OFcorsa
Member
Registered: 6th Jan 03
Location: Cheltenham, Gloucestershire
User status: Offline
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Snappy Answer - 1
A stewardess was stationed at the departure gate to check tickets. As a
man approached, she extended her hand for the ticket, and he opened his
coat and flashed her.
Without missing a beat she said, "Sir, I need to see your ticket, not
your stub."
Snappy Answer - 2
A lady was picking through the frozen chickens at the supermarket, but
couldn't find one big enough for her family. She asked the shelf
stacker, "Do these chickens get any bigger?"
He replied, "No they're dead."
Snappy Answer - 3
The policeman got out of his car and the lad who was stopped for
speeding rolled down his window. "I've been waiting for you all day,"
the policeman said.
The lad replied, "Yeah, well I got here as fast as I could." When the
policeman finally stopped laughing, he sent the lad on his way without
a ticket.
Snappy Answer - 4
A lorry driver was driving along. A sign comes up that reads "low
bridge ahead." Before he knows it the bridge is right ahead of him and
he gets stuck under the bridge. Cars are backed up for miles. Finally,
a police car comes up. The policeman gets out of his car and walks
around to the lorry driver, puts his hands on his hips and says, "Got
stuck?"
The lorry driver says, "No mate, I was delivering this bridge and ran
out of petrol."
And finally... - 5, THE TEACHER Snappy Answer OF THE YEAR
A university lecturer reminds her students of tomorrow's final exam.
"Now, I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being here tomorrow. I
might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury or illness,
or a death in your immediate family but that's it, no other excuses
whatsoever!"
A smart-arse bloke in the back of the room raised his hand and asks,
"What would you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering from complete and
utter sexual exhaustion?" The entire class does its best to stifle their
laughter.
When silence is restored, the lecturer smiles sympathetically at the
student, shakes her head, and sweetly says, "Well, I suppose you'd have
to write the exam with your other hand."
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kerzo
Member
Registered: 10th Nov 02
Location: Norn Iron
User status: Offline
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I was actually with this guy when he used snappy answer 3 and he got off with it too!!!
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Dav
Member
Registered: 23rd Jul 02
Location: Falkirk, Scotland
User status: Offline
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quote:
Snappy Answer - 2
A lady was picking through the frozen chickens at the supermarket, but
couldn't find one big enough for her family. She asked the shelf stacker, "Do these chickens get any bigger?"
He replied, "No, they're dead."
I've used that one at work a few times 
 @ 3 and 5 too
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wacko corsaboy
Member
Registered: 29th Aug 02
Location: York, uk
User status: Offline
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4 makes me laugh
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