M2RTY
Member
Registered: 25th May 01
User status: Offline
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"Doctor, doctor I'm having trouble with my hearing".
"What exactly are the symptoms?"
"Erm...a yellow cartoon family on telly."
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Jason Iles
Member
Registered: 19th Jun 01
Location: Bristol
User status: Offline
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Lets not have another of your jokes for a while 
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M2RTY
Member
Registered: 25th May 01
User status: Offline
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Man takes his dog to the vets and says "doctor my dog is cross eyed"
The Vet picked the dog up and looked in his eyes, ears and down his thraot, he turned to the man and said "I'm afriad I'll have to put your dog down"
"Why said the man, Because he's crosseyed???"
"No" Said the Vet "coz he weighs a fucking ton"
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Mad Moe
Member
Registered: 14th Jun 01
Location: Northumberland
User status: Offline
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Heard it before mate!
Got this one off a mate this morning:
Keith Gillespie meet a German bird in the hotel bar and after a few drinks asks her for Sex to which she replies 'nien'.
Gillisepie says 'great wait here I'll get 8 of my mates'
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littlemisscorsa!
Member
Registered: 16th Feb 04
Location: London, Surrey
User status: Offline
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M2RTY
Member
Registered: 25th May 01
User status: Offline
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Two sandwiches walk in to a bar - barman said 'sorry we don't serve food in here'
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neiliosxi
Member
Registered: 17th Dec 02
Location: Teesside (NE)Drives: Megane R26
User status: Offline
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Mad Moe
Member
Registered: 14th Jun 01
Location: Northumberland
User status: Offline
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A man goes to the doctors to pick up his wifes results. The receptionist say sorry Mr. Smith but there's been a problem. We've two set of results but we don't know which is which. I'm afraid iteither bad news or terrible news. One test shows Alzheimers, the other Aids. 'thats terrible' the man replies, 'What should I do.' ' Oh thats easy,' replies the receptionist. 'Just take her in to the middle of town and if she finds her way home dont fuck her.'
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M2RTY
Member
Registered: 25th May 01
User status: Offline
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there was an english man a scotish man and an irish man driving through the desert when the car broke down. they all decided they were goin 2 walk the rest of the way and leave their car but they could take 1 item from the car with them, the english man sensibly took water so he could drink it when he became thirsty, the scottish man decided to take some food so he could eat it when he became hungry and the irish man decided to take the car door so that he could wind the window down when he got hot!
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Mad Moe
Member
Registered: 14th Jun 01
Location: Northumberland
User status: Offline
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Noonster
Member
Registered: 20th Jul 03
Location: East Yorkshire
User status: Offline
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leeshez
Member
Registered: 3rd May 01
Location: Great Harwood, Lancashire
User status: Offline
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Don,t give up your day job 
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cdcool1
Member
Registered: 9th Jun 02
Location: Scunny
User status: Offline
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knock, knock
who's there?
bigish
bigish who?
not today thanks!
knock knock
whos there??
i thought you were homeless!!!!
courtesy of mr kay
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