purple_corsa_gls
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Registered: 25th May 04
Location: Near Sunderland
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My best mate is a lass and the problem is shes really good looking and has a great personality. people always say that "oooooh. you'll end up married one day - you always do with best mates". I've always thought bollocks, but then when she was having problems with her boyfriend she got talking and i said i have always liked her and she said the same. we were both in relatinships at the time though - shes still with him.
I've been seeing her a lot recently and cant really stop thinking about her. when i was on holiday i found myself comparing girls to her.
How do i stop because i dont want to fuck up our friendship.
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mike_1.2LS96
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Registered: 23rd Oct 03
Location: Darlington | Mazda 323 1.8 Exec
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Im in a similar situation, except the girl I like has a boyfriend, we aren't friends really just work mates. Well it not the same but I can't help liking her. Spoke to her twice and got rejected twice, got to try again I think. She hasn't said the big NO so i will persue 
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MikeE
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Registered: 7th Mar 03
Location: Milton Keynes
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To tell you the truth mate if u feel like this now and u keep staying mates and gettin close u most probally will keep falling. ive been in this situation and its never good when the birds got a bloke and ur single 
maybe u should try look for another girl and see if u can kind of forget your feelings so to speak for your girl mate? sorry if thats no help mate
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purple_corsa_gls
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Registered: 25th May 04
Location: Near Sunderland
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Shes with that lad still. its not the rejection though. its that fact that were great mates and i wouldnt want to fuck it up. if i was to start seeing her it would end up serious so i wouldnt even want to for a few years coz im too young
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sassyminx
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Registered: 10th Jan 04
Location: Hartlepool Drives: Cossie
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quote:
Originally posted by purple_corsa_gls
My best mate is a lass and the problem is shes really good looking and has a great personality. people always say that "oooooh. you'll end up married one day - you always do with best mates". I've always thought bollocks, but then when she was having problems with her boyfriend she got talking and i said i have always liked her and she said the same. we were both in relatinships at the time though - shes still with him.
I've been seeing her a lot recently and cant really stop thinking about her. when i was on holiday i found myself comparing girls to her.
How do i stop because i dont want to fuck up our friendship.
why does this always happen?
i think the worst thing is , a man cannot have a female best friend without fancying them whereas the female tends to look at him as her best mate
my best mate declared he loved me in feb after getting me with one of his mates, told me it was eating him up inside seeing all these lads messing me about when he knew how nice i was and how he wud never do that to me, and i was totally shocked.
i never once thought that he had that sorta feelings for me, and it made me think back to times when he told me he loved me ( i thought as a mate ) and i said, i love u too your mint ( meaning as a mate) and how he maybe had mis read the situation and somehow that was my fault.
he has a gf of 2 yrs and they fight a lot mainly cos she goes on at him like his mother, putting him down in front of his mates, etc and i tend to be on his side cos i like him more than i do her. one of my other mates, his best male mate, told me that its prob cos im the total opposite to his gf and am laid back like he is, and we into the same things etc. he asked me if i wud get with him and i said no, cos i wouldnt want to ruin our friendship, and i can honestly say id never looked at him in any other way than a big brother/best friend sorta way.
every lad i asked told me that they have ulterior motives when it comes to having a best mate who is female and 99% of em said they wud love to be in a relationship with them!!!
id say mate, if u and her both want it, do it the right way and end your current relationships and take it from there, ul find that cos your best mates, u know each other well anyway and shouldnt have any major problems, but are u willing to get together and if u split up lose your really good friendship?
i wasnt willing to take the risk but if u want it go for it mate 
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purple_corsa_gls
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Registered: 25th May 04
Location: Near Sunderland
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thats the thing i dont know. it has never been about anything other than a close friendship before - like my sister (in a non-incest kind of way). but i just cant stop thinking about her. i dont think i would want to get with her like that as she has fucked lads around before, and been fucked around herself.
just confused!!
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sassyminx
Member
Registered: 10th Jan 04
Location: Hartlepool Drives: Cossie
User status: Offline
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quote:
Originally posted by purple_corsa_gls
thats the thing i dont know. it has never been about anything other than a close friendship before - like my sister (in a non-incest kind of way). but i just cant stop thinking about her. i dont think i would want to get with her like that as she has fucked lads around before, and been fucked around herself.
just confused!!
yea well my best mate said that, n he told me ( when drunk) - funny how men always talk honest when drunk init - that everything i did, he compared to his gf and i was always the one he thought of first 
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purple_corsa_gls
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Registered: 25th May 04
Location: Near Sunderland
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ooooh. not that bad yet.....hope not anyway!!!
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Adam
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Registered: 1st May 01
Location: Hurstbourne Tarrant
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Ally
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Registered: 2nd Jul 03
Location: Pontypool Drives: a Skoda
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Ive got 2 close male mates, ive never seen them in that  kinda way, but one of them told me he really liked me when we first met each other, but now we are best mates and have agreed to stay that way!!!
Ive never ever seen any of my male friends as anything more than a friend!
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willay
Moderator
Organiser: South East, National Events
Premium Member
Registered: 10th Nov 02
Location: Roydon, Essex
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try to stop thinking with your dick, or just stay away from her. Start chasing some other lass, that will porbably help.
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AndyW
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Registered: 28th Oct 02
Location: Greater London
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i go out with this girl loads...shes my 'mate' but i want her so bad!
she has a bf n tells me the shit she puts up with from him...n im always there if she needs sum1! but im past the bf stage now i think
i know wat u mean i think bout her all the time to...she is absolutely stunning...too good lookin for me, pisses me off goin to a pub with her n blokes sayin how the fuck does he pull her etc...
i want ehr to know how i feel, but for the same reason as you, not wantin to fuk up freindship n not lose her as a mate i will stay quiet.
but then i think if i dont tell her, ill never know!
so fuckin complicated
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mike_1.2LS96
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Registered: 23rd Oct 03
Location: Darlington | Mazda 323 1.8 Exec
User status: Offline
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I said to someone at work i like this las, and three weeks later, it gets out. Another workmate told her on Tuesday, I didn't know until Thursday, which was when she was off work. I decided to just talk to her the next day, so camped out down by the locker rooms and asked her for a chat.
I think she was in real shock, but had to tell me she had a boyfriend. She thinks shes not good looking, but I think of her the other way round, shes way too good for me. Anyway, I ended up saying lets just forget about it. But the next day I ended up just dropping a bomb saying I wanted to ask her out, i was coming on monday just to see her etc loads of crap...
I dunno where I stand, but I have never been this open with a girl before and I absolutly love it.
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Ian
Site Administrator
Registered: 28th Aug 99
Location: Liverpool
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Choice of two answers on this one:
You are only seeing the good bits as you're far away from it not to be properly involved. Falling for her is based on your ideal picture of her, which may or may not represent what she is like in a relationship. It sounds lovely but the desires are based on false information.
OR
Get it done and stop wasting time.
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Marc
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Registered: 11th Aug 02
Location: York
User status: Offline
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quote:
Originally posted by Ian
Choice of two answers on this one:
You are only seeing the good bits as you're far away from it not to be properly involved. Falling for her is based on your ideal picture of her, which may or may not represent what she is like in a relationship. It sounds lovely but the desires are based on false information.
OR
Do her dry and stop wasting time.
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1600power
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Registered: 22nd Apr 04
Location: Shropshire Drives: 1.6 16v Sport
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i had a similer situation m8, she was the best m8 ever and very sweet, sexy, etc we'd been friends all through school and in college it started to get alot more touchey feely!
One day she asked me out and i naturally said yes cause i felt so happy and natural with her, unfortunutly after a few months it all sort of ended and i was without my best mate anymore which sucked and was never the same since which i felt really about for ages.
be careful m8, u'll end up asking her out or trying to kiss her anyway as it stands as these feelings wont just go away! just be careful cause they dont always go the way u want them 2!
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ed
Member
Registered: 10th Sep 03
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Or you could open up a can of giveashit and see what happens.
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AndyW
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Registered: 28th Oct 02
Location: Greater London
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think thats the approach im gonna take just go for it see wat happens
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Drew
Banned
Registered: 24th Nov 01
Location: County Durham
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quote:
Originally posted by AndyW
think thats the approach im gonna take just go for it see wat happens
dont you have any respect for jambo then? how he would feel if you approach her
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AndyW
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Registered: 28th Oct 02
Location: Greater London
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quote:
Originally posted by Drew
quote:
Originally posted by AndyW
think thats the approach im gonna take just go for it see wat happens
dont you have any respect for jambo then? how he would feel if you approach her
wtf u on bout knobber
i aint after chanel, not my type shes quality n we get on great but not like that!
its not chanel i want 
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Drew
Banned
Registered: 24th Nov 01
Location: County Durham
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so you dont go after the chunky type then? 
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sassyminx
Member
Registered: 10th Jan 04
Location: Hartlepool Drives: Cossie
User status: Offline
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quote:
Originally posted by Drew
so you dont go after the chunky type then?
she aint chunky
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Drew
Banned
Registered: 24th Nov 01
Location: County Durham
User status: Offline
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quote:
Originally posted by sassyminx
quote:
Originally posted by Drew
so you dont go after the chunky type then?
she aint chunky
well compared..........
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sassyminx
Member
Registered: 10th Jan 04
Location: Hartlepool Drives: Cossie
User status: Offline
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quote:
Originally posted by Drew
quote:
Originally posted by sassyminx
quote:
Originally posted by Drew
so you dont go after the chunky type then?
she aint chunky
well compared..........
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AndyW
Member
Registered: 28th Oct 02
Location: Greater London
User status: Offline
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quote:
Originally posted by sassyminx
quote:
Originally posted by Drew
quote:
Originally posted by sassyminx
quote:
Originally posted by Drew
so you dont go after the chunky type then?
she aint chunky
well compared..........
bein a bit of a cock aint ya mate
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