Tomnova16
Premium Member
Registered: 21st Jan 06
Location: Gerrards Cross Drives: Porsche 911
User status: Offline
|
A tramp finds a five pound note in the street. He decides to go to the off-licence and buy a bottle of white wine. After duly knocking back the plonk the tramp falls into a drunken torpor and collapses in a small alleyway.
About ten minutes later a passing homosexual happens upon the sprawled body of the tramp. Not having greased the pole for a while the shirt-lifter whips down the tramps keks and gives him one up the old Gary Glitter. As the rear-gunner is just about to leave he gets a pang of conscience and tucks a five pound note into the tramp’s hand.
Upon waking up the next day the tramp discovers the fiver. Hardly believing his good fortune he rushes back to the off-licence and purchases another bottle of white wine. Yet again he downs the vino and falls into a drunken sleep in his favourite alleyway. A little later the same chutney ferret passes the alleyway and sees the tramp. Unable to contain himself, the uphill gardener divests the tramp of his jockeys and gives him another hoop stretching. Again he leaves five pounds out of guilt for his actions.
Upon waking up the tramp discovers another fiver in his hand and so hastens back to the off-licence. He grabs a bottle of red wine and hands it to the sales assistant for wrapping. The sales assistant, by now familiar with the tramp’s usual habits, asks why he is buying red wine this time to which the tramp responds, “I quite like the white wine but it doesn’t half make my ****ing arse sore.”
http://www.lemass.co.uk/ for all your automotive/bodyshop needs
Located in Chalfont st Peter
|
Cosmo
Member
Registered: 29th Mar 01
Location: Im the real one!
User status: Offline
|
Poor effort.
|
Tommy
Member
Registered: 24th Aug 00
Location: Essex, Colchester
User status: Offline
|
Right
|
Skylined
Member
Registered: 27th Sep 05
Location: Sideways, Surrey
User status: Offline
|
What's the difference between jam and marmalade?
I can't marmalade my cock in your arse
|
Aaron
Member
Registered: 9th Aug 04
Location: Cottingham, East Riding
User status: Offline
|
Ok....where is this "Joke" that you mention?
|
BarnshaW
Member
Registered: 25th Oct 06
User status: Offline
|
whats the difference between a bride and a groom?
I dont bride little boys.
|
ashleh
Member
Registered: 23rd Dec 08
Location: Nottingham
User status: Offline
|
When I was a kid my dad told me "I'm fucking sick of getting socks for my birthday!"
"You ungrateful cunt!" I replied. "It's the thought that counts!"
I could tell from the look in his eyes he'd have kicked my head in.
If he had legs.
|
gravesy
Member
Registered: 21st Apr 10
User status: Offline
|
Posts 4, 6 and 7 = jokes.
Post 1 = must try harder.
|
ed
Member
Registered: 10th Sep 03
User status: Offline
|
Made me chuckle Tom 
|
DannyB
Premium Member
Registered: 6th Feb 08
User status: Offline
|
Whats red and tastes of jessica?
Ian huntleys cock
/offensive jokes thread
|
