gravesy
Member
Registered: 21st Apr 10
User status: Offline
|
http://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/cxj5y/what_is_the_creepiestmost_perverted_thing_you/
There are some fucked up people out there.
|
Paul_J
Member
Registered: 6th Jun 02
Location: London
User status: Offline
|
Reddit is the best site on the internet right now.
It may get fucked up when it goes fully mainstream though.
|
gravesy
Member
Registered: 21st Apr 10
User status: Offline
|
Some of the request a picture threads are superb.
|
DaveyLC
Member
Registered: 8th Oct 08
Location: Berkshire
User status: Offline
|
That is fucking HILLARIOUS!
|
nathy_87
Member
Registered: 14th Aug 08
Location: West Mids. Drives: Škoda Fabia VRS 5J
User status: Offline
|
quote:
Shoved the ear-end of an older-style phone up my twat to masturbate when I was 12-13. Went in OK with lotion but I was about 5 minutes from being a hilarious ER story when I eventually got it back out again.
quote:
about 5 minutes from being a hilarious ER story
Sounds like a close call
|
Budgie
Member
Registered: 2nd Dec 09
Location: Basingstoke
User status: Offline
|
there was a bit half way down about post-ejaculation-remorse
made me
|
K2 GTi
Member
Registered: 21st Oct 04
User status: Offline
|
LMFAO
OneThenDone 114 points115 points116 points 6 hours ago* [+] (21 children)
OneThenDone 114 points115 points116 points 6 hours ago* [-]
Fuck it, I'll go all out:
-When I was 13 and frustrated, my wimpy arms could NOT get me off. So my method involved a 3ft stack of pillows and a makeshift blockade since my door wouldn't lock. I ruined a LOT of pillows.
-When I was 14 we finally got a color printer. This was before people had loads of photos on social networks. I'd talk to girls from school online and act really interested in their new hairstyle/clothes/anything to get them to want to send me pictures. And I'd print them. It was cute and innocent at first, because I'd print it so that it was only the girls face taking up the whole page. I'd hide it under my pillow and kiss it sometimes.
That turned into kissing it while getting myself off. Then it turned into outright facials, meaning they were one-use only. My dad soon noticed the color ink was always gone, so I took those clear report covers and put the pictures in there. Reusable! I used to hide them in my sock drawer and one day discovered my mom completely rearranged all the socks in there. The pictures were placed neatly in the corner and I couldn't bring myself to keep using them, knowing that she knew.
-I got a bit more technical after that. I'd save all the skanky Friendster pics of girls in my class, put them all in a folder, and then run it as a full screen slideshow. I still kind of use this method today - as in, if a girl sends me a bunch of hot photos, I run it as a slide show. Hands-free rocks.
-Pocket Pussy's were boring to me since they make you do all the work, so I bought a vibrating mouth/tongue one. You work it by pouring lube in the "mouth", the tongue moves in a circular motion and vibrates. I broke the thing. That particular device was only a few inches deep, so when I jammed my dick in there, the tongue would get stuck and you could hear the conspicuous motor struggling to work. It wasn't just bad at it's job, but it also looked like a dead fish.
-My former girlfriend would withhold sex from me very often. To get at least some action, I'd wait til she was asleep and sneak off to the bathroom. I'd usually stroke myself with her bra, which, while creepy, was actually amazing because they were soft and she had a big rack, so just one of the cups would completely cover my member. I'd wipe out the jizzum but not all of it. That way when I'd see her wearing a bra I defiled, my first thought was always "It's just like she let me cum on her chest! Our sex life rocks!"
I'm sure there are way more stories but I've given enough.
|
Jake
Member
Registered: 24th Jan 05
User status: Offline
|
quote:
I seriously believe that the most honest moment in a man's life is the few seconds after he blows his load.
quoted for the truth
[Edited on 05-08-2010 by jake]
|
Lawrah
Premium Member
Registered: 25th Dec 04
User status: Offline
|
Pretty sure there will be loads of weirdo's on here with some pretty sick stories
|
Marc
Member
Registered: 11th Aug 02
Location: York
User status: Offline
|
PMSL at the phone
|
3CorsaMeal
Member
Registered: 11th Apr 02
User status: Offline
|
pmsl at the missing spunk
when you blow your load and it misses whatever you were aiming into, then you can't find it
|
Lawrah
Premium Member
Registered: 25th Dec 04
User status: Offline
|
quote:
The creepiest I can think of is that I used to cum on this one girl I was seeing while she slept. She was a huge tease, and her problem was that getting drunk made her super horny and then suddenly tired. She would be sitting on my lap grinding on top of me and biting my neck one moment- then she would fall into the spooning position and be fast asleep. There were at least four instances where I got creepy. She was one of those girls that would wear very loose jeans, so when we'd spoon, her ass was half exposed and rubbing against my lap. At least four times I disregarded morals and would get myself off in that position. It became a kind of game to see if I could land a shot directly onto the top of her ass crack. Seconds after I would have my despicable orgasm, I'd feel sick to my stomach about what I did. But sometime later in the night after feeling her against me, I'd start back up again. So when I said at least four instances, I meant at least four instances where I had a small marathon with it.
|
Paul_J
Member
Registered: 6th Jun 02
Location: London
User status: Offline
|
There's a disturbing one on there about some guy molesting a 11 year old girl
|
leon.
Member
Registered: 24th Jun 08
User status: Offline
|
FUCKING LOL
The mysterious "flaky skin" on my back (for several years, stumping multiple dermatologists) was because I would lie down in the bath to masturbate right before I got out, and the jizz would dry on my back.
|
Lawrah
Premium Member
Registered: 25th Dec 04
User status: Offline
|
quote:
Originally posted by Paul_J
There's a disturbing one on there about some guy molesting a 11 year old girl
quote:
oh, another one... I was having a sleepover at a friend's house when I was 15 or 16. My horny virginity kept me up a lot those days. That night I was walking around his house while everyone was sleeping, and I saw his little sister's door open. She was sleeping on top of her covers in a long shirt with nothing underneath. I could see her bare ass. After a few hours of walking back and forth past the door, I finally worked up the nerve to go into her room and I lightly licked her pussy twice. Then her leg twitched and I ran back to my sleeping bag in the basement and fantastized about the taste and feel of it for days. Sometimes I still taste it in my dreams.
This one?
|
Shell
Premium Member
Registered: 14th Oct 08
User status: Offline
|
Laura, I take it that avatar is capturing that split second of utter fear/hilarity when you realise your stiletto heel has just embedded itself in the grass and you are about to go down like a sack of potatos?
|
Lawrah
Premium Member
Registered: 25th Dec 04
User status: Offline
|
haha I stamped then into the ground..then got pushed over.
|
leon.
Member
Registered: 24th Jun 08
User status: Offline
|
yes that pic makes her tits look larger
|
Twitch
Member
Registered: 3rd Nov 09
Location: Flitwick, Bedfordshire
User status: Offline
|
quote:
craigslut 193 points 8 hours ago[-]
I (female) posted some Craigslist "casual encounters" ads. I met and fucked a bunch of guys I barely knew over the course of about a year. I still get horny thinking about a few of them... the very first one, I took a cab to his house and had his cock in my mouth within moments of getting in the door. God those were fun times. I also used to masturbate in a bathroom stall at work. This was around the same period as my Craigslist encounters. Incidentally, this wasn't a fit of teenage horniness, but rather, a steadily increasing 30-something horniness.
quote:
HepatitisDispenser 210 points 7 hours ago[-]
Mom get off craigslist so help me god
quote:
pleaseforgivemesnail 173 points 7 hours ago[-] I took a snail into the shower to let it slide all over my penis, and then I came on it. It didn't poke back out for forever and I thought I killed it. 
LMFAO!!
[Edited on 05-08-2010 by Twitch]
|
