DAYZEE
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Registered: 13th Nov 00
Location: Stevenage, MR2 Turbo, 328i Coupe, CBR600F
User status: Offline
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TOSSERS TAKE TYPE-R TOP TEN
There was good news for Honda this week with the release of the Motor Industry National Guild of Expert's latest figures for new car sales to wankers. The British-built hot hatch has secured a remarkable lead over its nearest rivals by entering the complete bell-end sales top ten for the first time, straight in at number two. 'The Civic Type-R has been selling well for a while now,' noted one industry observer. 'But this new chart position is something much more significant. It means the Honda has really become a complete nobber's favourite and that if you encounter a Type-R on the road you will probably notice that the driver is a total penis. Of course, driving like a cock isn't enough. This new ranking has been bolstered by other activities, in particular the hyper aggressive defence of the car on one-make internet discussion boards and a refusal to acknowledge that it isn't necessarily the best hot hatch in the entire world. Honda must be delighted. That really is the kind of utterly twatty behaviour you just can't buy.'
Elsewhere in the wanker top ten the loyal devotion of lame wannabes kept the BMW 318i at number one, a slot it has occupied for as long as anyone can remember. BMW's popularity amongst total ringpieces also kept the M3 and X5 in fourth and eight places respectively. With the Civic Type-R in at two, the Porsche Boxster slipped to third, and there was good news for Mitsubishi whose Evo VIII moved ahead of the Subaru Impreza WRX, helped by the anonymous internet poster who last month doctored Sniff Petrol's own spoof Evo advert so that it read 'Always one step ahead', something that effortlessly exposed the high wanker contingent now amongst the Evo driving community, whilst also making no fucking sense whatsoever. The Audi TT remains a top ten fixture and it was good to see a concerted programme of motorway tailgating and inappropriate sunglasses wearing has paid dividends for the now very wankery A4. Finally, good news for Citroen as the Saxo fills in the tenth place once again. That's got to be something worth celebrating, perhaps by using your front fogs when the visibility is perfect and then driving at 52mph in a 30 zone.
http://www.sniffpetrol.com/
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Tom
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Registered: 3rd Apr 02
Location: Wirral, Merseyside
User status: Offline
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Qulaity, and no sign of the corsa 
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vibrio
Banned
Registered: 28th Feb 01
Location: POAH
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oh how true
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Jason Iles
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Registered: 19th Jun 01
Location: Bristol
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spot on i'd say
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Wolfy
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Registered: 1st Apr 02
Location: West Midlands
User status: Offline
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Jason Iles
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Registered: 19th Jun 01
Location: Bristol
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Andy
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Registered: 28th Dec 99
Location: Cumbria, UK
User status: Offline
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quote:
Originally posted by Tom D
Qulaity, and no sign of the corsa
Take a look at issue 33:
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Ojc
Member
Registered: 14th Nov 00
Location: Reading: Drives : Clio 197
User status: Online
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Yes, I THANKYOU.
Its not just me that has noticed only fcuking pricks drive Type-R's, I fcuking hate them.
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vibrio
Banned
Registered: 28th Feb 01
Location: POAH
User status: Offline
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quote:
Originally posted by Calibra2zero
class advert however I would like to point out I drive a mk1 punto not a facelifted mk2
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