carnoisseurcraig
Member
Registered: 4th Jun 03
Location: Inverness
User status: Offline
|
Ok. ideas for the script of the UK version of the Fast & the furious.
You meet our hero Gaz, he works in Halfords and drives a Saxo VTsomething or other with a huge zorst and rear spoiler to suit.
Sharon, the love interest, spots our Gaz in Halfords one morning as she called in to buy some red caliper paint for her XR2i.
Lovely looking motor but unfortunately rusting around the rear arches and filler cap.
Sharons brother, John, the local hard nut drives an Escort Cossy and any mention of it not being a genuine cossy gets treated with a but end of a snooker cue he keeps next to the drivers seat.
John has always been troubled since his dad died, a street race between his Dads Escort Mexico and this new Capri. both cars were racing down this country lane when the Capri driver saw they were approaching a sharp bend, well you can imagine the rest.
Just does not work does it???
Please feel free to carry on the script.
Just a bit of a laugh
|
PaulW
Member
Registered: 26th Jan 03
Location: Atherton, Greater Manchester
User status: Offline
|
instead of driving black civics & stealing hi-fi's n dvd players and such, they drive banged-up nova's with alloy spoilers & silly graphics all over them, and also keep stealing max power stickers & fast car stickers because of the boyracer 'claimed' 100bhp increase per sticker
|
carnoisseurcraig
Member
Registered: 4th Jun 03
Location: Inverness
User status: Offline
|
Dave, is an undercover officer sent in to investigate Gaz and co. Its suspected they are involved in stealing car stereos to fund their love of harness pads and neon washers.
Dave, turns up at a cruise in a G reg Orion Ghia, with all the best mods - TSW Venoms, stick on aero filler cap, Peco BB4, "Motorsport" sticker across windscreen. All funded by the Met. Dave approaches Gaz and offers to race him - the winner gets to keep the others car.
|
Dan B
Member
Registered: 25th Feb 01
User status: Offline
|
Right at the end of the film, where Dave and Gaz are street-racing, and jump over a rail-track, there is no excitement because the Virgin train broke down 5 miles up the track...
|
A_Venables
Member
Registered: 6th Jan 04
Location: Coventry
User status: Offline
|
pmsl
|
mentalcorsa
Member
Registered: 19th Dec 02
User status: Offline
|
quote:
Originally posted by Dan B
Right at the end of the film, where Dave and Gaz are street-racing, and jump over a rail-track, there is no excitement because the Virgin train broke down 5 miles up the track...
 quality sounds bout right m8
|
Marc
Member
Registered: 11th Aug 02
Location: York
User status: Offline
|
Dan B
|
GT4Brody
Member
Registered: 26th Sep 01
Location: south
User status: Offline
|
quote:
Originally posted by carnoisseurcraig
Dave, is an undercover officer sent in to investigate Gaz and co. Its suspected they are involved in stealing car stereos to fund their love of harness pads and neon washers.
Dave, turns up at a cruise in a G reg Orion Ghia, with all the best mods - TSW Venoms, stick on aero filler cap, Peco BB4, "Motorsport" sticker across windscreen. All funded by the Met. Dave approaches Gaz and offers to race him - the winner gets to keep the others car.
I dont think u could give a g reg orion away let alone race someone for it
Funny thread buy the way
|
ed
Member
Registered: 10th Sep 03
User status: Offline
|
|
carnoisseurcraig
Member
Registered: 4th Jun 03
Location: Inverness
User status: Offline
|
ah, i thought you guys would carry it on.
ok, il try
Next day they all agree to meet at Halfords at 2pm to drool over the red ally sun glasses holder and matching accesories.
Gaz is outside painting the letters on his Firestone tyres with white paint, they join him after purchasing wiper boots and a fake bee sting ariel.
A rather large rumble attracts the attention of the group, except for John who still has this ringing in his ears from the sound off.
The rumble is getting louder and louder.
Then out of the blue they see over the road a SKYLINE wizz by followed by another and another. Then 5, maybe 6 more go by. Each and every driver wearing a stupid grin.
The group try to ignore this convoy of power.
John breaks the ice, I hear they are all going to a place called crail
Jacob replies, Yes, crail I have heard of this magical place, full of quality motors.
The realisation hits home, This Citreon or nova that they so desperatly want to look like a F&F contender, never will.
John speaks again, One day I will have a car that will be the pride of crail
We all should have our dreams.
|
mr c
Member
Registered: 31st Jul 01
Location: Northwest
User status: Offline
|
|
Dan B
Member
Registered: 25th Feb 01
User status: Offline
|
quote:
Originally posted by carnoisseurcraig
ah, i thought you guys would carry it on.
ok, il try
Next day they all agree to meet at Halfords at 2pm to drool over the red ally sun glasses holder and matching accesories.
Gaz is outside painting the letters on his Firestone tyres with white paint, they join him after purchasing wiper boots and a fake bee sting ariel.
A rather large rumble attracts the attention of the group, except for John who still has this ringing in his ears from the sound off.
The rumble is getting louder and louder.
Then out of the blue they see over the road a SKYLINE wizz by followed by another and another. Then 5, maybe 6 more go by. Each and every driver wearing a stupid grin.
The group try to ignore this convoy of power.
John breaks the ice, I hear they are all going to a place called crail
Jacob replies, Yes, crail I have heard of this magical place, full of quality motors.
The realisation hits home, This Citreon or nova that they so desperatly want to look like a F&F contender, never will.
John speaks again, One day I will have a car that will be the pride of crail
We all should have our dreams.
Don't tell me, the sequel will be called:
2 Fast 2 Furious UK: The Search for the Holy Crail? 
|
BabyBlade
Member
Registered: 5th Feb 03
Location: Hereford Rides: Ninja 600
User status: Offline
|
keep up the good work boys :thumbs
|
carnoisseurcraig
Member
Registered: 4th Jun 03
Location: Inverness
User status: Offline
|
quote:
Originally posted by Dan B
Don't tell me, the sequel will be called:
2 Fast 2 Furious UK: The Search for the Holy Crail?
i like that idea.
The boys decide that Crail should be the ultimate place to go and whup Jap Car ass, but first they need to hone their skills……
They disembark to the local car park outside their bitches school where they sit during the day thinking their hard as nails in there souped up wagons.
Then, in pairs, they take turns to perfect those oh so important ‘raggin it’ driving attributes.
First: The cripple hook – the impossible art of driving with your right hand on the top of the wheel, and your elbow bent upwards at ninety degrees.
Then: The hard-as-nails slump, sit so low, and at such a daft angle relative to the dash so as to see out from under that Motorsport sticker. When combined with Cripple Hook improves hazard avoidance reaction time to mere minutes.
The Musical Toot - To wire up the most stpid of air horns to the car and sound just like a fairground ride.
Airplane Hazard Cap Peek - To have your cap and and angle that almost defeats garvity. Have it at 90 degrees to stay in with the crowd.
Don’t forget: The stare – glare at anything with an even remotely powerful engine, anything driven by a male under 50 years old, or absolutely anything driven by a member of the opposite sex.
With these skills tuned to perfection, the young road warriors are nearly ready for the showdown.
All they need to do now is tune the ‘Chariots’…..
[Edited on 25-01-2004 by carnoisseurcraig]
|
carnoisseurcraig
Member
Registered: 4th Jun 03
Location: Inverness
User status: Offline
|
The are all parked up in HALFORDS car park, deciding on how to TUNE their engine, and to be honest, what the fuck does it mean.
But Hark!! one of them yells. They all look into the distance, where a tinny, rattly rumble can be heard.
[ cue new character winston in his nova SR with fading, flaking body kit, and chrome hubcaps]
He wheelspins in to the halfords car park, but stalls it cos his foot slips off the clutch.
Everyone gathers around his beast of a motor.
Winston lifts up the bonnet.
[revered silence, followed by a gasp]
" ok, check it out, ive got a vauxhall tuned 1300cc block, um, standard head, um, urr, coloured leads??, de- air filtered, ive mounted my mums hair dryer on the single choke carb, just as good as a turbo, and genuine heinz [ not tescos cheaper alternative ] baked bean can zorst.
Its pulling nearly 5hp over standard!! he exclaims.
With the crowd clearly impressed with his engine tuning skills, they all clamber into his nova [ yes all of them ] and race after a metro thats just crawled by.....
|
carnoisseurcraig
Member
Registered: 4th Jun 03
Location: Inverness
User status: Offline
|
LLOOSSERRRSS
has noone got an imagination.
|
Predator Corsa
Member
Registered: 29th Sep 03
Location: Kent
User status: Offline
|
Quailty
|
Predator Corsa
Member
Registered: 29th Sep 03
Location: Kent
User status: Offline
|
Quailty
|
Alex
Member
Registered: 9th Feb 03
Location: Nottingham
User status: Offline
|
I recon that could be a box office hit!
*finds video camera*....
|
Kerry
Member
Registered: 5th Oct 01
Location: Norwich
User status: Offline
|
|
carnoisseurcraig
Member
Registered: 4th Jun 03
Location: Inverness
User status: Offline
|
looks like il have to think up the next chapter.
can ya tell i was bored yesterday at work. the snow has kept everyone inside
|
Alex
Member
Registered: 9th Feb 03
Location: Nottingham
User status: Offline
|
oooh oooh can the nova have previously lost all wheel trims and then had the wheels sprayed silver instead? to add a touch of class
|
carnoisseurcraig
Member
Registered: 4th Jun 03
Location: Inverness
User status: Offline
|
They chase after the meto but it was too fast, that 1.1 city MUST have been tuned to the highest hilt says gaz. Winston pipes up, nah man, it has been stripped out, those beige checked seats are light as fuck man. ive also heard that furry steering wheel covers and beaded seat covers give ya an extra 10 bhp over standard covers...... they are all amazed at winstons knowlege... the mad scientist really knows his stuff.
after chasing the metro, they park up in a car park, not knwing where they are. they hear the sound of PECO in the air.
It's the "West side posse" in their fleet of R5 turbos having been out nicking stereos from cars in the local bingo hall car park. Colin, the leader of the posse in one of the meanest muthas in town and is ably supported by his henchmen Gerald and Adrian. They all drive identically modded black R5 turbos that are so low the arches come half way down the wheels. They are all reputed to be running 50psi on stock internals and put out 125hp(for 2 seconds before they have to turn down the boost) They cruise past giving gaz and crew the evil eye coz he called Colin's little sister Kylie a slapper at the school disco in the 3rd year and he bears a grudge. They all boot it in second and activate their dump valves in unison to show their displeasure at gaz being on their manor!
What the Posse don't realise is the Gaz, in an attampt to win favour with Sharon's brother John had gone round Colin's garage and broken in. It has been rumoured that they have some new engines that they are getting ready for the Cruise at Halfords next week and Gaz wants the inside knowledge as he also thinks that's where Colin keeps the nicked stereos and probably his porno stash so his Mum won't find it!!! Gaz has managed to break in unheard because Colin's mum and Dad are engrossed in Eastenders. He climbs in through the window but as he does so hears the unmistakable sound of a Peco exhaust followed by a dump valve!!! Oh no the posse are on their way back and Gaz is gonna get caught in Colin's garage so he hides behind Colin's Dad's Flymo just in time as the garage door opens and in walk the West side posse!!...............................
|
Alex
Member
Registered: 9th Feb 03
Location: Nottingham
User status: Offline
|
No1 else can carry the story on! you're doing much too good a job!
|
Tom
Member
Registered: 3rd Apr 02
Location: Wirral, Merseyside
User status: Offline
|
cracking, next scene pls
|
