drunkenfool
Member
Registered: 7th Feb 03
Location: Hereford Drives: Audi R8 V8
User status: Offline
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Dear Management,
I, The Penis, hereby request a raise in salary for the following reasons:
a.. I do physical labour.
b.. I work at great depths.
c.. I plunge head-first into everything I do.
d.. I do not get weekends off or public holidays.
e.. I work in a damp environment and don't get paid overtime
f.. I work in a dark place that has poor ventilation
g.. I work in high temperatures
h.. My work exposes me to contagious diseases.
Please review my request, Yours sincerely,
Mr Penis --------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Dear Penis,
After assessing your request, and considering the arguments you have raised, the administration rejects your request for the following reasons:
a.. You do not work eight hours straight
b.. You fall asleep on the job after brief work periods
c.. You do not always follow the orders of the management team
d.. You do not stay in your allocated position, and often visit other areas
e.. You do not take the initiative - you need to be pressured and stimulated in order to start working
f.. You leave the workplace rather messy at the end of your shift
g.. You don't always observe necessary safety regulations, such as wearing the correct protective clothing
h.. You'll retire well before reaching 65
i.. You are unable to work double shifts
j.. You sometimes leave your allocated position before you have completed the day's work
k.. And finally, you have been seen constantly entering and leaving the workplace carrying two suspicious-looking bags.
Sincerely,
The Management
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Location: Sheffield UK Drives: VW Golf
User status: Offline
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