flybikeslee
Member
Registered: 2nd Jan 07
Location: Liverpool
User status: Offline
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A woman brought a very limp duck into a vet's surgery. As she laid her pet on the table, the vet pulled out his> stethoscope and listened to the bird's chest. After a moment or two, the vet shook his head sadly and said 'I'm so sorry, your duck, 'Cuddles' has passed away'
The distressed owner wailed 'Are you sure ?'
'Yes, I am sure. The duck is dead,' he replied.
'How can you be so sure,' she protested. ' I mean, you haven't done any testing on him or anything. He might just be in a coma or something'
The Vet rolled his eyes, turned around and left the room, and returned a few minutes later with a black Labrador retriever.
As the duck's owner looked on in amazement, the dog stood on his hind legs, put his paws on the table and sniffed the duck from top to bottom. He then looked at the Vet with sad eyes and shook his head.
The vet patted the dog, and took it out, and returned a few minutes later with a cat. The cat jumped up on the table and also sniffed delicately at the bird from head to foot. The cat sat back on its haunches, shook its head, mewed softly and strolled out of the room.
The vet looked at the woman and said, 'I'm sorry, but as I said, this is most definitely, 100% certifiably, a dead duck'.
The vet turned to his PC, hit a few keys and produced a bill, which he handed to the woman.
The duck's owner, still in shock, took the bill. '£150!', she cried, £150 just to tell me my duck
is dead!'
The vet just shrugged, and said 'I'm sorry.
If you'd taken my word for it, the bill would have been £20, but with the Lab report and the Cat scan, it's now £150.
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Nath
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Registered: 3rd Apr 02
Location: MK
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Dom
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Registered: 13th Sep 03
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Marc
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Registered: 11th Aug 02
Location: York
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oceansoul
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Registered: 19th Jun 06
Location: Sunbury, Surrey
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lol
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Phi
Member
Registered: 8th Jan 07
Location: South
User status: Offline
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i thought you was going to tell us about your duck and it went to vets 
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Gareth F
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Registered: 16th Jan 08
Location: Location Location
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thats excellent!
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Gareth F
Member
Registered: 16th Jan 08
Location: Location Location
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I heard one today, nice and simple.
How do you get a fat bird into bed?
Piece of cake.
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Ellis
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Registered: 11th Sep 07
Location: Aberdeenshire
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Brilliant
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Dom
Member
Registered: 13th Sep 03
User status: Offline
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FPMSL!!!
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Jambo
Member
Registered: 8th Sep 01
Location: Maidenhead, Drives: VXR Arctic
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awesome
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gavin18787
Premium Member
Registered: 22nd Feb 05
Location: Basildon, Essex
User status: Offline
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Drives supercharged Tec with torque  
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MarkSport
Member
Registered: 22nd May 09
User status: Offline
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thats ace.i also got told that fat bird one the other day
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Sam
Moderator
Premium Member
Registered: 24th Dec 99
Location: West Midlands
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flybikeslee
Member
Registered: 2nd Jan 07
Location: Liverpool
User status: Offline
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true story
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Fonz
Premium Member
Registered: 12th May 06
Location: Newbury, Berks
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that is a good 'un!
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VegasPhil
Premium Member
Registered: 16th Jan 05
Location: Fareham, Hants Drives: Octavia VRS
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Corsa 2.0 16v Vegas - Sold
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Tom
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Registered: 3rd Apr 02
Location: Wirral, Merseyside
User status: Offline
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I thought the punch line was going to be someting about a duck billed platypus 
Funny though
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