Shelly
Premium Member
Registered: 15th Nov 00
Location: Lancashire Drives: Astra H VXR
User status: Offline
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> Dear Son,
> Just a few lines to let you know I'm still alive. I'm writing this letter
slowly because I know you can't read fast.
> We are all doing very well. You won't recognise the house when you get
home - we have moved. Your dad read in the newspaper that most accidents happen within 20 miles from your home, so we moved. I won't be able to send you the address because the last Scouse family that lived here took the house numbers when they moved so that they wouldn't have to change their address.
>
> This place is really nice. It even has a washing machine. I'm not sure it
works so well though:last week I put a load in and pulled the chain and
haven't seen them since. Your father's got a really good job now. He's got 500 men under him. He's cutting the grass at the cemetery.
> Your sister Rose had a baby this morning but I haven't found out if it's
a boy or a girl, so I don't know whether you are an auntie or an uncle.
> Your brother Tom is still in the army. He's only been there a short while
and they've already made him a court martial!
> Your Uncle Steve drowned last week in a vat of whiskey in the Walton
Brewery.Some of his workmates tried to save him but he fought them off
bravely.They cremated him and it took three days to put out the fire.
> I'm sorry to say that your cousin Billy was arrested while riding his
bicycle last week. They are charging him with dope peddling.
I went to the doctor on Thursday and your father went with me. The doctor
put a small tube in my mouth and told me not to talk for ten minutes. Your
father offered to buy it from him.
>
The weather isn't bad here. It only rained twice this week, first for
three days and then for four days.Monday was so windy one of the chickens laid the same egg four times.
> We had a letter from the under-taker.He said if the last payment on your
Grandmother's plot wasn't paid in seven days, up she comes.
> About that coat you wanted me to send you,your Uncle Stanley said it
would be too heavy to send in the mail with the buttons on,so we cut them off and put them in the pockets. John locked his keys in the car yesterday.We were really worried because it took him two hours to get me and your father out.
> Three of your friends went off a bridge into the Mersey in a pick-up
truck. Ralph was driving.He rolled down the window and swam to safety. Your other two friends were in back.They drowned because they couldn't get the tailgate down.
> There isn't much more news at this time. Nothing much has happened.
> Your loving Mum
> P.S. I was going to send you some money but I had already sealed the
envelope
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Tom
Member
Registered: 3rd Apr 02
Location: Wirral, Merseyside
User status: Offline
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 well funny, but don't hate on the scouse cos' of mikey 
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Shelly
Premium Member
Registered: 15th Nov 00
Location: Lancashire Drives: Astra H VXR
User status: Offline
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youve set me off now 
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MikeLamb
Member
Registered: 23rd Sep 03
Location: Crowthorne Drives: Veccy SRI
User status: Offline
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Tom
Member
Registered: 3rd Apr 02
Location: Wirral, Merseyside
User status: Offline
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sowwy
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langey
Member
Registered: 7th Sep 03
Location: Wigan
User status: Offline
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i fail to see the funny side of it.
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Shelly
Premium Member
Registered: 15th Nov 00
Location: Lancashire Drives: Astra H VXR
User status: Offline
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you can't see whats funny?!
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colette
Member
Registered: 3rd Jan 04
Location: Great Lumley, County Durham
User status: Offline
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thats good that, i like the last ps!! lmao 
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