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Author Read these and laugh your smelly socks off!
Tiger
Member

Registered: 12th Jun 01
Location: Leicestershire Drives:Astra VXR
User status: Offline
5th Aug 03 at 16:39   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote


How do you know which armrest is yours at the cinema?

If you say something is indescribable, isn't that describing it?

Why is it called butterfingers when there is no butter or fingers in it?

If you shine a light into a mirror, do you get twice as much light?

If a Truck is loaded with Helium, would it weigh less than when it was empty? Wouldn't it get better fuel mileage?

Why is it when we talk to God we are praying, but when God talks to us we are put into the loony bin?

How come toy hippos are always blue, or purple, when real hippos are brown?

Why is Joey short for Joe, when Joey has more letters?

Can someone have their head in the clouds and be down-to-earth at the same time?

If a person suffered from amnesia and then was cured would they remember that they forgot?

Why do mattresses have designs on them when they're always covered with sheets?

Do cows have calf muscles?

Do babies produce more spit than adults?

Why do they say "an alarm going off," if it is really going on?

Why do you go back and forth to town if you really must go forth before you go back?

Why can't you get a tan on your palms?

Why do dogs sniff other dogs bottoms to say hello, why dont they just bark in their face or something?

Why do companies offer you "free gifts?" Since when has a gift NOT been
free?

If something "goes without saying," why do people still say it?

You know the expression, "Don't quit your day job?" Well what do you say to people that work nights?

Why do you get in trouble for blocking an exit when you're standing in the doorway? In case of an emergency, wouldn't you run out, too, therefore NOT blocking the exit?

Why is it when some products you have to turn it upside down to read the directions, and the directions say do not turn upside down?

Why is a square meal served on round plates?

Which way does a compass point in space?

Why are people allowed to put naked statues outside but why can't we run outside naked?

Why do all superheroes wear spandex?

If mars had earthquakes would they be called marsquakes?

Why did Mary own a little lamb?

If a missing person sees their picture on a milk carton that offers a reward, would they get the money?

Why cant a baby cry while its inside its mother?

If the president were gay, would his husband be the first man?

If you were a genie and a person asked you this wish, "I wish you would not grant me this wish" what would you do?

What happens if your snot freezes in your nose?

Why aren't safety pins as safe as they say they are?

Why do people say, "You can't have your cake and eat it too"? Why would someone get cake if they can't eat it?

Can bald men get lice??

Did Noah have woodpeckers on the ark? If he did, where did he keep them?

Why is snow white and ice clear? Aren't they just different forms of water?

If I had my legs amputated, would I have to change my height and weight on my driver's license?

Since bread is square, then why is sandwich meat round?

When something's funny why is it called a "knee-slapper" when you actually slap your thigh?

Is sign language the same in languages other than English?

Why is "number" abbreviated as "no"? When there is no "o" in number?

Who gets to keep the pennies in a wishing well?

If you went back in time and killed your mother would you disappear the moment you killed her?

Why is Donkey Kong called "DONKEY" Kong if he's a monkey?

If a bunch of cats jump on top of each other, is it still called a dog pile?

Do the air bubbles that are created when you fart in water, smell when they pop?

Just what was the "Baby On Board" sign for? Did it help us decide which car not to hit in case of an accident?

Can you cry under water?

If all of the Acme stuff doesn't work, why does Wile Coyote keep buying their products?

364 days of the year, parents tell their kids not to take sweets from strangers, yet on Halloween, its encouraged! Why is that ?

Why is it when we laugh in school the teachers say do you find something funny? When obviously we do?

Why do you DELETE something on the computer, but ERASE something on paper?

Since there is a rule that states "i" before "e" except after "c", wouldn't "science" be spelled wrong?

If the handicapped bathrooms are for people who cant walk why do they put them at the end of the bathrooms ?

Why is it that on the back of a medicine bottle it says "adult" is 12 and above, but the adult age in reality is 18?

Why do most people put more effort into their wedding than their actual marriage?

Why do dogs walk around in circles before lying down?

Can a metal plate in your head get rusted?

Do stuttering people stutter when they're thinking to themselves?

If the day before a holiday is called Christmas Eve, is the day after Christmas Adam?

Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity?

How come you can kill a deer and put it on your wall but it's illegal to keep them as a pet?

Can someone give up lent for lent?

Why does a round pizza come in a square box?
Pablo
Member

Registered: 3rd Feb 03
Location: Milton Keynes
User status: Offline
5th Aug 03 at 16:49   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote

I must b bored I jus read all of them!
Wolfy
Member

Registered: 1st Apr 02
Location: West Midlands
User status: Offline
5th Aug 03 at 16:51   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote

same here
Pablo
Member

Registered: 3rd Feb 03
Location: Milton Keynes
User status: Offline
5th Aug 03 at 16:52   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote

My eyes hurt now
Tiger
Member

Registered: 12th Jun 01
Location: Leicestershire Drives:Astra VXR
User status: Offline
5th Aug 03 at 16:58   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote

Some of them are very true though = i particularly liked "Do stuttering people stutter when they're thinking to themselves? "
Hillzlo
Member

Registered: 9th Nov 02
Location: Noitacol
User status: Offline
5th Aug 03 at 17:41   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote

If you went back in time and killed your mother would you disappear the moment you killed her?

Hmmm... this is an inpossability. If you went back and killed her you wouldn't exist to go back and kill her.


 
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