lil miss kinky
Member
Registered: 16th Jun 04
Location: Sutton-on-Hull, Kingston upon Hull
User status: Offline
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> My boyfriend, not happy with my mood swings, bought me a mood ring the other day so he would be able to monitor my moods. When I'm in a good mood it turns green. When I'm in a bad mood it leaves a big f*cking red mark on his forehead. Maybe next time he'll buy me a diamond.
> My husband came home with a tube of KY jelly and said, "This will make you happy tonight." He was right. When he went out of the bedroom, I squirted it all over the doorknobs. He couldn't get back in.
> A couple are lying in bed. The man says, "I am going to make you the happiest woman in the world." The woman says, "I'll miss you."
Q: What do you call an intelligent, good looking, sensitive man?
A: A rumour.
> He said - Since I first laid eyes on you, I've wanted to make love to you really badly.
She said - Well, you've succeeded.
> He said 'Shall we try swapping positions tonight?'. She said 'That's a good idea... you stand by the ironing board while I sit on the sofa and fart'.
He said 'What have you been doing with all the grocery money that I gave you?'
She said 'Turn sideways and look in the mirror you fat bastard'.
Q: What's the difference between a boyfriend and a husband?
A: 45 minutes.
Q: What's the fastest way to a man's heart?
A: Through his chest with a sharp knife.
Q: Why do men want to marry virgins?
A: They can't stand criticism.
Q:What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying?
A:The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving
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Pablo
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Registered: 3rd Feb 03
Location: Milton Keynes
User status: Offline
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TNM
Member
Registered: 5th Apr 04
Location: Nottingham Drives: VW Tiguan
User status: Offline
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ross23
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Registered: 17th Mar 04
Location: York
User status: Offline
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leeshez
Member
Registered: 3rd May 01
Location: Great Harwood, Lancashire
User status: Offline
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chris_uk
Premium Member
Registered: 8th Jul 03
User status: Offline
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lil miss kinky
Member
Registered: 16th Jun 04
Location: Sutton-on-Hull, Kingston upon Hull
User status: Offline
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quote: Originally posted by leeshez
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Jason Iles
Member
Registered: 19th Jun 01
Location: Bristol
User status: Offline
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Sexist
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lil miss kinky
Member
Registered: 16th Jun 04
Location: Sutton-on-Hull, Kingston upon Hull
User status: Offline
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quote: Originally posted by J 11ESY
Sexy
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Adam-D
Member
Registered: 11th May 02
Location: Cheshire
User status: Offline
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no bad some made me laugh
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Tom
Member
Registered: 3rd Apr 02
Location: Wirral, Merseyside
User status: Offline
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Crap
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lil miss kinky
Member
Registered: 16th Jun 04
Location: Sutton-on-Hull, Kingston upon Hull
User status: Offline
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quote: Originally posted by Tom
Crap
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