Jason Iles
Member
Registered: 19th Jun 01
Location: Bristol
User status: Offline
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A French football fan, a German football fan and an English football fan are
all in Saudi Arabia, sharing a smuggled crate of booze, when all of a
sudden, Saudi police rush in and arrest them.
The mere possession of alcohol is a severe offence in Saudi Arabia, so for
the terrible crime of actually being caught consuming the booze, they are
all sentenced to death.
However, after many months and with the help of good lawyers, they are able
to successfully appeal their sentences down to life imprisonment.
By a stroke of luck, it was a Saudi national holiday the day their trial
finished, and the extremely benevolent Sheikh decided they could be released
after receiving just 20 lashes each of the whip. As they were preparing for
the whipping, the Sheikh announced "It is my first wife's birthday today,
and she has asked me to allow you one wish before your whipping."
The Frenchman was first in line, he thought for a while and then said,
"Please tie a pillow to my back". This was done, but the pillow only lasted
10 lashes before the whip went through. When the punishment was done, he had
to be carried away bleeding and crying in pain.
The German was next up. After watching the Frenchman's pain in horror, he
said smugly "Please fix two pillows to my back". But even two pillows could
only take 15 lashes before the whip went through and again the German was
led away whimpering loudly (as they do)
The Englishman was the last one up, but before he could say anything the
Sheikh turned to him and said. " You are from a most beautiful part of the
world and your culture is one of the finest in the world. For this you may
have two wishes". "Thank you, your Most Royal and Merciful Highness" The
Englishman replied. "My first wish is that you give me not 20 lashes, but
100 lashes". "Not only are you an honourable person, you are also very
brave" said the Sheikh with an admiring look on his face. If a 100 lashes is
what you desire, then so be it. And your second wish?.
"Tie the Frenchman to my back".
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Marc
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Registered: 11th Aug 02
Location: York
User status: Offline
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Tom
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Registered: 3rd Apr 02
Location: Wirral, Merseyside
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Icy
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Registered: 31st Jan 01
Location: Edinburgh Drives: Mk3 Golf Gti
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Colin
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Registered: 4th Apr 02
User status: Offline
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Shelly
Premium Member
Registered: 15th Nov 00
Location: Lancashire Drives: Astra H VXR
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quality!!
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Nismo
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Registered: 12th Sep 02
User status: Offline
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rapid
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Registered: 28th Sep 03
Location: Redditch, England
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TNM
Member
Registered: 5th Apr 04
Location: Nottingham Drives: VW Tiguan
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old but still funny
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Robbo
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Registered: 6th Aug 02
Location: London
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Natalie
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Registered: 5th Nov 03
Location: Oxfordshire Drives: Vauxhall Tigra 1.8
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leeshez
Member
Registered: 3rd May 01
Location: Great Harwood, Lancashire
User status: Offline
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Old ones are the best 
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