Wolfy
Member
Registered: 1st Apr 02
Location: West Midlands
User status: Offline
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right, not normal for me to tell the world about my life, it sucks mostly but here goes.
ive been with this lady for almost 6 years now and STILL she keep going through my e-mails, texts, chat logs, pictures of people on the pc (mates n stuff) ive told her that i find it rather annoying as its like invation of privacy and shows total distrust of myself. last night i told her enough was enough after she sneaked out of the room to "check the time" and went through the texts on my mobile now i dont mind cheaking the time but theres 4 clocks in the room she was in to start with.
its got to a point were i dont want to be near her because all the time im thinking she doesnt trust me. everytime i talk to her about it she turn on that female charm and start crying her eyes out and sobbing. she says she trusts me but shes said that so many times before when i found her snooping. and before you may ask, no i have nothing to hide. i cant hide anything, she finds it all.
6 years is a long time to just throw away, but a relationship is built on trust. whats love without trust? worthless.
Help me, its dragging me down! 
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Russ
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Registered: 14th Mar 04
Location: Armchair
User status: Offline
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take her away for the weekend, leave ur mobile at home, and explain to her how it makes you feel. if u have nothing to hide then it should be easy.
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LukeGSi
Member
Registered: 9th Dec 03
User status: Offline
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Have you ever given her reason not to trust you 
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Adam-D
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Registered: 11th May 02
Location: Cheshire
User status: Offline
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if shes done this for 6 years and found nothing
ask her why's she still doing it? shurly 6 years she would of found sommit if there was anything to find
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Colin
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Registered: 4th Apr 02
User status: Offline
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Aye that pisses me off aswell goin thru ma phone
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barry_kellett99
Member
Registered: 19th May 03
User status: Offline
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I would change the password on my PC, I would turn my phone off with a PIN on it when its not in your pocket. I would just stop her snooping and see how she reacts, maybe then if she is feeling accusing she will accuse rather than snoop
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Holly C
Member
Registered: 27th Apr 04
Location: Gosport, Hampshire
User status: Offline
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Before you got with her, did her previous partner cheat on her? If he did then she will find it hard to trust a guy. Your right 6 years is long, so talk to her, and I mean when she crys dont shout and get stressed like you guys tend to do you need to comfort her as I bet she hates feeling this way 
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Kerry
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Registered: 5th Oct 01
Location: Norwich
User status: Offline
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Trust. (or rather lack of) ruins lives
the problem is there is that much going on around us all the time i.e u see ure mates do it or have it done to them ect that it makes it harder for people to find trust in themselves and the people they love
speaking from experience there really isnt much u can do its all down to her i just hope u dont ruin wot u have between u in the mean time
good luck
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Wolfy
Member
Registered: 1st Apr 02
Location: West Midlands
User status: Offline
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russ. already did that before.
upside out. not me, but her dad isnt exactly mr 1 woman if you get what i mean.
adam. had a long talk last night about that, she says she cant help it.
barry i changed the password to my pc once and she got all moody about it saying i had stuff to hide.
holly, im her only b/f well, real b/f unless you count a 1 day teenage thing way back.
kerry... its all to true, but i find it almost insulting and it hurts to know that i spent the best 6 years of my life with someone who still after this time doesnt trust me, oh she says she does trust me, but her eyes lie. but why i dont understand, is it because her dad ran off with another woman i dont know but its frustrating.
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bree
Member
Registered: 16th Jan 04
User status: Offline
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I'm sad 2 say that I totally understand why she is bein that way cos she sounds just like me
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LukeGSi
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Registered: 9th Dec 03
User status: Offline
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bree
Member
Registered: 16th Jan 04
User status: Offline
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CorsAsh
Member
Registered: 19th Apr 02
Location: Munich
User status: Offline
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How about the next time we (the West Mids people + Trotty no doubt  ) get together, bring her along? If she meets some more of your mates, could make her feel more involved, and less suspicious of what you're upto when she's not there
Would also give us a chance to meet her and see if she's worth it, but I imagine you wouldnt have lasted so long with her if this wasnt the case....
Hope you get it sorted mate 
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Wolfy
Member
Registered: 1st Apr 02
Location: West Midlands
User status: Offline
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she isnt into cars n stuff like that, damn its taken 3 years to get her to buy some good speakers for her car. so her headunits got something other the oe tat to play with.
anyhow, i think i know what to do. but i dont want to do it. we shall see.
edit (hit the post button by mistake) - i think some time apart may do us good, seeing as i have pritty much seen her every day a little space would help free the tention. or it could back fire, she thinks im gonna go shag someone else and were back to square one.
its either that or bye bye laura.
[Edited on 24-05-2004 by Calibra2zero]
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bree
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Registered: 16th Jan 04
User status: Offline
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dont do that its obvious that she really loves u and it can all work out but maybe u could get her to go to 1 of the meets and she may even like it
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Adam-D
Member
Registered: 11th May 02
Location: Cheshire
User status: Offline
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take a lil holiday
if shes not into cars etc then try and do somthing she likes
6 years is a lot to stuff it up
dont do the we need space thing its shit and it makes it worse.
also this is a little twisted but when you read your e-mails have her there so say she's at yours open your e-mails n stuff infront of her so she can see openly what your doing.
same with txting etc then she doesnt have to snoop and it may fizzle out
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T1NK
Member
Registered: 7th Apr 03
Location: down south
User status: Offline
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i had the same problem a while back, my ex fella used to follow me if i went out, go thru my things, check my phone and even threatend some of my mates to tell him if i was doing anything behind his back, i wasnt, never had and never would have but him not trusting me got to us so much it wrecked our relationship and left my baby with out a dad, (who at first he thought was someone elses). I only found out a week ago that an old girlfriend of his that he was gonna marry cheated on him with his brother and so i guess thats why he thinks that everyone is gonna cheat on him
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Ian
Site Administrator
Registered: 28th Aug 99
Location: Liverpool
User status: Online
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quote:
Originally posted by Calibra2zero
she isnt into cars n stuff like that
She needs to make the effort or keep wondering what you're doing when you're not there...
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Marc
Member
Registered: 11th Aug 02
Location: York
User status: Offline
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quote:
Originally posted by Colin J
Aye that pisses me off aswell goin thru ma phone
Tell Drewston to stop then.
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Drew
Banned
Registered: 24th Nov 01
Location: County Durham
User status: Offline
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quote:
Originally posted by Marc
quote:
Originally posted by Colin J
Aye that pisses me off aswell goin thru ma phone
Tell Drewston to stop then.
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Marc
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Registered: 11th Aug 02
Location: York
User status: Offline
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Ben
Banned
Registered: 12th Jan 03
Location: West Yorkshire
User status: Offline
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aint read all that above but just tell her straight ffs .lifes too short for pussy footing around.
tell her if u dont drust me we might as well end it now , i aint never cheated and never will , i have never give u a reason to not trust me ,blah blah blah.
hate it when people start acusing people for doing fuck all wrong.
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Wolfy
Member
Registered: 1st Apr 02
Location: West Midlands
User status: Offline
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okay, ive spoken to a her a bit, but told her not to see me today as im still thinking things through.
oh and i havnt slept since this topic was created. gah dam i hate women right now.
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