LukeGSi
Member
Registered: 9th Dec 03
User status: Offline
|
I need to laugh....thank you please
|
leeshez
Member
Registered: 3rd May 01
Location: Great Harwood, Lancashire
User status: Offline
|
http://www.corsasport.co.uk/board/viewthread.php?tid=176072
|
LukeGSi
Member
Registered: 9th Dec 03
User status: Offline
|
Read it and laughed. More please
|
Kerry
Member
Registered: 5th Oct 01
Location: Norwich
User status: Offline
|
look in a mirror
|
LukeGSi
Member
Registered: 9th Dec 03
User status: Offline
|
I don't understand the punchline
|
CorsAsh
Member
Registered: 19th Apr 02
Location: Munich
User status: Offline
|
I got a joke for you here...
|
LukeGSi
Member
Registered: 9th Dec 03
User status: Offline
|
|
CorsAsh
Member
Registered: 19th Apr 02
Location: Munich
User status: Offline
|
Pug Nut is a joke.
|
leeshez
Member
Registered: 3rd May 01
Location: Great Harwood, Lancashire
User status: Offline
|
Oh dear
|
Kerry
Member
Registered: 5th Oct 01
Location: Norwich
User status: Offline
|
knock knock
|
leeshez
Member
Registered: 3rd May 01
Location: Great Harwood, Lancashire
User status: Offline
|
Whos there?
|
Kerry
Member
Registered: 5th Oct 01
Location: Norwich
User status: Offline
|
go and answer the bloody door and you will find out
|
CorsAsh
Member
Registered: 19th Apr 02
Location: Munich
User status: Offline
|
quote: Originally posted by leeshez
Oh dear
I'm sorry, I can't get it right every time
|
Kerry
Member
Registered: 5th Oct 01
Location: Norwich
User status: Offline
|
kerry for team manager
|
LukeGSi
Member
Registered: 9th Dec 03
User status: Offline
|
Yes.
|
dousey
Member
Registered: 21st May 03
Location: Selsey, West Sussex
User status: Offline
|
Whats 44+4+8?
a 3some with Michael Jackson
|
LukeGSi
Member
Registered: 9th Dec 03
User status: Offline
|
Thats 56 not 3
|
Kerry
Member
Registered: 5th Oct 01
Location: Norwich
User status: Offline
|
kerry for team manager
|
Hagger
Member
Registered: 6th Mar 04
Location: Hull
User status: Offline
|
The dodo died. Then Dodi died, Di died and Dando died... Dido must be
sh*tting herself.
Colin & Fergus at the Pleasance
My parents are from Glasgow which means they're incredibly hard, but I
was never smacked as a child ... well maybe one or two grams to get me
to sleep at night.
Susan Murray at the Underbelly
Is it fair to say that there'd be less litter in Britain if blind
people were given pointed sticks?
Adam Bloom at the Pleasance
My mum and dad are Scottish but they moved down to Wolverhampton when
I was two, 'cause they wanted me to sound like a tw*t.
Susan Murray at the Underbelly
A lady with a clipboard stopped me in the street the other day. She
said, "Can you spare a few minutes for cancer research?" I said, "All
right, but we're not going to get much done."
Jimmy Carr at the ICC
I realised I was dyslexic when I went to a toga party dressed as a
goat.
Marcus Brigstocke at the Assembly Rooms
My dad's dying wish was to have his family around him. I can't help
thinking he would have been better off with more oxygen.
Jimmy Carr at the ICC
You have to remember all the trivia that your girlfriend tells you,
because eventually you get tested. She'll go: "What's my favourite
flower?" And you murmur to yourself: "Sh*t, I wasn't listening ...
Self-raising?"
Addy Van-Der-Borgh at the Assembly Rooms
The world is a dangerous place; only yesterday I went into Boots and
punched someone in the face.
Jeremy Limb, at the Trap
Cats have nine lives. Which makes them ideal for experimentation.
Jimmy Carr
I saw that show, 50 Things To Do Before You Die. I would have thought
the obvious one was "Shout For Help".
Mark Watson, Rhod Gilbert at the Tron
I went out with an Irish Catholic. Very frustrating. You can take the
Girl out of Cork ...
Markus Birdman at the Pod Deco
Got a phone call today to do a gig at a fire station. Went along.
Turned out it was a bloody hoax.
Adrian Poynton at the Pleasance
Employee of the month is a good example of how somebody can be both a
winner and a loser at the same time.
Demetri Martin at the Assembly Rooms
The right to bear arms is slightly less ludicrous than the right to
arm bears.
Chris Addison at the Pleasance
My dad is Irish and my mum is Iranian, which meant that we spent most
of our family holidays in Customs.
Patrick Monahan at the Gilded Balloon
Sleeping with prostitutes is like making your cat dance with you on
its hind legs. You know it's wrong, but you try to convince yourself
that they're enjoying it as well.
Scott Capurro at the Pleasance
A dog goes into a hardware store and says: "I'd like a job please".
The hardware store owner says: "We don't hire dogs, why don't you go
join the circus?" The dog replies: "What would the circus want with a
plumber".
Steven Alan Green at C34
Hey - you want to feel really handsome? Go shopping at The Warehouse.
Brendon Burns at the Pleasance
I like to go into the Body Shop and shout out really loud "I've
already got one!"
Norman Lovett at The Stand
It's easy to distract fat people. It's a piece of cake.
Chris Addison at the Pleasance
I enjoy using the comedy technique of self-deprecation - but I'm not
very good at it.
Arnold Brown at The Stand
If you're being chased by a police dog, try not to go through a
tunnel, then on to a little seesaw, then jump through a hoop of fire.
They're trained for that.
Milton Jones at the Underbelly
I was walking the streets of Glasgow the other week and I saw this
sign:
"This door is alarmed." I said to myself: "How do you think I feel?"
Arnold Brown at The Stand
|
leeshez
Member
Registered: 3rd May 01
Location: Great Harwood, Lancashire
User status: Offline
|
quote: Originally posted by Kerry
go and answer the bloody door and you will find out
Hoy u there is no one at the dam door. It was dark and cold and i got scared
|
Colin.S
Member
Registered: 19th Oct 02
User status: Offline
|
Two fat blokes in a pub...one says to the other 'your round'
the other man says 'so are you ya fat bastard'
|
LukeGSi
Member
Registered: 9th Dec 03
User status: Offline
|
quote: Originally posted by Hagger
A dog goes into a hardware store and says: "I'd like a job please".
The hardware store owner says: "We don't hire dogs, why don't you go
join the circus?" The dog replies: "What would the circus want with a
plumber".
I feel this amuses me more than it should
|
LukeGSi
Member
Registered: 9th Dec 03
User status: Offline
|
Colin
|
Robbo
Member
Registered: 6th Aug 02
Location: London
User status: Offline
|
Moldova 1 - 1 Scotland
Nuff said
|
Colin.S
Member
Registered: 19th Oct 02
User status: Offline
|
quote: Originally posted by LukeGSi
Colin
Mr GSI
Anyone else think that leeshez should have his own sticky thread for all his jokes?
|