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Author The.Case.Of.Management.Vs.Mr.Penis
drunkenfool
Member
Registered: 7th Feb 03
Location: Hereford Drives: Audi R8 V8
User status: Offline
15th Mar 04 at 16:19   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote
Dear Management,

I, The Penis, hereby request a raise in salary for the following reasons:

a.. I do physical labour.
b.. I work at great depths.
c.. I plunge head-first into everything I do.
d.. I do not get weekends off or public holidays.
e.. I work in a damp environment and don't get paid overtime
f.. I work in a dark place that has poor ventilation
g.. I work in high temperatures
h.. My work exposes me to contagious diseases.

Please review my request, Yours sincerely,
Mr Penis --------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Dear Penis,

After assessing your request, and considering the arguments you have raised, the administration rejects your request for the following reasons:

a.. You do not work eight hours straight
b.. You fall asleep on the job after brief work periods
c.. You do not always follow the orders of the management team
d.. You do not stay in your allocated position, and often visit other areas
e.. You do not take the initiative - you need to be pressured and stimulated in order to start working
f.. You leave the workplace rather messy at the end of your shift
g.. You don't always observe necessary safety regulations, such as wearing the correct protective clothing
h.. You'll retire well before reaching 65
i.. You are unable to work double shifts
j.. You sometimes leave your allocated position before you have completed the day's work
k.. And finally, you have been seen constantly entering and leaving the workplace carrying two suspicious-looking bags.

Sincerely,

The Management

CorsaLad16v
Member
Registered: 5th Mar 03
Location: Sheffield UK Drives: VW Golf
User status: Offline
15th Mar 04 at 16:21   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote
lovin it
Davey_boy
Member
Registered: 28th Apr 03
Location: Kingswinford, West Midlands
User status: Offline
15th Mar 04 at 16:22   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote
Tom
Member
Registered: 3rd Apr 02
Location: Wirral, Merseyside
User status: Offline
15th Mar 04 at 16:26   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote
quality
Natalie
Member
Registered: 5th Nov 03
Location: Oxfordshire Drives: Vauxhall Tigra 1.8
User status: Offline
15th Mar 04 at 16:26   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote
Jason Iles
Member
Registered: 19th Jun 01
Location: Bristol
User status: Offline
15th Mar 04 at 16:48   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote
shmazin
leeshez
Member
Registered: 3rd May 01
Location: Great Harwood, Lancashire
User status: Offline
15th Mar 04 at 20:11   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote
Mazin
Gavin
Premium Member

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Registered: 3rd Apr 02
Location: West Midlands
User status: Offline
15th Mar 04 at 20:12   View Garage View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote


pew pew pew pewwwww
Ben
Banned
Registered: 12th Jan 03
Location: West Yorkshire
User status: Offline
15th Mar 04 at 20:28   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote

 
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