Brett
Premium Member
Registered: 16th Dec 02
Location: Manchester
User status: Offline
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i'm off now...
CM = goat cheese
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Phil Hall
Member
Registered: 28th Sep 01
Location: Belfast
User status: Offline
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Yo mamma's so fat I had to take 2 trains and a bus to get on her good side!
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Cybermonkey
Member
Registered: 22nd Sep 02
Location: Sydney, Australia
User status: Offline
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loaf of bread, go toast yourself you buttered up crust fucker
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cdcool1
Member
Registered: 9th Jun 02
Location: Scunny
User status: Offline
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where does saddam keep his cd's?
in "a rack"
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cdcool1
Member
Registered: 9th Jun 02
Location: Scunny
User status: Offline
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i'm not racist, but this is quite funny:
US and British coallition forces attacked a housing estate in pakistan today killing 240, and injuring a further 400. A spokesman said they will attack the second house tomorrow.
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Phil Hall
Member
Registered: 28th Sep 01
Location: Belfast
User status: Offline
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The Queen and Princess Anne are out for a drive in one of the Queen's Range Rovers. Suddenly some armed robbers leap out of the bushes and stop the car. "Give us the money", they shout at the Queen. "But I'm the Queen of England, I have no need for money." "Oh, shit", says the leader of the armed band, and turns to Anne. "Give us yer jewels." "But I don't wear my jewels all the time, only on state occasions." The armed robbers look fed up, when suddenly they hear the sound of wailing sirens approaching. "Quick, out of the car! We'll have the Range Rover at least," and with that the robbers drive off.
As the Queen and Anne are waiting for the Police to get there, Anne turns to the Queen, "What did you do with all the cash you had? You're always loaded." "Ah," says the Queen, "I saw the robbers and in the few seconds before they got to the car I rolled up my notes and tucked them into that little place that only women have." Reaching under her skirt, she produces several thousand pounds in notes. "And what did you do with your jewels? You always wear lots of jewellery, my dear." The Queen says to Anne.
"Well, like you, in those few seconds before the robbers got to the car, I slipped off my rings, necklaces and tiara, and like you, slipped them into that little place that only women have." Reaching down she plucks out her jewellery. They both sit quietly for a few minutes, before the Queen turns to Anne... "You know, if Fergie had been with us, we could still have the Range Rover."
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Adam-D
Member
Registered: 11th May 02
Location: Cheshire
User status: Offline
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LoudandProud
Member
Registered: 12th Jan 01
Location: Stanway, Essex
User status: Offline
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classic!`
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Frenchieboy
Member
Registered: 17th Sep 01
Location: Sunny Scotland !!!
User status: Offline
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"The Gift"
A young man wanted to purchase a gift for his new sweetheart's
birthday, and as they had not been dating very long, after careful
consideration, he decided a pair of gloves would strike the right
note: romantic, but not too personal.
Accompanied by his sweetheart's younger sister, he went to Nordstrom
and bought a pair of white gloves. The sister purchased a pair of
panties for herself.
During the wrapping, the clerk mixed up the items and the sister got
the gloves and the sweetheart got the panties. Without checking the
contents, the young man sealed the package and sent it to his sweetheart
with the following note:
"I chose these because I noticed that you are not in the habit of
wearing any when we go out in the evening. If it had not been for
your sister, I would have chosen the long ones with the buttons,
but she wears short ones that are easier to remove.
"These are a delicate shade, but the lady I bought them from showed me
the pair she had been wearing for the past three weeks and they were
hardly soiled. I had her try yours on for me and she looked really
smart.
"I wish I was there to put them on for you the first time, as no doubt
other hands will come in contact with them before I have a chance to
see you again.
"When you take them off, remember to blow in them before putting them
away as they will naturally be a little damp from wearing.
"Just think how many times I will kiss them during the coming year.
I hope you will wear them for me on Friday night. All my love.
"P.S. The latest style is to wear them folded down with a little fur
showing."
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Frenchieboy
Member
Registered: 17th Sep 01
Location: Sunny Scotland !!!
User status: Offline
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Taliban In Britain
As we all know, the Taliban considers it a sin for a man to see a naked woman who is not his wife.
So, next Saturday at 2 0 PM all British women are asked to walk out of their house completely naked to help weed out any neighbourhood terrorists. Circling your block for one hour is recommended for this anti-terrorist effort.
All men are to position themselves in lawn chairs in front of their house to prove they are not Taliban, demonstrate that they think it's okay to see nude women other than their wife and to show support for all British women.
And since the Taliban also does not approve of alcohol, a cold six-pack at your side is further proof of your anti-Taliban sentiment.
The Tony B appreciates your efforts to root out terrorists and applauds your participation in this anti-terrorist activity.
God bless Britain!
IT IS YOUR PATRIOTIC DUTY TO PASS THIS ON!
Tony Blair
Prime Minister
[Edited on 04-04-2003 by Frenchieboy]
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kerzo
Member
Registered: 10th Nov 02
Location: Norn Iron
User status: Offline
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LATEST NEWS!!!! Police found a young black man hung in Alabama with 6 bullet wounds to the head...........local police described it as the worst case of suicide they have ever seen!!
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