Phil Hall
Member
Registered: 28th Sep 01
Location: Belfast
User status: Offline
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>>> Thought you might appreciate these faux pas...
>>>
>>> >>>>>>>>'Did I say that?'
>>> > > >
>>> > > > Michael Buerk watching Phillipa Forrester cuddle a male
>>>astronomer for
>>> > > > warmth during BBC1's eclipse coverage remarked:
>>> > > > "They seem cold out there, they're rubbing each other and
>>>he's come in
>>> > > > his shorts."
>>> > > >
>>> > > > Ken Brown commentating on golfer Nick Faldo and his caddie
>>>Fanny
>>> > > > Sunneson lining-up shots at the Scottish Open:
>>> > > > "Some weeks Nick likes to use Fanny, other weeks he prefers
>>>to do it by
>>> > > > himself."
>>> > > >
>>> > > > Mike Hallett discussing missed snooker shots on Sky Sports:
>>> > > > "Stephen Hendry jumps on Steve Davis's misses every chance
>>>he gets."
>>> > > >
>>> > > > Jack Burnicle was talking about Colin Edwards' tyres on
>>>World
>>> > > > Superbikes:
>>> > > > "Colin had a hard on in practice earlier, and I bet he
>>>wished he had a
>>> > > > hard on now."
>>> > > >
>>> > > > Chris Tarrant discussing the first Millionaire winner
>>>Judith Keppel on
>>> > > > This Morning:
>>> > > > "She was practising fastest finger first by herself in bed
>>>last night."
>>> > > >
>>> > > > Winning Post's Stewart Machin commentating on jockey Tony
>>>McCoy's
>>> > > > formidable lead:
>>> > > > "Tony has a quick look between his legs and likes what he
>>>sees."
>>> > > >
>>> > > > Ross King discussing relays with champion runner Phil
>>>Redmond:
>>> > > > "Well Phil, tell us about your amazing third leg."
>>> > > >
>>> > > > During the 1989 British Masters golf tournament,
>>>commentator Richie
>>> > > > Benaud observed:
>>> > > > "Notices are appearing at courses telling golfers not to
>>>lick their
>>> > > > balls on the green."
>>> > > >
>>> > > > Cricketer Neil Fairbrother hit a single during a Durham v
>>>Lancashire
>>> > > > match, inspiring Bobby Simpson to observe:
>>> > > > "With his lovely soft hands he just tossed it off."
>>> > > >
>>> > > > Clair Frisby talking about a jumbo hot dog on Look North
>>>said:
>>> > > > "There's nothing like a big hot sausage inside you on a
>>>cold night like
>>> > > > this."
>>> > > >
>>> > > > James Allen interviewing Ralf Schumacher at a Grand Prix,
>>>asked:
>>> > > > "What does it feel like being rammed up the backside by
>>>Barrichello?"
>>> > > >
>>> > > > Steve Ryder covering the US Masters:
>>> > > > "Ballesteros felt much better today after a 69."
>>> > > >
>>> > > > The new stand at Doncaster race course took Brough Scott's
>>>breath away.
>>> > > > "My word," he said. "Look at that magnificent erection."
>>> > > >
>>> > > > Willie Carson was telling Claire Balding how jockeys
>>>prepare for a big
>>> > > > race when he said:
>>> > > > "They usually have four or five dreams a night about coming
>>>from
>>> > > > different positions."
>>> > > >
>>> > > > Steve Leonard, talking about vegetation on Vets In The
>>>Wild, told
>>> > > > Trude:
>>> > > > "There's something big growing between my legs."
>>> > > >
>>> > > > Carenza Lewis about finding food in the Middle Ages on Time
>>>Team Live
>>> > > > said:
>>> > > > "You'd eat beaver if you could get it."
>>> > > >
>>> > > > And finally:
>>> > > >
>>> > > > Is this remark, by Cable TV's John Dykes when Wayne Rooney
>>>tried to
>>> > > > chip the Gunners' keeper in the last minute of Arsenal's
>>>defeat at Everton,
>>> > > > the best-ever Seaman pun?:
>>> > > > "It must be a young man that tries to lob Seaman twice in
>>>two
>>> > > > minutes..."
>>> > > >
SPORTS SLIP UPS
> > "Sure, there have been deaths in boxing but none of them
> > serious."(Alan Minter)
> >
> > "And this is Gregoriava from Bulgaria. I saw her snatch this
> > morning and it was amazing!" (Pat Glenn - weightlifting commentator)
> >
> > "Andrew Mehrtens loves it when Darryl Gibson comes inside of
> > him."(New Zealand rugby commentator Murray Mexted)
> >
> > "This is really a lovely horse. I once rode her mother."
> > (TedWalsh horse racing commentator)
> >
> > "I've never had major knee surgery on any other part of my
> > body." (Winston Bennett)
> >
> > "The lead car is absolutely unique, except for the one
> > behind it which is identical." (Murray Walker - F1 racing commentator)
> >
> > "I owe a lot to my parents, especially my father and
> > mother." (Greg Norman)
> >
> > "If history repeats itself, I should think we can expect the
> > same thing again." (Terry Venables)
> >
> > "I would not say that David Ginola is the best left winger
> > in the Premiership, but there are none better." (Ron Atkinson)
> >
> > "Ah, isn't that nice. The wife of the Cambridge president is
> > kissing the cox of the Oxford crew." (Harry Carpenter at the
> > Oxford-Cambridge boat race 1977)
> >
> > "Julian Dicks is everywhere. It's like they've got eleven
> > Dicks on the field " (Metro Radio)
> >
> > "Strangely, in slow motion replay, the ball seems to hang in
> > the air for even longer." (David Acfield)
> >
> > "What will you do when you leave football, Jack. Will you
> > stay in football? (Stuart Hall - Radio 5 live)
> >
> > "And there goes Juantorena down the back straight, opening
> > his legs and showing his class." (David Coleman at the Montreal
Olympics)
> >
> > "One of the reasons Arnie (Arnold Palmer) is playing so well
> > is that,before each tee shot, his wife takes out his balls and kisses
> > them.....Oh my God! What have I just said?!!!" (US PGA Commentator)
> >
> > "For those of you who are watching in black and white, the
> > blue is behind the brown"(Snooker commentator)
> >
> > True story... a female news anchor who, the day after it was
> > supposed to have snowed and didn't, turned to the weatherman and asked
"So Bob, where's that 8 inches you promised me last night?" Not only did HE
> have to leave the set, but half the crew did too as they were laughing so
hard!
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