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Originally posted by Eck
oRbbo, there are many, many things I'd rather do than read that again. Included, but not limited to:
Joining Steve for a pint

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Originally posted by JonnyJ
You spitting feathers at the utter OUTRAGE of having to walk to work, or god forbid get a bus was funnier tbh m8.

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Originally posted by Robbo
In other news, Arseblog pondered a late Kallstrom winner at the weekend...:

"We may have Kim Kallstrom available. What a story it would be for him to score the winner at White Hart Lane with a free kick late in the game which causes Tim Sherwood to run onto the pitch and start beating Emmanuel Adebayor about the head with the leg of Steffan Freund before a distraught Daniel Levy runs onto the pitch and puts the part-time manager out of his misery with a single shot from a cattle gun.

“It’s for the best,” he cries on the pitch as Geoff Shreeves seeks to exploit his heartbreak in front of the live TV audience by also revealing, with his trademark sensitivity, that his children have been eaten by a bear.

“How do you feel about the fact your kids have been devoured?”, asks the Shreeves, before showing him video footage of the incident in which the crunching of bone and terrified screams create a soundtrack that nobody will ever forget.

“Back to you in the studio,” he LOLs as Levy weeps and Jamie Redknapp criticises the children for the way they were eaten.

“You wanna see kids get eaten more betterer than that,” he says. “I was literally consumed by an ogre when I was a youth team player at Liverpool,” expect he pronounces ogre as ‘Oggar’ and loads of people on Twitter laugh at him for his poor English."

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