CorsaLad16v
Member
Registered: 5th Mar 03
Location: Sheffield UK Drives: VW Golf
User status: Offline
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Roger was a hard-working guy whose evenings were spent playing volleyball and bowling. For his birthday, his wife took him to a strip club. The bouncer at the door said, "Hi, Roger, good to see ya again."
The wife asked, "Have you been here before?"
Roger said, "Oh no, he's on my bowling team!"
A waitress came to their table and said, "Hey Roger, the usual?"
The wife said, "Are you sure you've never been here before?"
"No, no, hon," Roger protested. "I know her from volleyball!"
A stripper came over, threw her arms around him and said,
"Another lap dance tonight, Roger?"
The wife leaped to her feet and stormed out. Roger followed, saw her getting into a cab and leaped inside before she could slam the door. Furious, she let him have it with both barrels.
When she paused for breath, the taxi driver said, "Boy, you picked up a real bitch tonight, Roger!"
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Vaseline and super glue
A little boy came down for breakfast one morning and asked his grandma, Where's Mom and dad?"
And she replied, "they're up in bed."
The little boy started to giggle and ate his breakfast and went out to play.
Then he came back in for lunch and asked his grandma "where's Mom and Dad?"
And she replied; "they're still up in bed."
Again the little boy started to giggle and he ate his lunch and went out to play.
Then the little boy came in for dinner and once again he asked his Grandma "where's Mom and dad?"
And his grandmother replied; "they're still up in bed."
The little boy started to laugh and his grandmother said;
"Every time I tell you they're still up in bed you start to laugh what is going on here?"
The little boy replied, "Well last night daddy came into my bedroom and asked me for the Vaseline and I gave him super glue."
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A little girl is walking along in the park when she comes across 3 little dogs sitting there she bends down to stroke the first dog and says "How are you today little doggy?"
To her utmost surprise the dog answers "I am very happy and contented, and have been going in and out of puddles all day"
The girl then turns to the second dog and says "How are you today little doggy"
The dog answers "I am very happy and contented, and have been going in and out of puddles all day"
The girl then turns to the third dog and say "Little doggy you don't look as happy and contented as the other two, why would this be"
At this the third dog answers "because my name is Puddles"
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A construction worker on the third floor of a building needs a handsaw. He sees one of the laborers on the first floor and yells down to him, but the man indicates that he can't hear. So, the guy on the third floor tries to use signs. He points to his eye, meaning, "I", then at his knee, meaning, "need", then he moves his hand back and forth, meaning, "handsaw". The man on the first floor nods, then drops his pants and begins to masturbate.
The man on the third floor freaks out and runs down to the first floor yelling, ''What the hell is wrong with you!?! Are you stupid or something? I was saying that I needed a handsaw!''
The laborer looks at the carpenter and says, ''I knew that. I was just trying to tell you that I was coming.''
 
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