans everythin lol, y i dont no cos we only get mucky afterwards again
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Shelly
Premium Member
Registered: 15th Nov 00
Location: Lancashire Drives: Astra H VXR
User status: Offline
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nooo... ive just got Ted Baker Woman shower gel... and can't be arsed with putting that crap on my face.
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Jamie
Member
Registered: 1st Apr 02
Location: Aberdeen
User status: Offline
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"woo woo"
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Shelly
Premium Member
Registered: 15th Nov 00
Location: Lancashire Drives: Astra H VXR
User status: Offline
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*closes eyes* arrrghhhh put it away.
men look better with clothes ON
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Andy Stocker
Member
Registered: 31st Aug 00
Location: Herts Drives: Porsche 911
User status: Offline
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Who masturbates in the shower??
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Shelly
Premium Member
Registered: 15th Nov 00
Location: Lancashire Drives: Astra H VXR
User status: Offline
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that was a conversation killer...
just looks like your owning up to this one Andy
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Jamie
Member
Registered: 1st Apr 02
Location: Aberdeen
User status: Offline
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Can i shower with you Shelly?
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Andy Stocker
Member
Registered: 31st Aug 00
Location: Herts Drives: Porsche 911
User status: Offline
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I'm not denying it
Just wanted to know if anyone else did
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Shelly
Premium Member
Registered: 15th Nov 00
Location: Lancashire Drives: Astra H VXR
User status: Offline
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quote: Originally posted by J-Me
Can i shower with you Shelly?
What would you wanna do that for?
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Matty Hall
Member
Registered: 22nd Oct 00
Location: Burton on Trent (midlands)
User status: Offline
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LOL
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pinky ;)
Member
Registered: 28th Feb 03
Location: somewhere pink and fluffy!!!
User status: Offline
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hahahahahaha
that is sooooooo true!
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Wolfy
Member
Registered: 1st Apr 02
Location: West Midlands
User status: Offline
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"woo flippin woo!"
who'd pee in the shower.... thats rank!
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Stoneyginger
Premium Member
Registered: 25th Jan 01
Location: Stonehaven, Aberdeenshire
User status: Offline
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its amazing
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