Super_si
Member
Registered: 4th Mar 01
Location: lurkin' somewhere........................
User status: Offline
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INNER SKELETON
A 63 year old widow was admitted to the hospital in Recife, Brazil, suffering abdominal pains. X-rays showed that she was carrying a 20 inch long skeleton of a fetus which she conceived a decade earlier. It had become lodged outside the womb and was never expelled from her body.
FEMALE SOFA
A 500lb. woman from Illinois was examined in a hospital. During the examination, an asthma inhaler fell from under her armpit, a dime was found under one of her breasts and a remote control was found lodged between the folds of her vulva.
PRICKLY PAIR OUCH!
In Michigan, a man came into the ER with lacerations to his penis. He complained that his wife had "...a rat in her privates..." and it bit him during sex. After an examination of his wife, it was reve! aled that she had a surgical needle left inside her after a recent hysterectomy. > > >
PING PONG ANYONE?
A 20 year old man came into the ER with a stony mass in his rectum. He said that he and his boyfriend were fooling around with concrete mix, then his boyfriend had the idea of pouring the mix into his anus using a funnel. The concrete then hardened, causing constipation and pain. Under general anesthesia, a perfect concrete cast of the man's rectum was removed along with a ping pong ball. (Boy we live sheltered lives - thank goodness)
BLIND DRUNK
A drunk staggered into a Pennsylvania ER complaining
of severe pain while trying to remove his contact lenses. He said that they would come out halfway, but they always popped back in. A nurse tried to help using a suction pump, but without success. Finally, a doctor examined him and discovered the man did not have his contact lenses in at all. He had been trying to rip out the membrane of his cornea. > > >
OUCH AND DOUBLE OUCH!
A couple hobbled into a Washington State emergency covered in bloody restaurant towels. The man had his hands around his abdomen and the woman had hers around her head. They eventually explained to doctors that they had gone out that evening for a romantic dinner. Overcome with passion, the woman crept under the table to administer oral sex to the man. While in the act, she had an epileptic fit, which caused her to clamp down on the man's penis and wrench it from side to side. In agony and desperation, the man grabbed a fork and stabbed her in the head until she let go.
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Jodi_the_g
Member
Registered: 7th Aug 01
Location: Washington D.C
User status: Offline
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I told you my medical past in confiedece Si thanks for posting it
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Ojc
Member
Registered: 14th Nov 00
Location: Reading: Drives : Clio 197
User status: Offline
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I feel sick!
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Cosmo
Member
Registered: 29th Mar 01
Location: Im the real one!
User status: Offline
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Super_si
Member
Registered: 4th Mar 01
Location: lurkin' somewhere........................
User status: Offline
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Funny guy
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Jamie
Member
Registered: 1st Apr 02
Location: Aberdeen
User status: Offline
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Thats sick.
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SetH
Member
Registered: 15th Jul 01
User status: Offline
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ROFLMFAO Si you fecking nutter 
PRICKLY PAIR OUCH!
quote:
In Michigan, a man came into the ER with lacerations to his penis. He complained that his wife had "...a rat in her privates..." and it bit him during sex. After an examination of his wife, it was reve! aled that she had a surgical needle left inside her after a recent hysterectomy.
Man thats well bad, my old boy felt all funny reading that
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Sam
Moderator
Premium Member
Registered: 24th Dec 99
Location: West Midlands
User status: Offline
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LMAO!
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jm960326
Member
Registered: 24th Aug 02
Location: Rob Cheshire
User status: Offline
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Ive done the blind drunk one about contact lenses, came back so pissed cant remember anything, took contacts out, collapsed for and hour, then woke up decided go to bed and thought I had better take my contacts out. I was squeezing and pulling at my eyes trying to pull them out, but they weren't there!
Gave up in the end thinking I was just too drunk to do it and went sleep with very sore eyes. Woke up in morning to find my contacts on a table next to me all dried up and knackered!! lol:
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1.0to2.0
Member
Registered: 3rd Apr 03
Location: Liverpool
User status: Offline
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lol Si
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